Progress on flying leads!

Today we worked again on our flying lead changes.  We took a break from it the last few months, but pretty much everyone I watched at Training and above for show jumping could do them, and I just can't see how I will be able to get around a prelim show jumping course without them.
It was great!  First, Charlie caught on to the concept almost instantly (where he started offering them), which was a huge difference, because that seemed to be a mental hold up for him for years.  He got the idea of doing them from left to right, but it was like he couldn't even wrap his head around the concept from right to left.
He was trying to do them, but in this huge lunging, kicking way, where he would leap up all gigantic and forward (actually, that is what I saw him doing with Shannon over a ground pole in a lesson with Mike several years ago), and so sometimes he would get the change during the huge leap, but sometimes he wouldn't.
As we kept working, he quit needing to do the huge leap, and could do them a bit more reasonably.
John felt that I was a lot stronger and more balanced, so I could sit up and give something to Charlie to press into.  We also added in the detail of using my inside hip to press down, like if we were on the right lead and changing to the left, I would press down on my left seat bone, and put my right leg back, and use the whip, as well as have him bend to the left.
We worked on this with a couple of exercises.  We would half pass from the corner to the center line, and then turn the opposite direction (so if we half passed in the canter from K to X on the right lead, then I would bend him left at "G" so that at C, in theory, we would be on the left lead heading back towards H).  We also turned on the diagonal, then half passed starting at X, so if I was on the left lead, I would go pass A, turn left at F, at X start half passing to the left, turn his head right, and ask for the change at H, so by C we would be on the right lead.
Charlie was soaking wet (it was also hot out) so I walked him on the trail afterwards.  It was a really great lesson.  It's too much for me to try to do on my own, because John said he has a couple ways to try to evade the work (and it took me a while to get him really half passing).  When he does the carousel horse, John says we have to nip that in the bud immediately.  At one point, Charlie got really frustrated and wouldn't listen to anything or bend left at all, so John had us halt, then bend him left, then do a turn on the forehand, then go back to work, and it seemed to reset Charlie's brain.  When he was doing the carousel horse, John had us quit working on the flying leads and work on some trot work and transitions instead.
I liked that there was a pattern that set Charlie up for success, and also helped him figure out what we were asking him for, and I also like that it is a pattern I will never do in a dressage test, so he won't get too exuberant and start trying it willy nilly.
I also asked John about my two flops where Charlie saved my bacon at Inavale.  He said for the water, that it starts out at about 6", but within one stride, is like 2' deep.  He asked Peaches, and she said pretty much every rider had issues in the water.  So that's why the jump felt fine, and then I flopped, it was the footing and Charlie scrambling in it.  He also said everyone had trouble with the triple, because when they removed the first hibiscus, it took the "round" out of the turn, and everyone ended up making an angled turn, where we drifted right toward the judge's stand, and didn't come in nice and straight.  He said if they had left that fence up, it would have helped make the turn more structured.  So it wasn't just me, but I was lucky to have good boy Charlie (and all those grids) work through it.
Charlie got a puncture wound on Tuesday.  Diane said his stall gate seemed to have gotten half shut, and then there was a bolt on the "inside" that Charlie could have done it on.  It was the only thing they found (and they took the gate out).  He seems to be doing ok.  I talked with her (and Bre) about whether Charlie was too much for them.  They said he is more than they are used to, but they have that young horse that isn't ridden and Kevin …
She also told me that on Wednesday (?), Deb Stevens came by looking for a place to board.  She said that Deb said that she used to be at Forest Park.  I told her I had never met Deb.  She said Deb wanted to hug Charlie, but so far as I know, the only time she would have met him was when he was a baby.

Inavale was hot!

95ish Friday and Saturday, maybe only 85 on Sunday.  Despite the searing heat, it hailed from minutes 4-6 of my cross country ride (with a 0% chance of rain) and just before I show jumped (2% chance).
The negative is we got 4th, after being tied for 5th after dressage and cross country.
The positives were:
- I felt that our dressage was much, much stronger than last year, even if the score didn't reflect it.  I think the pictures showed it too.  I could tell it was a picture of a trot lengthening and a canter lengthening just by Charlie.
- Charlie saved my bacon once in cross country and once in show jumping.  He is an honest gentleman.
- I was very, very, very nervous about cross country after the first time I walked it.  After the second time, I was still pretty nervous.  The third walk was with John, and that made me feel a lot better.  The fourth walk was a half walk and it was just to cement what John had told me.
- I watched the upper level riders and it was surprising how difficult a time they had.  It made me feel better that even they make mistakes.
- Charlie was an absolute rock star in show jumping.  I did pretty well (there is a photo of my head looking at the next fence from the center of the air over the fence - go me), until the triple, and then somehow I just completely fell apart over the first fence, stood straight up to get out of Charlie's way over the center over, and then Charlie the champ finished up on his own with me hanging on his mouth.  Thank god for all those grids with John and Charlie just dutifully doing his job, unlike some of the bad horses we saw.
- The cross country had a big wide table (fence 5), then an angled three log into the water, out a ramp, to an angled ramp, two strides, down bank.  I was on Charlie's neck in the water, and so again, like a true workhorse, he just took us through the ramp and down bank as smooth as could be.
He is a super, duper horse.
Then we had a HUGE trakhener, a few giant log piles, a "lion trap", and then an uphill with a hard left turn to an up bank, one stride, log pile.  He did them all like he just loved his job.
I can't say enough good things about what a good boy he was.  He is an amazing horse.
I wore my dressage jacket even though they were waived, and we messed up the halt, but he did really well for 8 minutes of warm up.  I did a super light warm up for cross country and I was worried about the heat, 420 mpm, and 6 minutes, but then we were fast!  5:23 instead of 6:01.
I hung up a fly sheet for shade the end of the second day, and had a little battery powered fan going.  He got sweaty just standing in the stall and didn't eat as much as normal, but peed and pooped pretty well.
It was fun.  I think I'll need to do training again next year, but that was my original thought anyway.  1 year BN, 2 years N, 2 years T, and then 3-4 years P.
The good part was I had even more time to think between the fences and in the dressage movements, I had a little better working knowledge about what the course was asking for and how to work it, and I felt like we did a really good job together, even with the hiccups in getting started with the show season this year.

