A spread, some serpentines, and an angle

I started today's jump lesson like I'd never been on a horse in my life, or even seen someone ride one on tv. It was excruciating. My body refused to do all of the things I was telling it to, but also refused to default to - ok, nowhere near perfect, but at least riding - behavior. My right seat bone was jabbing into the saddle, and I have no idea what messed up body thing is going on that causes that. Shannon had me jump a teeny cross rail several times without stirrups, first at the trot (if I had been a watcher on the ground, I would have had to shut my eyes because it was so hideous to look at) and then at the canter (a little better, but still close to making eyes bleed). Even without stirrups, my feet wanted to squish into Charlie's sides and I'd be behind, ahead, sideways - any way but just in balance with him. I was about ready to give up - throw in the helmet and just confess that I'd managed to fake my way this far in life and it'd finally caught up with me. So Shannon walked off and was messing around with the fences - although someone had changed them from last week to little intro level, I assumed she was going to have to make them even easier after my spectacle. Instead, she fixed the distance a bit on what I thought was a 3 stride, and changed its direction, turning the second fence from a vertical into an oxer with about a 3' spread. Then she had us ride two little courses - and lo and behold, all that work we've done on the distances, and riding up close to the fence, has had an effect! It went pretty smooth - with me being able to trust that we could fit in one more stride and not launching Charlie from way out. Then we did it again, but with a tight turn to an angle, and so I rode the first fence, the tight turn, and the angle at a more "collected" (pulled together) canter, then went back to the normal, bigger canter for the last couple fences. And again, we did it! So it's the same old same old - keep working on even hands, not bending Charlie to the right, not digging in with my heels, keeping the rhythm even. But the big difference from when I jumped by myself last week was to get him out in front of me - responsive and light to the aids with a bigger canter than I would pick, and then I could slow him down or lengthen him out, but I had him adjustable instead of sluggish. And - a tiny glimmer of hope of progress. I am learning some of this stuff, even if I'm slow. Then we finally had a chance to watch my DVDs from the first two shows together, and other than my doofus moments that even I can clearly see, Shannon pointed out that I have a few chippers on the cross country fences, and that she's done that too, and when she does it, it's looking down at the fence instead of up and out at the next fence. So that's another one to keep in mind - making sure I don't stare down the fences just because they're big and solid and impressive looking.

A 3/4 empty glass; or 1/4 full

Today's lesson was a big slice of humble pie. I struggled at the start with getting Charlie moving forward off my leg, and then gradually, everything else slowly fell apart. My right hand was pulling back, my left hand was twisting, my right heel was scrunching up and digging into his side, my left leg wouldn't stop twitching, and it just went on and on - it was like I couldn't think of more than one part of my body at a time, and the parts that were habits couldn't remember what to do without my brain actively focusing on them. Shannon's message was: one squeeze. If Charlie blows me off, he gets a tap with the whip. If he blows that off, he gets a belt. Then when he moves forward, he gets a pat. So the big obstacles seemed to be my right hand pulling - it never really gives, so Charlie gets tense and stiff on his right side. So I need to think about making sure that it softens when Charlie softens to it. And then my left hand (mostly, but my right hand too), keeping my fingers closed. Every single time my brain stops focusing on them for a second, blammo, they open up again. Keeping my hands steady and even. Push Charlie forward and then softly stop with my hands. And nice forward into the transitions - don't have that moment of "hanging" that I tend to do. And legs long - no heels in Charlie's side. Now, here's the slightly more sophisticated version from last year. My heels don't need to be in Charlie's side when I get him light and responsive off my leg aids. So the real trick right now seems to be me learning how to do that. I suspect that I have bumbled my way through 1st level, and that if I went and looked at the training pyramid, I would realize that I never did the ground level foundation, and that's why 2nd level is like hitting a wall going full speed. I think that what I need is to go back and learn how to get him light and responsive off my leg - get better control over all four of the basics (right & left hand & leg) - and then 2nd level will just flow. After that excruciating start, we did some shoulder-in and haunches-in, and once again, it was pretty much like I'd never even been on a horse before. Shoulder-in steps are: 1) perfectly straight; 2) moving forward with impulsion and on the bit; 3) then inside leg on; 4) then hands move TOGETHER to the inside, like making a circle; 5) then outside leg keeps him from moving his shoulders back to the rail. Legs on shoulder-in are kind of like the canter aid, but with hands moving together on his neck to the inside. Haunches-in is more natural for me. And turn on the haunches is haunches in, and then turn towards the haunches - so sort of like he's making a C and his nose is going to touch his haunches - turning towards the haunches. After we did that, Charlie got much more responsive and light - just like the last lesson, although I am so behind the 8 ball at this point that I have no idea what I was doing or why it made him responsive - I was just glad to feel it. I have to say - if I'm barely firing on 1 cylinder, I am grateful to all those horses in my life who have put up with my lousy riding up until this point. And to trainers who have had to stand there and watch me suffer through a lesson. The positive side is if I've enjoyed riding this much on not even 1 cylinder, man, I'm going to love it when I really learn how to ride. It's going to be spectacular. And it's got to be pretty much just improvement from here. It doesn't feel like I could go much lower and even sit on a horse at this point.