Dressage with draw reins

In preparation for Inavale (fingers crossed), we rode in draw reins today.  It was 84 out, and Charlie was a bit of a slug again.  I feel bad - I should have him skinnier and in better shape before asking him to work in this heat, but I never expected it would get this hot this early in the season, and the last couple months got away from me.
We worked on 10 meter circles down the centerline, changing direction.  Then we did quarter line to quarter line 10 meter circles.  Wait - those are the same thing.
Then we picked up the canter from the quarter line, which was really, really difficult to do.  John said he expects in warm up, in a big grassy field with no wall, Charlie will kind of ignore my aids and not really pay attention.  So he recommended that kind of precision in picking up the correct canter when it sort of surprises him.
Then we did some lengthening, at both trot and canter.  At first, this was difficult to really get Charlie going, but after the 10 meter circles, we got the most amazing lengthened trot yet, and then some really nice canter as well.
The draw reins really help, although I tend to let them slip.
We also worked on a 10 meter circle on Charlie's bend.  It is asking with the inside leg (next to the girth!) and then at the same time, half halting with the outside hand.  There is also asking him to leg yield to the outside while on the 10 meter circle, except for then the outside hand holds him and he doesn't really leg yield out.
John said it was a bit overdone, so that the show will feel like less.
As we were leaving, he talked a bit about the styles of showing, how 4* horses average competition lifespan is now 2 years, but the average age of an Olympic horse is 17 and it used to be 9.  He said it used to be very difficult to get a 9 in dressage, and then suddenly it got much easier.  He said it is also much more difficult for the horses going advanced and above because they have to have considerable collection for dressage, but then they can't collect like that to get over the cross country fences, so they have to know to listen to the collection for dressage but the same aid means something different for cross country.  It was really interesting.
He said again not to warm up for 15 minutes - to get out there, get immediately to work, and then stop so I don't wear him out.  He said check on how many riders are ahead, because sometimes they get really far behind and in the heat, I do not want to overwarm up Charlie.

Jump lesson with a quindrille (?)

I was fortunate enough to have two lessons with John this week; one dressage and one jump.  It was pretty warm today, and warm up was like riding a hunk of concrete.  Not only could I not get Charlie to bend, but he was essentially utterly non-responsive to my leg as well and heavy on my hand.
John had us do work on a circle, with a bend to the outside, make the circle smaller, bend to the inside while keeping everything else the same, and then leg yield back out.  What this does is get Charlie bending around my leg, and then lifting through his shoulders, without just going around the ring fighting with him.  Charlie and I are both stubborn, I think.
But jumping felt the same - it was like riding a downhill sled with no gas in it towards each fence.  John had an oxer with a left turn to a brick wall with a right turn back to the oxer.  I rode him to each fence whomping my legs on and off.  I was pouring sweat and panting, but it felt like I was riding a sack of potatoes.  I don't know if it was the heat or what.
Then we added in the row of five fences with a single stride between each.  These were a bit more interesting because the first couple were a little bumpy, but the last two were always great regardless of how the first two started.  (the one in the middle was just the middle)  John said I was looking too long at the first fence, but sometimes I would also get us on a bit of an angle, but Charlie the champ would get us through anyway.  The last two were really nice - he would round up and it just felt correct.
We did this a couple directions, and he finally whacked the brick wall oxer pretty good, and after that, he was a little less casual about picking up his own legs.
For the lead change, John says I get the front pretty consistently if I remember to turn my head the way I want to go.  The back isn't changing, and John says to try to remember to put my outside leg on.  As I type this, I'm pretty sure I'm putting my inside leg on, so I'll have to try to watch that next time.
I was also riding with my short crop, after months and months of riding with the super long crop.  I hated it, so it was good to practice with John because I probably won't jump again before the show (fingers crossed we make it to this one).
It is supposed to be 101 next Saturday on cross country day.
I put standing wraps on Charlie when we got back to the barn, but I got too anxious about them sagging, him getting tangled in them, and then panicking and killing himself in the night, so we went back out and took them off.  They were on for about four hours, but I didn't really see any difference.
John says for the heat, give electrolytes and cut the warm up in about half.  (15 minutes instead of 30)  I figure we also won't worry so much about making the time cross country because I don't want to fry him for show jumping.
It was a good lesson because I'd way rather ride with John in the heat before I ride in the show at the heat, but it was also kind of frustrating because I just didn't feel like I had him going.
John also said to keep his head up more.  He said Charlie was actually coming into the jump ok, but I'd let his head drop.  I need to follow up with him on that one.  I thought I understood it at the time but now that I'm writing it, I'm not sure I do.  He also wanted to know where my list of questions was, which was hilarious.  If I hadn't had such an incredibly terrible bad start to the day, I probably would have had one, but I was wiped out and just grateful to be riding outside in the sun and not at work.
John reminded me he doesn't like to jump them unless they've done dressage the day before, which I try to do, but I had a meeting last night and there wasn't any way to squeeze in a ride too.

3 loop serpentine at trot and canter

We didn't get to compete at Aspen because Charlie was ridiculously lame on Friday.  By Monday, he was back to normal.  No heat, no swelling, nothing I could find.  Per Dr. W's instructions, I gave him standing wraps, bute, stall rest, and cold hosing for three days, and the fourth day was just stall rest and then I got on him.
Then today we went to John's, where I still couldn't feel anything.  After my lesson, we watched a couple others, and Charlie did feel a little stiff as we walked off, so I'm wondering if it is not a foot but like a pulled muscle?
I asked John to look at his wind puffs and he said yes, indeed, they were wind puffs.  I told him I was anxious because Charlie never had them before and he said Charlie was never really working before.
During our lesson, we worked on more exercises that I can do at home.  They are designed to avoid frustration, where I am asking Charlie for the same thing in the same movement and not getting it.  They are supposed to keep Charlie sharp and responsive, making him naturally engaged instead of me trying to force him into it.
The exercises were:
10 meter circle to quarter line, leg yield to wall
4 loop serpentines (10 meter half circles), then deep into corner, outside rein, inside rein, then forward down the long side
3 loop serpentine to quarter line, leg yield to X, leg yield back to quarter line (and vice versa, leg yield to B or E, then back to quarter line)
3 loop serpentine at canter
By the end, Charlie was naturally lifted (although it helped that he has had essentially five days off).
John said that unless there is swelling, from now on he goes to the show and if he is lame, he gets bute. He said that some abscesses can come and go, so the foot is tender if they step on a rock, but then they get over it, and it ebbs and flows until the abscess is done working its way out.
Then we watched one of his students on her young former racehorse.  There were some antics from the horse that made me realize how much I am lacking in the control and balance department.  Then I watched a novice rider's jump lesson, and her horse lacked forward, so it was very helpful to watch her working on that.
As always, a great lesson with John that made my entire day.
I volunteered at Aspen for 1 1/2 of the days.  I worked mostly show jumping, and it was helpful to see the variety of riding styles (and personalities).  I walked the cross country course, and that was a huge relief.  There was a hard left turn to a roll top with a few strides to a log with a down bank into the water (first water combination) and I think one other slightly tricky combination, but other than that, I knew what the course was asking for and at least technically, I knew how to ride it (I think).  Nothing looked too scary or too hard, so Training is probably exactly right for this year ... if we can just get going.  I am very anxious that I am such a horrible horsekeeper that I am ruining Charlie.  Thank god for having John around to check in on him.

Show prep dressage lesson with John

Today we practiced Test A in the proper size arena.  John had a handful (exactly the number I could handle) of really great suggestions for improvement:
First - wait to turn left until "G" (between H & M) - I have been starting to think about it closer to X.
Second - use some inside leg (almost a bit of leg yield) on the 15 meter circles to keep them from being square.
Third - to get the deep corner, which comes out into the lengthened trot, warm up with bent to the outside on the corner, bend inside on the short edge, bend outside on the corner.  Do this a few times, then just hint at bend to the outside while keeping the inside bend.  After a few times of this, Charlie could go deep in the corner and it gave me so much extra space to come out of it and start lengthening.
Fourth - it isn't a "progressive lengthening", just lengthen.  So once I have it, don't keep stretching it out, otherwise I haven't done the movement.
Fifth - at the end of the stretchy trot circle, leg yield a couple of steps back to the short side before coming back to trot to walk.  Otherwise, the combination of lengthen, stretch, trot, walk, free walk makes Charlie sluggish - more sluggish - most sluggish.
Sixth - use a bit of inside hand to try to keep Charlie from tilting his head so much.
Seventh - in the warm up, do a canter, lengthen, trot, immediately lengthen the trot.  Do this down the long side just before we go in.  It gives Charlie a jazzed up trot to start out.
Eighth - I can either sit or post (yay!  I can sit!) but don't switch half way in a movement.  Definitely post the first trot lengthen.  If Charlie is sluggish, sit the second one.  A few of the movements are kind of obvious, like lengthen the trot, stretchy circle, trot, walk - that is all posting.
John had us do a few more exercises, lengthening the canter to lengthened trot and doing some leg yield at the trot and canter (!).  Charlie actually felt really great to me, and I'd be really happy if he felt that good at the show.

Jump lesson with John

We had a mid-morning lesson in our unseasonably warm weather.  Marc Grandia and some of his students (including Triangle) were also at Caber schooling.  We got quite sweaty, even though we were done by 10:30!
It was a good lesson.  To begin with, yesterday when I practiced the dressage test, I noticed that our stretchy circle was much improved (without me actively working on it!).  Charlie's balance is better, so the "ball" that is the center of balance is staying under his shoulders instead of going forward under his nose when he stretches down.  Half way around the first circle, I realized he wasn't racing forward on his forehand like we've been battling.  I also noticed that our canter to trot transition at X - while not perfect - is now a canter to sitting trot transition and not a canter to flying in the air posting trot transition like it was last year.  Those two things made me feel a lot better for about 10 seconds, until my second thought was that maybe we were doing something so much worse than last year that they feel better when they're actually quite worse.  I'll know by next Friday. 
In my lesson with John, he suggested that during the trot warm up, I do some small serpentines, just to get Charlie used to working off of my leg each direction and paying attention.
Our main takeaway from the fences was twofold:
First, use the outside rein to steer him to the fence.  If I hang on it, and we drag around the corner, we don't have enough time to get the "go" back to the fence.
Second, use that "go".  If I have enough forward energy, we can add a short stride or launch, but if I don't have the energy, it is a flat launch that risks a rail.
I could NOT get the lead changes at all, and John said to try once (use outside rein in a half halt) and then just ignore it and focus on the go, during the show jumping part of the test.  This was kind of depressing because I spent a lot of time this winter working on changes, but I haven't done it recently.
Although it was a pretty good ride, I was also then immediately down because I use my big long whip - the non-regulation dressage whip - and I got a lot of my forward "go" from that whip.  This is so I don't lock on with my legs, and I've been working myself off of my legs onto the whip.  But that whip does me NO good in a jump test, when I have my little jump bat.  I have to ask John about that on Wednesday.
It was only a pretty good ride because I felt all discombobulated and jerky, unlike how I felt when we went and rode at Rainbow last weekend.  I think it is nerves, especially with all the people around.
We started with a little cross rail and then a vertical.  Then John went straight to what is hardest for me, a hard right hand circle - an oxer and a vertical, each maybe on a 30 meter circle.  I bombed it several times in a row, with Charlie scooping his legs up to deer leap over the fence while I kept missing the lines, and then John told me to use my outside rein to steer and it all cleared up.
Then we did a few small courses, and the same thing - as long as I kept him forward, especially out of the turns, we did ok, even if he had to deer jump a couple.  It made me really appreciate Charlie - he is definitely the better of the two of us.
John set up a few 3'3" but nothing bigger I don't think.  We also did a couple combinations at an angle - coming in over the first fence and staying on a straight line so the second fence was an angle (or vice versa) - one show jump, one cross country combination like that.
I realized part of why I like John's lessons so much are he lets me make the mistake, tells me what to fix, lets me feel how the fix worked like magic, then explains why the fix works magic.  It cements using the fix in my head so much better than if he told me ahead of time how to ride it because I can feel it working.
I asked him if he'd tell me if I wasn't ready to go training, and he said yes.
I also asked him about the wind puffs and he said when I've given Charlie a hard work out, that night to wrap his legs to help with that. 