Shoulder-in is NOT the same thing as leg yield

If I had any pride left associated with my ability to ride, I'd have to swallow it after the humiliating lesson I had today. Ok, so first, I realized dimly that the reason that Charlie has been a bit harder to ride is because Shannon has been really busy, so I'm doing most of the riding. And so Charlie is like a living, breathing exhibit of all of my riding flaws right now. I ride crooked, I pound on his poor sides with my legs, and I scrunch up trying to get him to go. So: #1 - One forward aid. If he doesn't respond, it is the aid with the whip. No more kicking, begging, pleading. And no scrunching up my heel into his side - ride with elegant, long draped legs that have contact, but don't squeeze every stride, and definitely no heels lifting up. #2 - Watch my crooked hands. When we're going left, I should see his left eyelashes. For the right, right eyelashes. No more sloppiness on my end here! To help with this - when we're going left (counterclockwise), my right hand is the outside hand. It stays steady and I ask for the bend and flexion with my left leg and left hand, respectively. Always, I ask for collection and contact with both hands. And it is give and release, give and release. Don't forget the release. Riding on the #3 notch on the reins is about right, but my left hand opens and my right hand pulls back, so I have got to keep a careful eye on them and keep them even - in space and in the amount I pull. #3 - I let Charlie ride kind of heavy, pulling down on the forehand and bracing with his mouth. It took Shannon many, many minutes and a lot of different exercises to get him light in my hands. (The good news is, even though she had to stand there repeating herself like a broken record, eventually I did it. So I can do it - I'm not a limp rag up there completely.) This is hard for me to feel because Charlie is already so light (so pulling and bracing feel light to me), but after a few laps with him carrying himself, I was like, "oh." This took asking him to transition, spiraling in and out, and getting my hands and aids consistent. #4 - Transitions when I ask for them. Not 5 or 10 steps later. Walk to trot to walk should be CRISP! Then, I told her I was working on the 2-1 movements, but suspected I wasn't doing them right. I said the turn on the haunches felt awkward. This led to the realization that I don't know how to do shoulder-in and haunches-in. Shannon said, "Ride him in a straight line and then do haunches in" so I did, and she said "Not leg yield! Haunches in!" so I went the other way, and she said "Not leg yield! Haunches in!" and by the third try she said "Show me haunches in." So no wonder haunches in and shoulder-in have seemed so easy - I just leg yield down the long side and call it shoulder-in or haunches-in. This was great to learn (and quickly filled up my head) but excruciating. Ok, I've never been officially taught 2nd level, but why in the world would I think that the movement was just leg yield on the long side? Obviously, I can't underestimate myself. So a shoulder-in and haunches-in are his body straight, and, for haunches-in, a canter aid position leg placement. It's three tracks, but three tracks with only one part of his body moved (butt or shoulders), not his whole body at an angle like in leg yield. A shoulder-in is easier because you think about being about to ride a circle to the inside. To do a turn on the haunches, you ride straight, power-up like a piaffe, do a haunches in, then turn. So the haunches in sets him up for his hind leg to cross. Now I will re-read the dressage books and see if something "clicks". I always wondered why they said shoulder-in should be like the start of a circle and now it's clear.

New shoe for Willig

Let's hope this is his glass slipper and he turns into a sound fairy princess. Today he got a silicone pad and silicone under his orthotic shoe.

We jumped training level height(ish) again!!

Today in my jump lesson, we worked more on keeping the even rhythm, keeping Charlie in front of my leg (this means having "go" when I use a leg aid), and waiting for that spot - retraining my eye on how close we can get. Shannon inched the fence higher and higher until it was training level height, and it is just AMAZING to jump on Charlie! Even if I was sometimes floppy and ugly, he is so smooth over the fence, and training level is just a blast because you're actually finally jumping and flying. This was a great lesson, and cemented for me that I need to continue to work on retraining my eye and cementing some new habits, but that I understand the basics and just need the hours of practice to get them as habit and not something I have to think about. The big lesson, I think, that is an overlap between lessons and among lessons is getting Charlie responsive. I will kick and kick and kick and scrunch up instead of giving one aid and he better respect it. So that is my #1 goal right now - why do I have a hard time with that, and making sure I don't do it when I ride. My mom is in town and afterwards, I made her walk out and stand next to the fence and admire how big it was. I was very proud.

Poof on Charlie!

Today Mike worked with me on the foundation for the second level movements. He noted that one of the judge's notes was very correct, I tend to allow Charlie's reins to get longer and longer, allowing him to stretch out and eventually fall onto his forehand. We used that to continue our work on Charlie being quick and responsive to the aids (collect/lengthen/collect/lengthen, and to do it very promptly off my aid) and focusing a bit more on not letting the reins slither out (or my heels slither up). Mike also had me tighten my abs at the walk, sitting tall, even, quiet, and elegant, and that made an immediate difference in the "poof" in his shoulders - it lightened him instantly. Until I asked for a transition and threw my hands away. So, oddly, every time I ask for an up transition, I let go of the reins. There isn't a lot to say, but there is tons to work on. It is SO COOL to be able to ride Charlie off of my seat, and while I still have the same things to work on, I really feel like we've made some good progress. Once again, I just need some time to practice it the new way to start to make it a habit. Have I mentioned I looovveeee Charlie? He's a darling, and so patient with me.

Charlie's second 1-3 ride

Me & C thinking; C being handsome

Charlie's 1-3 ride at Dressage in the Park

Revving up the engine

I believe that my next big riding hurdle is to learn how to rev the back engine. I can't ignore the symptoms anymore - when I rode Charlie while Shannon was on vacation, when I rode George while Mike was on vacation, whenever I ride Willig, and this week, when I rode Charlie all week - he was sputtery and slow by the end of the week. It is pretty easy to get the nice movements when I have the engine revved up, but I'm not very good (and maybe that's even being generous to myself) about getting it revved. I started my lesson with Shannon showing her test 1-3, and what I thought was wrong with it (at the canter, his nose was going up in the air, but if I tried to get him on the bit, he'd do a down transition to a trot). And the cause was, as you probably guessed, the sputtering. The way we worked on it was lots of transitions. Halt to canter back to halt to trot, and then lengthening and collecting within the gaits. My instructions before the show today were to do about 5 minutes of loose rein walking and bending, and then the big, confident, assertive transitions to get the engine going for less than 30 minutes. Which we did. And had a nice ride. But this is still a bit out of my grasp, so I am going to need to think more and talk more and ride more on it in my lessons - I think it's a very deep habit that's going to take some real effort to change, but I think it's my next big step to get to the next level of riding.