Lesson with Beth - riding every step, keeping the contact

Today with Beth in the studio we focused on two areas:  hamstrings and trapezius?  (center of back and just below arms on back).  It turns out I have even been able to "relax" incorrectly.  For the exercise on the foam roller with scarecrow arms, I should start with my arms crossed so that my back doesn't pop too high up (in the sway back arch) so that my shoulders can open in the front.
The hamstrings seemed a little easier to focus on than they have in the past.  It does really help to take the breath and center, and then do the movement.  We worked on egg beaters with my tailbone on a ball at the end, which I need to incorporate into my at home routine.  My legs had different ability to make the "D" shape, so I need to pay attention to that.
Then we also did a few exercises on the reformer which I think I can mimic at home, where I focus the lift from the spot between my shoulder blades instead of from my neck or from my lower back.
For some reason, today I also did a better job being able to feel this when I was on Charlie as well.  It was helpful because when we were sitting the trot, I could think of that spot and "anchor" my shoulders down into my waist.
I got a better appreciation for how to do scarecrow properly - it is much more difficult than the way I have been doing it - so that will be good to see if I improve by next time with this new appreciation for the nuances.
The studio lesson once again fit really well into my riding lesson.  We started with getting Charlie to "march" forward (Beth doesn't call it marching).  I needed the feeling of being able to halt or trot from the walk, and when he had enough forward coming from the hind end, his neck would more naturally round and he would feel heavier in my hand but softer in his shoulders.  I had to either use legs on-off-on-off or use the whip rhythmically.  He would get a little anxious after about five whip taps, so then we would give him a break from the whip but he had to keep moving forward.
From the walk, we did sitting trot with the same rhythmic tapping so that he was a bit more jazzed up than usual.  Then I took the energy (with shorter reins) and thought about his hind legs stepping under him and my seat giving a bigger bounce but with the same tempo. 
From there we worked on transitions, with the emphasis on thinking about the transition a few steps ahead.  For the up transitions, I kind of slip the reins (or push my hands forward) and so I had to really think about not pushing forward.  This confused Charlie (who is used to the release and the plunge downwards) so then I had to think "transition - transition" and give the aid twice.  Then I gave the aid too strong in too quick a succession so he lunged forward, but a lunging forward was a better response than a puking downward.
Then we worked on canter to walk transitions.  We started on a 20 meter circle, then did a 12 meter circle, then Beth would say "1-2-3" and I would think "halt" but we would "walk".  I thought these were pretty good because he almost came to a halt each time.
Beth said that the topline muscle exercises I'm doing are the correct exercises, but the reason we worked on these specific exercises were to ensure that I was practicing quality exercise to help develop the topline.  She said it naturally develops from the engagement.
Charlie's left lead canter was a little hoppy in his left stifle.  I could feel it and Beth could see it, so that is definitely something to watch.
I'm not doing the best job describing the lesson, but essentially, I was able to ride him rounder and with more activity coming from his hind end, and I could take that energy and channel it into being potential energy for an up or down transition instead of it leaking out the front.  This was by riding with more consistent contact, but also by using my aids (on-off) and using my core.  Beth said to pull my legs off his side, feel how deep my seat got, and to try to get that seat.
It was a really great and helpful lesson, and we were able to do most of it sitting too!

Home exercises and observation of other lessons with John

Nine horribly long days after stupidly riding Charlie on a road with big rocks (= stone bruise on right front foot - 7 days of epsom soaking and bute later - 1 horse show scratched (EI) - and this year's Montana dream crushed), I rode him for the first time today in a lesson with John.  Charlie was a dreamboat.
He then, extremely patiently, waited 5 hours while I watched John give 6 more lessons.  My takeaway?  I ride about as well as a beginner novice Pony Clubber (on a good day), I will never go Intermediate (he had a 6' spread and a show jump on the top of the standards!), and a lot of the "basics" that I hear from him apply to everyone.  I was blown away by the excellent position of the Pony Clubbers - none of them jumped ahead and they had lower legs locked in place.  I was jealous.
In my lesson, we worked on a series of different shapes and transitions.  John said it was work I could do at home, so I'm not just doing the same old 15 meter circle over and over.
We did 20 meter circles, deep into the corner and across the diaganol (on a short side), then 15 meter circles.  We did 10 meter circles, and then we did 10 meter half circles back onto the rail (so a 10 meter half circle between H and A, then back to the rail at B, then the lead change at first at M, but then later at C).  We did lengthenings in between on the long side or across the diaganol, and then did a 4 loop serpentine (in the small arena!) down the center line by alternating 10 meter half circles.
Charlie was an absolute champ.  He just went to work and popped around like it was no big deal without a single step off.  I feel guilty for the time in the trailer (John said next time to check with him and put him in a stall - which is good because that means I get to keep doing this!), so hopefully tomorrow he'll still be ok and today won't have been too much work.
The other great thing about the timing for watching the lessons was that I just read two of Jane Savoie's books over the weekend (while sulking about not being at EI because of my own stupid lack of common sense), and so it was really nice to be on the ground and watching and looking for some of the things she described in the book - especially the legs going out behind, which Asia had said but I did not understand until I saw the drawing in the book.
John has pony club lessons every other week February - September (?), and right now they do four lessons, from a teeny tiny adorable (but rascal) pony to the training level kids, one of whom is working on her first prelim horse.

Aspen derby

We had amazing weather (80!) and so I didn't warm Charlie up much so he wouldn't overheat.  Our first round, we had a disappointing rail down and run out, but it was actually quite good because:
1)  the course was far more technical than what we've been doing (fence 2 was a hard right to a long line to fence 3; fence 4 was several strides to an up bank/down bank which depending on where you jumped in and how you bent the line, was a 2 1/2 or 3 stride; then a downhill canter to a very hard right over a very big table, then a log one stride water, up bank out of the water, one stride, show jumping fence, hard left; but the one we had a rail down was a vertical show jump at an angle to a corner; then a hard left to a line with an oxer and vertical slightly off set.
The good news is that I could feel things coming up and had time to think.
The bad news is of course the rail down and run out despite that.
On the second round, we did better, but the second to last fence Charlie jumped in funny so I slid the reins, then couldn't get them back in time, so I pulled my elbows back and stood up over the last fence and then Charlie's right bell boot came sailing past over the top of our heads.  Charlie and I both looked at it and I yelled "woo!" as it passed us.
I'm pretty happy with it.  I could feel what I was doing and was thinking for myself while things were happening!  Not fast enough to fix them, but fast enough to feel them a stride or two out.  That's progress, I think.

Draw reins with John

I had a dressage lesson with John today and it was amazing.  I told him how Charlie felt all bouncy from the hock injections, but I never noticed it before.  He said it's because I never rode him engaged before, so I couldn't tell.  He said to feel for when it peaks, and then figure out how long it was between the injections and the peak, and then get his hocks injected that many weeks before a three day.
Then he explained the difference between a collected canter, and a working canter with some lift - he said even for advanced horses, a collected canter is very difficult to do.
The first eureka moment was when he told me how Charlie was tilting his head to the right (we were going left, counterclockwise) and said that when Charlie does that - i.e. when I can't see his jaw but only his eyelashes - to lift up with my left hand.  That straightens Charlie's face out and doesn't let him evade the bend.  But then he tries to evade other ways, so I have to keep my leg on and keep him going - I had to use the whip.
Then John put on the draw reins.  I haven't used draw reins sinceWillig, so there was an incredibly horrible period where I couldn't figure out how to get them in my left hand, but then I gripped like there was no tomorrow so we wouldn't have to go through that again.
It was AMAZING.  All of a sudden, Charlie's shoulders were lifted, and I didn't have to fight with him, and it was just divine.  We worked on 20 meter circles, 15 meter circles, 10 meter circles, leg yield, and trot and canter. Our first canter was like that eureka heavenly moment with Mike - the sky opened up and angels sang and I was just riding on a cloud on top of Charlie's back.  It was amazing.
At the 10 meter circle, Charlie tried to get out of work again, and so I had to sit tall, and then put my butt down on him, and then use my hips to swing him up and forward (and leg and whip, of course), but I had to really keep him going.
John said I can use the draw reins by myself sometimes, but not all the time, because I am extremely unlikely to ever ride with them too short (he had to keep telling me to shorten them - again - again - again), and that is their risk.
Charlie's butt was so sweaty afterwards!  Even though I sponged him off, when we got back to the barn, he had that caked on sweat look and needed to be curried.
John also showed me a ground exercise for Charlie's topline.  He said that Charlie has never been a muscley horse through the topline, and that he is on the skinny side right now.  He showed me how to squeeze just behind his hunter's bump and at the same time push up under his ribs.  He said to get him to round up, hold it a few seconds, and then let him relax.