Handsome, Goofy, and Wet Charlie

4, 5, and 6 strides on a bending line

I thought today was going to be a dud lesson because I've been in a snit and I assumed that meant I'd be difficult and not very receptive. Instead, much to my surprise, it was one of those lessons where I could hardly keep up I was learning so much. Here's the top takeaways: #1 - Ride him forward into the down transition. I was watching Shannon do this at her clinic last weekend, and I started to suspect that I haven't been doing this right. Just like with most things Charlie, it helps me enormously to watch Shannon riding him because I see things that I am doing wrong without realizing it. I think it was the last clinic when I realized she really almost never uses her hands (at least, compared to me) and when I ride him with my seat, he understands better and is far more responsive. So I've been trying to down transitions with my seat only (no pulling back on the reins) and we go down, but we also kind of plummet onto the forehand instead of rocking back onto the hind legs. And this one was one of those slap the forehead it's so obvious lessons - use leg at the same time. Halt the forward momentum with the seat, but use the leg to keep the impulsion and eureka - a nice down transition. Like with everything, it's simple, but going to take some practice to recalibrate the way I've been riding. #2 - Turn from the outside rein. Seriously, how many times do I have to keep being reminded of this? It's sooooo much easier to approach a fence when I turn from the outside rein, but the second I don't think about it, I turn with the inside hand. Use outside rein, outside leg. #3 - Slowing down cross country for the next show. We'll find a nice, long flat stretch and I'll go slower there on purpose. My rhythm was consistent, just a hair too fast at Aspen, so if I just use one flat stretch to go a bit slower, I should hit it just about right. Instead of trying to take my nice consistent 1-2-3-4 and go oonneee-ttwwooo-thhhreeee-foooourr and risk going too slow. #4 - Ok, the exercise for today. To help me spot the distance (something I used to be able to do), first we rode a cross rail with the poles spaced close and rode in on a tiny "piroutte" canter. We did this fine - it was just like our 10 meter circle dressage work only going over a fence. Then Shannon turned it into a bendy line that was a 5 stride. So first we rode it at 5, then shortened the canter to ride it at 6, then rode 5 again, then lengthened for 4, then 5 again. But it took me approximately a million times to get the 6. The 4 I can do no problem. The 5 I do inconsistently (sometimes we launch). But the 6 felt like we were standing still on a merry-go-round (just going up/down/up/down in the canter) and it would still be a 5. Most of this was **the take off spot looks way too close to the fence to me**. So we'd be coming in tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny and I'd think "oh, lord, we're going to go straight through the fence" and launch him from the tiny canter instead of waiting to get to the spot. And then second, it takes me a long time (2 strides) to sit back up and half halt him after we land. I need to get much, much faster at that. Once I finally got the spot a few times, it turns out it's much, much closer than I thought it was - especially on the tiny canter. So it was a really good "feel" test for how off my spot perception was. And it was a great example of how easily I launch (the 4 felt smooth) and how hard it is for me to collect (not Charlie, he was a champ, like always). So it was really good to get it in my head how close we can get and how I can ride right up to the base of the jump - something we'll need to continue to work on, but is step 1 in getting that readjusted in my head. Have I mentioned I love Charlie? Shannon was right a year or two ago - at 36 and not actually all that experienced, a horse like Charlie is what I needed - not a Willig.

Same old, same old; I'm inconsistent

Last week I had the brilliant dressage lesson. We shone like the sun. Today, it was like my entire body was stuck in something sticky. I don't know what makes the difference between the days when I can pull it together and the days I can't, and that drives me crazy. I can't fix it or improve it if I can't at least label what's not working right.

Charlie is AWESOME; I need some work

Our results at Aspen: Dressage - 32.0 (2nd place) Show Jumping - 4 faults (one rail down on fence 2) (6th place) Cross country - 2.8 time faults (too fast) Final - 6th place out of 19; 38.8 1st place for BN rider was 35.0 Our results at NWEC Spring Classic (which I think I forgot to post); Dressage - 26.5 (1st place) Cross country - 3.2 time faults (too fast) (still 1st) Show jumping - 4 faults (final rail down) (2nd place) Final - 2nd place out of 21; 33.7 1st place for BN rider was 31.8 Charlie was awesome, and my goal had been to improve a little bit on each of the three phases - get a slightly better dressage score, go clean in stadium, and get no time penalties in cross country. While I did slow cross country down, I didn't ride any better in show jumping, and in dressage, the razor thin edge between being brilliant in the moment nerves and freezing up nerves slipped into the freezing up side. I lost my left stirrup twice - just before I went into dressage and again after the 2nd fence in show jumping (at NWEC, I lost it over the second cross country fence, so hopefully that is my symmetry for the season and I'm done losing my left stirrup). Although the first walk of the xc course was kind of intimidating, it rode like a charm - thanks to Charlie, who was, once again, a total champ. I felt like my riding (other than dressage) was maybe a micropoint better, but I'm still making dumb mistakes that are messing up a nice blue ribbon. At least this time my pants didn't rip.