Riding for Simpletons

That's basically the book I need.  Are you a nimrod with no common sense who doesn't think for herself?  Then this book is for you!
Seriously - today John had me jump the same oxer on a line to the vertical that we did on Friday, and then asked me why I jumped the oxer fine but was off for the vertical, and I was all "dunno", and he was like "Which leg did you use for the oxer?"  - Answer - right leg, because it was the outside leg (we turned left to get to it).  Then I was turning right after the vertical so which leg should I have used?  Answer - left leg - because the outside switched.  Guess which leg I was using?  Correct!  The right leg.  Because he told me to use it on the first fence, so I just kept using it.  Seriously - I want to hit myself.  And it never, ever would have crossed my mind if he hadn't asked me.
He said I have to start thinking about that, keeping Charlie between my legs and that means thinking about where I'm going and which leg I need to use.
Charlie was an absolute trooper.  After hauling down there Friday, then Saturday PC and Major Beale, then Sunday a long PC and Major Beale day, then I pulled him off the grass and hauled him down again, to work HARD.  He didn't seem stiff or sore or mad about working either.
Mostly I just asked John to answer all the questions I had with Major Beale.  John mostly agreed, although he characterized things in a different way, creating a new realization, which is that I trust John and am comfortable asking him dumb questions.  Like "why am I so dumb and not getting this?"
Which is actually a good question.  Because am I dumb and not getting it?  Have I been working on the same thing for the last three years?  There's an easy way to find out - read back in my own blog.  This one.
On the other hand, are my expectations wrong?  John pointed out he rarely gives me dressage lessons (in fact, he has given me exactly two I think), and so why in the world would I think I would know it perfectly?
He also said Charlie isn't a pulling horse, he's a lazy horse, so I have to use a lot of leg.  On a pulling horse, I'd have to use a lot of arm.
I asked him whether I shouldn't go to EI, whether I was a Triangle and didn't know it, why wasn't I getting it, and whether he hated teaching me because I was his dumbest, slowest student.  He said I might lose at EI and so what?  And I said worse, I might fall off, and he asked whether I had come anywhere close to falling off the last two lessons (no) so why would I even think that?
So the dumb common sense thing I hope gets corrected by Pony Club, because the learning the "why" behind the reasons (today John asked me why I kept the noseband so loose and I said "because Shannon told me to" and he said "what is it for?" and I was all "dunno.  To hold his mouth shut?" and thinking to myself "read the chapter on bridle fit, dummy"), and the thinking through the ride and explaining it - I think those two things will hopefully help me get off my reliance on other people kick.
Which was John's final takeaway - I said "yes, this is all well and good that I can ride when you are telling me at each step what to do, but I can't do it by myself" and John said that was the problem.  I have to figure it out for myself.  I have to pause, think back to my lesson, and then do the pieces one at a time by myself.  He said the most important thing is to GO.  Then after that, to half halt on the outside, but use my go aid.  Then to bend to the inside but know that he's going to bulge out to the outside, so use my outside half halt and go aid.  And just to think it through and put them together one at a time by myself.
It was interesting how he did say the same things as Major Beale, but in a different way, and it was easier for me to understand, and easier for me to think "ok, I can break it down in these steps and do this by myself" whereas with Major Beale, it just feels like magic that Charlie is doing amazing things with me on him, and then I am totally at a loss how to replicate it by myself.
So when I get up the nerve, I will look back at my blog entries and see if I am a moron and still working on the same old things.  I don't think I am, because two years ago I couldn't sit the trot, my main lesson was to keep my heels down, and to stop my hands from pulling back.  Now it is turning him from the outside so he doesn't bulge through the outside shoulder.
But it is still so, so hard to get the lift instead of the speed.  I don't know if that is core or hands that stops it.
Anyway, our lesson was to warm up on the circle, and then working on that same thing, where Charlie bends to the inside (sometimes first to the outside, then holding the connection to the outside, change his bend to the inside), then I use one leg at a time then both legs together to get him poofing up.  It is a lot of outside half halts, bend, and one leg or the other then both legs.  I am going to really buckle down and work on it.  John said that my leg was pretty sloppy when I got back from Belize, but that my jump lesson last Friday was pretty good and he was surprised because he hadn't seen me in a while and he thought I'd just puke around.  So there's that.
So we just jumped the two lines a few times, but mostly we worked on the circles trying to get Charlie round.  John showed me with his hands how hard it is to get Charlie to flex to the right (but he's stiff to the left on a circle) and how I have to get him to FLEX and then I release.  And he also showed me how the aids vary, a steady push, vs. a tap tap tap, vs. a tap tap tap down low and up high (the crop), and then just a spastic tapping with both, which is too much and Charlie tunes it out.  John thinks I get frustrated and just tap both at random and it doesn't make any sense to Charlie.  He said to make it as simple and clear as possible (hence the simpleton).
Also, the noseband is to keep his jaw from opening.  Since I don't jerk on Charlie's mouth, I can tighten it up a lot.  Shannon rode with it on 1, I ride with it on 2, and he put it on like 5!
As always, it was a tremendously helpful lesson.  I would just about give my right arm to be able to ride with John every day, but I guess then I wouldn't learn to do it myself.