Charlie show jumping at Aspen

Charlie's Dressage Test at Aspen

Working on 1-3 with Charlie

Today we had one of those lessons where even though it was in the 50s, by the time I got done, my hair was soaking wet in my helmet. i.e., a success. Other than a few little bobbles, BN-A was fine - I made the same mistake I did in the show and hesitated in the trot to walk transition instead of committing, and I could have slightly improved the right trot to canter transition, but other than that it was rock solid and consistent and smooth. So fingers crossed for tomorrow. For 1-3, we worked on improving the individual movements. We started with some respectful transitions. Charlie was blowing me off just a tiny bit, so we did some walk-canter-walk transitions, and he got a smack with the whip if I gave the aid and he ignored it. After a frustrating 5 minutes or so, I realized it was easier if I smacked him just before he did whatever the bad thing was (blew me off, or down transition before I asked for it) and lo and behold everything went much more smoothly from that point forward. I can't feel them coming 100% of the time, but I can do something about it when I do feel them coming. This helped us with lengthening and then with the collection back to regular canter at the end of lengthening. We'd do a lengthening on the long side, a 20 meter circle where I'd collect him back up, and then either a down transition or another lengthening. Once Charlie caught on to what I wanted (and that it varied), he paid attention instead of "guessing" and offering what was supposed to come next. We also worked on the simple serpentine. I RIDE it (ride being the operative word there, instead of just pointing him in the direction I want him to go), with my inside leg forward, a soft seat, and just a touch on the forehand, so that he doesn't try to offer a flying change. Then we worked on the canter-trot-canter transition across the center line, and again, if I actually ride each step, I get a smooth, flowing transition. For the trot lengthening, that's going to be more of a long term project, so for the dressage show at the end of June, we're just going to ride what he's got (probably a 5) and make up for it on the other movements. I tend to kind of fling him forward and rush it, which is worse than just having it be a somewhat "meh" movement. Oh! And for stretchy trot circle, he tends to get a little fast, so I ride him by halting with my inner thighs, kind of like thinking about asking him to walk. We also started with the leg yield-shoulder in-leg yield exercise, which really helped for those first two movements, and on the two 10 meter circles, I need to learn my 10 meters better (I kept blobbing them out all big) and also have about three steps on the center line and clearly change the bend from left to right on those three steps. About half way through the leg yield, just think shoulder in, and that helps me put his hind leg back underneath him and keep his shoulders from leading. It's much harder going to the left than the right - which was the same on Willig, so it must be something about my confirmation. For the long walk, I need to let my hips rotate (like bike pedals going around) so that I don't restrict his good stretchy walk.

New Eventing Book!

"Fiel" by Diana Vincent.

I need a mnemonic

I had, what is now a "duh, of course" great jump lesson on Charlie today. I have a list of the things that I "get" but just need to keep working on to make them habits - here's the top 8: 1. In warm up, ride him rounder and more forward. 2. Don't bend forward to suck up the reins (after they've been loose). 3. Sit in my two point, light two point, seat down, and then WAIT for the fence - no more launchers!! 4. Keep it even - 1-2-1-2 (a corollary to this is not to get faster, looser, flatter, more strung out (get the picture?) as the course goes on) 5. Turn inside leg to outside hand - not with outside rein 6. Chest open (squished together shoulder blades - chest out, like I'm proud) 7. Commit to the fence and don't wiggle around those last couple strides 8. Make any corrections fast - no dawdling around for 5-10 (ok, sometimes 15) strides before I get it back together again What was nice today was Shannon made things a little twisty, and at the end, just a hair big, and I felt like we did it pretty smoothly. I am having a little more trouble with the combination - I don't correct quickly enough, so that will continue to need some work. Charlie is such a delight to ride. I seriously can't say that enough. I look forward to every ride on him, I'm smiling while I ride, and I'm smiling when I get off.

Willig check up

Willig is still off on his right front. He appears sound going in a straight line, but on a circle (on a very hard surface - asphalt), it's visible to the naked (vet) eye. Three more months of hand walking (or riding, on the days I am terribly brave) for an hour a day. Since most of the last three weeks I thought "there is no way I can subject myself to more of this" I am going to have to dig very deep for the willpower to hand walk him for three more months. The silver lining - ok, there's two - is that 1) he was quite easy to jog in hand, thanks to the hours and hours and hours we've spent together walking; and 2) I have had lots and lots and lots and lots of time to "ride" my dressage tests in my mind by walking them on the ground with Willig. I not only know them, I have thought through every movement my body makes, every potential movement the horse makes, and how my body would correct it. Of course, when I'm on a horse it happens at lightning speed compared to when I'm walking it, but still - it's something. Dr. Revenaugh thought that the lameness was prevalent enough that if he went back to work now, even light work, he'll be lame again sooner rather than later. I agree, but am not sure he is going to recover. The three months is the outlier - if Dr. Revenaugh checks him again in three months and there's no progress, then he said he'd likely "revise his prognosis down" which I translate to "Willig will be permanently lame." I believe the best case if he finally passes his soundness exam is the 2 minutes per week of trot, up to 20 minutes of canter something agonizingly far away, like 16 weeks later. So Willig is looking at a long, long, long, slow recovery (if at all). Stay tuned in three months. And thank god for Charlie this summer. I cried already, but it would have been harder without Charlie to look forward to.