Brutal ride with Major Beale

I can't tell if I'm the worst rider in the world or the dumbest rider, or some combination of the two.  I cried the whole way back to the barn from frustration with myself, and then I tried to convince myself it is just because I've never ridden 2nd level (and neither has Charlie) so we both are at the point where it stopped being easy and now we'll have to really work at it.  Then I convinced myself that was a way to stroke my ego and instead I should face the cold hard truth that I'm just not that good of a rider - I'm a Triangle - and poor Charlie has been toting me this whole time.
I can't tell.  I have no idea.
I feel like I am beating my head against a brick wall, and I'm not even sure it's the right brick wall, and I have absolutely no clue whether I beat it long enough if I will start to wear a hole in it and break through to the next level, or if I'm just giving myself a concussion.  How do you tell that?  How do you tell when you've gone as far as your particular talent is going to take you vs. working hard to improve?  And how do you tell what to work on if you've never been there before and have no idea where you're going?
What I heard Major Beale say was that where we ended today was better than where we started yesterday (agreed, something that happens with each ride with him) but he also said we had "regressed" since October.  That throws me into a frenzy.  Am I so bad I can't tell that?  Because I thought we were riding much better than in October.  And if I can't tell that, what else can't I tell?  The whole thing seems hopeless if I've gotten worse when I thought I was getting better.
Kevin came and videoed, and what I did not hear was the "good"s, which also makes me crazy.  I need to know what is good, what is bad, and how to improve what is bad.
We did essentially the same thing as yesterday, the 20 meter circle to a 12 meter circle, haunches to the outside, leg yield out to the 20 meter circle, then lengthen the trot or canter.  Then we did some shoulder-in.
He says we both need to work harder, and Charlie doesn't need a lot of warm up but needs to be "jazzed up" because he's lazy.

Pony Club & Working Harder

Two lessons today - the first with Asia for Pony Club.  She suggested that I do more half halts.  She said Charlie has plenty of movement, but he is letting his legs go out behind him instead of coming up under him.  To do a trot to halt transition, begin thinking about it for five strides (sit up, shoulder blades together) and then stop the movement on the 5th stride.  I got several perfect halts, but then ended on a few pukey ones.  I have to think about sitting up and pinching my shoulder blades together.  Then at the canter, I bend at the waist, so I need to try to keep my waist as one solid element.  Over fences, she said it is much harder to ride an 18" fence (in theory, than a 4' fence), and to ride in and half halt multiple times on the way in.  A half halt from a two point is a very, very weird feeling.  It is essentially just tightening your core (like a corset was around it) which sounds simple but seems to throw me off balance when I'm in a two point.  I like to curve and tuck my pelvis under instead, which is the wrong thing to do.  It was a really great lesson, and I really enjoyed working with her.

Then Charlie got in the trailer and we drove to Major Beale, where the short take away is we aren't working anywhere near hard enough - either one of us.  It was pretty discouraging.  It feels like we've made so much progress in so many places, but I cannot seem to "get" how to make Charlie engage behind and have impulsion and round over his topline.  I can feel it when it's there - it feels like his shoulders are lifted and I'm sitting on a pillow, like I can do anything with him at any second; but I can't make it be there on my own.
He got a lunge whip, and stood in the center and essentially lunged Charlie with the whip to make him forward while I rode him.  Charlie needs to march at the walk.  I don't need to use my legs 100 times, but should do a whack-whack-whack or a SMACK with the whip (not a hit every step).  He needs to be connected and poised to do anything - halt, trot, or canter.  If he isn't, he isn't forward enough.
Then at the trot, we worked on circles - first 20 meter at the trot, then 12 meter at the trot (10 is too small).  There, the big issue is bending him to the inside, but not letting him bulge through the outside.  It is giving and releasing with both hands, but each reacting to Charlie, so maybe both together or maybe not.
Same as John - Major Beale had us bend to the outside, then Charlie's shoulder would come up under him, and then bend back to the inside.
Then we worked on a smaller circle, and then trot to halt transitions.  For these, he has to be round and working and then I use my leg to push him forward, then stop moving my hips for the halt.  If he isn't round, he just pukes into it.  Major Beale's preferred way to get him round was to work on a circle bent to the inside, then push his haunches to the outside, then go bigger, then halt.  It was much easier to do to the right; I could feel it, but could hardly feel it to the left.
At the canter, it was some forward back and not as much bend, and NOT the up and down carousel horse (I don't know why not).  
Charlie was his usual sweet self, working his heart out even though he's lazy (I don't get it) and had already been ridden once and late last night.  Major Beale said I have got to toughen up and expect more out of him.  He told me that he has to spend 15 minutes doing the trot circles and bending each direction for his wife's 3rd level horse, and about some guy who couldn't go cross country but Major Beale always won on his horse.  I think the point is that it's mental, but I know that, and I need to know how to get over myself.  I'm clearly the hold up and not getting it, but I'm so not getting it I'm not sure why not. 
It was a great lesson, but frustrating.  I am ready to be done with this phase and working on the next thing.  I feel like I'm trapped in beginner-land and will be stuck here forever.
MB said we should NOT be sitting because Charlie isn't coming over his topline so his back isn't round and lifted.

Jumping with John - outside on a Friday April evening!

We had divine spring weather today, so although I had to tear like a bat out of hell to get to John's by 6:15 (he wanted to start at 6), it was worth it.
We started on a 20 meter and 15 meter circle around a fence, and John worked on the same attempt to get Charlie round and forward as in our last lessons, but Charlie was like riding a hunk of wood today.  We worked for a while to the left, and when we switched and went right, he felt a little off to me.  John didn't say anything, but I want to watch that because we have a jam-packed weekend.
This was to bend him - either way, outside or inside - then to keep the contact and move him forward.  Half halt, then move forward again.  Sounds simple, but it is crazy hard to separate my legs and hands and use them independently, let alone at the right time.  When I got it right, I could feel the balance and lift in Charlie's shoulders, but it was pretty hard to do today and would have been entirely impossible on my own.
We had some really lousy down transitions from canter to trot, and I had to use the whip quite a bit.  I got really clingy with my right leg, and John had to keep telling me to put that heel down.
This is definitely where I need more help, because although I've worked on it now a few times with John, I don't think to do a lot of the movements myself, and I can't always match them with a change in Charlie's feeling right away, like on some of the easier stuff.
After that, we jumped - a couple times over a cross rail and vertical, then we did a short course which was a 5 stride angled line oxer to vertical, right hand turn, 5 stride bending line oxer to vertical, left hand turn, roll top. 
John said that I am using my rein (inside rein, mostly right one) too much to turn, instead of using outside leg and outside rein.  And Charlie was very reluctant to bend either way, like a stiff board that didn't want to go forward.  It wasn't our greatest day.
Charlie was NOT getting his leads, but he did, at least twice, correct it with only the littlest aid from me, so that was pretty cool.  Maybe his back is getting a little stronger?
We have Pony Club jump lesson tomorrow, then Major Beale, then Pony Club D2/D3 rating on Sunday morning, then Major Beale, then John again Monday night.  Then a week off.
I'm hoping he isn't lame, and it isn't my fault for the conditioning.  We are up to 6 trot/1 walk/6 canter/2 walk/2 canter (450 mpm)/2 walk/6 trot/1 walk/6 canter, and he was really huffing and puffing in the gallop work (with one fence) last week.  I think part of it is the preference for the right canter lead - he'll go around at a horrible cross firing gallop instead of just fixing it.

Beth - moving forward with the motion

I had a dual session/lesson with Beth yesterday, which was very useful.  Indoors, we worked on re-engaging the lower core (I have been compensating by rounding my upper back), and then separating the core from my legs, by doing egg beaters and leg circles (egg beaters are tracing the letter "D" with your knees).  Then we worked on the ball, on forward and back with the hips, but watching in a mirror to see where my back engages.  I need to keep focusing on little movements until my core gets strong again because I have been "cheating" at the movements, particularly, the plank roll up.  It is more rounded back, then weight over your elbows as you walk out.  I had to do these on my knees, unlike last time, because I wasn't strong enough to do them on my toes anymore.
On Charlie, we worked on moving from the hip joint - not the waist.  To prevent the forward/back in the belly, I can put one hand on my lower back or my "caliper" fingers on my rib/hip length to make sure it isn't changing.  It also helps to think of the "isotoner" - that I have a corset around my waist that is tightening.
Then we worked on controlling Charlie's speed from only my hips - making HIM follow ME instead of the other way around.  I could slow his walk down a lot, and Beth said that is a really good exercise for his core, because it takes a lot of balance for him to go slow.  I have less control over the trot, because I tend to get floppy after not much time, but I think that is practice.  This is to try to get the bouncing basketball feeling in the trot (energy cycling from his hind legs forward) instead of the driving onto the forehand (reverse energy cycle). 
Last but not least, I also need to be careful about rounding my shoulders and being behind the vertical.  I get a little behind and then don't move forward when I ask for the forward aid.  If I think of keeping my upper body on a track with his shoulders, it improves things considerably.
Beth noted that both Charlie and I need to work on the same muscles, which helped me appreciate why this has been so difficult.  Unlike the prior things we've worked on, now we're both working on it together.  It helps that Charlie is so incredibly responsive, so that I can feel when I do it right instead of guessing blindly. 

2nd dressage lesson with John - outside rein

Today was another eureka moment - my second with John (the first was when I looked down and realized that yes, indeed, before each fence I *was* pulling back on the reins).  Today's was the significance of outside rein and outside shoulder on a circle.
I haven't seen John in a few weeks, and I had two derbies at Aspen where I could feel the problem, but couldn't tell how to fix it, and I know it has to do with a bigger canter, so I brought my dressage saddle instead of my jump saddle to follow up on the last lesson.
We worked mostly on the circle, and it was still a bit out of my grasp, but I got it much better this time than last time.
First, my questions:
- Do not condition in the sloppy footing.  Work harder and for longer periods inside instead.  So do 6 minutes of canter work without a break, and do harder canter work than I would normally do, like 15 meter circles to a lengthening.  It won't help with the gallop work, but it is better than risking injury.
- To strengthen Charlie's back, more forward/back work is better, and then do short, elevated trot poles, like 3' maximum each, not just the trot/canter elevated poles.
- If I have the wrong lead in show jumping, and I only get half the change, then trot the first few steps of the turn, so I can come out of the turn on the correct lead.  Work at home on the simple changes (simple = canter, trot, canter) so Charlie knows he has to do it within three steps.
- John wants Charlie to be a bit more up and forward for show jumping canter than dressage canter.  So Charlie's dressage canter will have a bit more flexion (head down), but his show jumping canter will give him a bit more lift in his head to look at the fence. 
Ok, so we worked on the sitting trot on a circle, and what John had me do was moving Charlie's shoulders, so that he knows he can do it.  I would lift the inside hand to get him to stop twisting his head left; I would do a half halt ONLY with the outside hand, and I would ride the down transition from canter to trot with my reins a bit higher, instead of dropping them onto his withers.  I would also use my outside leg a little forward (up closer to the girth) and going to the right (clockwise) I would do some haunches in and then bend him to the right.  Bending him to the right was much harder than the left (surprisingly).
If Charlie started to hang on my hands, then I would ask for the half halt with my outside hand, and if he ignored it, then I would counterflex him to the outside.  This would make his inside shoulder pop up, so then I would go back to normal flexion.
When I half halted, it is very important when he gives, to then release the half halt. 
If he gets tight in his jaw, I can also give for a second and then take back.
I could, about half way through, suddenly feel his right rein, which I didn't realize I couldn't feel until I felt it.
I could also - eureka - feel that he would move out through his outside shoulder (if we were going right, he would move out through his left shoulder) instead of bending around me.
The hoppity at the canter is an attempt not to use his inside hind leg (usually going to the left, I think), and I think I give with the inside hand.
I can also, with the canter, open my inside hand, so that he can move his shoulder to the inside.
I still need a lot of work, but with John coaching each movement (i.e. sit deeper, use your inside hip, lift your inside hand, put your outside leg on), I could get Charlie centered and balanced.
What is amazing is how much John knows and how he knows how to tell you what to do when to get a specific result.  And not just that, but how to make it adjust - i.e. the difference between a show jump canter and a dressage canter and why.  And that he could walk me through the steps so that I could make it happen and feel it.  I definitely couldn't do it by myself yet, but now I know that I can do it, and with enough time with John, I'll be able to do it by myself, and even better, know when to use the tool and why.
It was great.  I am really looking forward to working on it.  I feel like just one lesson with John jumps me like a year ahead.  Looking back at the last three years, first - no wonder Charlie is reluctant to change - he's had three years of blowing out through his shoulder and not having to use his hind end.  Why would he think we're suddenly doing it differently?  But second, how much progress I've made as a rider.  Charlie is my golden ticket to figure out how to get a horse round and forward because he's making me learn it and work for it, but while being generous, willing, and responsive. I have to ask, but once I ask, he gives.
I am so, so lucky to have Charlie and be able to work with John.

Aspen Farm Ride & Review - Training Dressage and Jump

Our first outing this year was a brilliant, warm, sunny March day.  Charlie got sweaty!
Both my dressage test (Training B) and the jump round had the same suggestion as John - canter is too flat, and needs to have more jump (be bigger).
The dressage ride and review (which, by the way, we got a 9 on the first movement and our first 8 on the collective marks!!) suggested that I try 4 strides lengthen, 4 strides collect, 4 strides lengthen, 4 strides collect, to get Charlie better balanced and more attentive.  It actually seemed to work pretty well.
The 15 meter - 20 meter lengthen circles felt flat and angled (like a motorcycle taking a turn), and his stretchy trot circle wasn't stretchy enough, but other than that, it actually felt like a decent test.  Especially because I haven't ridden it since last August!
I didn't warm him up much for jumping because I didn't want to wear him out, so we ended up doing the cross rail, two verticals, one oxer, waiting a few minutes, then doing the two rounds back to back.  The good news is that the jumps weren't overwhelming intimidating.  The bad news is we got a rail down in the combination in the first round, then a rail down and the skinny down in the second round.  The good news in the bad news is I could feel them coming!!!
Jonathan said his canter isn't big enough, that I need to rev it up in the opening circle and down the long sides and in the big spaces - and the same sort of back and forth.  He also said I'm slipping my reins, so I need to try to keep the same length or get them back for the second half.  Charlie just crashed through the skinny in the second round - he didn't even try - but I had him at the wrong spot, shooting at it, and at an angle.  He did do a nice recovery though for the up and down bank.  I was pretty happy with it.
Charlie is such a good guy.
Dogs did well too.
I had a wicked head cold and wasn't sure if I was even going to go - my head was so stuffed I was dizzy when I got up.

Follow up lesson with John - an 8 meter circle!

I had my first weekly weeknight lesson with John in my attempt to get more consistent with my lessons.  It worked really well.  I left work at 3:45, had the tack already in the trailer, and got there at 5:45 and on by 6.  I was off by 7 and home by 8:30, which was just enough time to groom Charlie and park the trailer.  5 more minutes and I could have unloaded the trailer too.
It will be a bit less pleasant on a rainy day (in the dark) but it's doable.

This was my first dressage lesson with John and it was great.  John's style of communication works really well for me.  He's good at describing what Charlie is doing, and precisely how to correct it.  He can not only watch Charlie, but he also watches what I'm doing, and makes the adjustments to me as well. 

We started working on a circle, and then a 10 meter circle (precisely) and then a 10 meter circle at the sitting trot.  The reason to be precise on the dimensions of the circle is so I can feel when Charlie is avoiding - if he is bulging his shoulders out (or in), the circle loses its shape. 

This lesson, like the last one, is still in the gray realm where I can do it while John is talking - and as he describes what is happening, I can begin to associate the feel with what he's describing - but is still a bit out of my grasp to articulate afterwards.

He told me there's two things I need to work on, and I think it was to do a better job with my lower leg contact - "on-off-on-off" when I need it, not "on-squeeze harder-lift heel", and to experiment.  Even if I can't feel that Charlie is stiff in his right jaw, don't just putz around in a circle but try flexing him to the outside for a step or two and see what happens.  He said that the first two days he rode Charlie, he was stubborn, but then he became pliable again.  It's kind of a miracle it only took to the third day with how long Charlie has been able to get away with things with me.

We worked on 10 meter circles, 15 meter circles, and even some 8 meter circles towards the end.  John got spring in Charlie's step, and he also worked on getting him to bend around my leg.  I had to lift my left hand and then use my right leg (going left) NEXT TO THE GIRTH (this part took me a while to catch on to) to - at the trot - get Charlie's right leg to cross over his left (front) leg and start to get that bend.  Charlie is VERY good at acting like he's doing the motion, but evading.  He'll try almost everything he can to avoid actually engaging his back.

It will be interesting to see when his new saddle arrives if that is because he's been working for so long with a saddle that makes his lower ribs hurt, or if it's a long-standing habit and he's never going to have the light bulb go off that he can lift up without it hurting.  I certainly haven't helped him much up to this point, but now the light bulb has gone off for me.

John had me constantly adjusting, and this is the part I can't feel yet.  John could instantly see when Charlie's shoulder would bulge out (or in), or when he'd tilt his head instead of bending, and he'd have me lift a hand, use an inside leg, use an outside leg, use both legs, or use the whip.  It will be SO cool when I can feel that too.

So we did 10 meter trot circles, and then circles around the ring at different spots.  Then we flexed to the outside with a bit of haunches to the outside on a slightly smaller circle, then would go back to normal bend and get some extra oomph.  Then we did canter 10 meter circles, and the same flexion to the outside (but without the legs crossing over in front).  Then we did 8 meter trot circles out to 15 meter circles, and canter on the 15 meter circle.

The art was in the adjustments in between.  John would tell me, for example, to use my inside rein, and then Charlie's shoulder would lift and we could get the springy balanced trot.  But until John would say that I needed to use the outside rein, I wouldn't feel how Charlie was bulging in the shoulder (or leaning on the rein, diving down on the forehand, etc.).

At the end of the lesson, Charlie had a steam wall coming off of him, and I was amazed at how well he did.  It's probably because John just rode him for two weeks, but it was great for me to feel how well he moved and try to get that locked into my muscle memory.  Fingers crossed for many more great lessons.

Also, John noted that my lower leg isn't really that bad once Charlie is going - it's just that tug of war to get him going where I keep squeezing tighter and lifting my heel that is doing me in.  He said Charlie needs to get more responsive to the aids - when I squeeze both legs, he should be surging forward.  It made me feel a lot better.  I've been so worried that I'm ruining Charlie (for so long) that I'm timid about trying new things or using stronger aids (like using my right rein).  This was - like most of my jump lessons have been - very confidence building to trust myself a little more and to ask more of Charlie.  If I wasn't so tired, this post would probably rave on and on and on about how great this lesson felt, even though it was still over my head.  I'm just happy to be continuing to progress and not to have hit as best as I'm going to get yet.

Two weeks with John

Charlie spent two weeks with John while we were on our honeymoon.  John said Charlie doesn't have enough muscle on his topline for the flying changes yet, which was incredibly useful to know (and the same thing - in a way - that Major Beale said).  John also said that he got his right side soft, that he jumps better from that bigger canter, and that we need to improve the puking transitions from canter to trot (what Beth had us work on last time!).
So we worked on the flat on the proper feel for when Charlie is using his back, but honestly, it's a bit out of my grasp.  It is having him connected, and moving forward, but forward first.  John said the lower leg position over fences that I asked him about - after reading too many George Morris jumping clinics in a row on the plane - is because I'm trying to get Charlie to go forward.  It's an incredibly consistent - but improper - lower leg, and I got horrified that I was the worst rider ever and would get one of those "you shouldn't be jumping" critiques if we sent in my photo.
So the exercise to work on at home is canter - trot - lengthen.  Trot should be the same speed as canter, not slowing down.
And then the other exercises are getting his jaw to soften - by flexing to the outside and then squeezes - and once it does, then using both legs to move him forward, in both directions.  That sounds like a simple exercise, but I couldn't totally feel when his jaw softened, which is why poor Charlie has gotten away with it.  It also made Charlie work much harder, so the 30-45 minutes of work was way more "efficient" (for conditioning) than the work I do with him at home (where he hardly breaks a sweat).
It was really, really useful, and it was also helpful to have the time off to reprioritize.  My schedule is so jam packed I wouldn't be able to see John again until March 21 (assuming he's free) so I'm going to try to take evening lessons every Thursday - alternating jumping and flat.