I was reading the famous Getting to Yes book today in preparation for a big negotiation. Towards the end of the book, interestingly, in the section about risk, there were some sentences that really seemed applicable to the current situation with Willig. I'm quoting them below.
"Make an investment. Some people play tennis all their lives but never get better. Those people are not willing to take a fresh look at what they do or to consider changing it. Good players recognize that getting better often means making an investment in new approaches. For a while they may get worse as they wrestle with new and unfamiliar techniques, but eventually they surpass their old plateau. The new techniques offer more long-term potential."
"Review your performance. Schedule time to think about how you did after each significant negotiation. What worked? What did not? What might you have done differently? Consider keeping a negotiation journal or diary, which you can reread periodically." (Or a blog!)
"Prepare! In many ways, negotiation is like athletics: Some people have more natural talent, and like the best athletes, they may gain the most from preparation, practice, and coaching. Yet those with less natural talent have more need for preparation, practice, and feedback, and much to gain by it. Whichever you are, there is much to learn, and hard work will pay off. It is up to you."
Charlie with the long sought after cooler
Spring NWEC 2013 Novice
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Dave's photos of Mercury playing
If these were in focus, they would show that Mercury is both athletic and graceful.
Instead, he looks slightly like a terrifying monster.
Two more Willig lessons - 11/23 & 24
Thanksgiving has so far been very educational, but extremely frustrating. After my big night with Alice and the lunge line, I got some things, but other, bigger, more obvious things (like getting him to trot) escaped me.
So my first lesson, Friday, we started out with Bob watching me lunge. I learned two huge things (in addition to everything Alice taught me). First, today when I lunged, I drew a circle in the center of the arena where Bob's feet were yesterday when he lunged Willig. Then I stayed inside the circle when I lunged Willig, which helped so much because it was one less thing I had to think about. (I mean, I still had to watch and stay in the circle, but I didn't have to think about where I was in the arena in relation to Willig). That helped a huge amount. Second, when he is bad - I step outside the magic circle and pop him on the butt with the whip. That usually puts him back in an obeying frame of mind for several minutes. I was able to do walk, trot, and canter successfully both directions. Then, when I warmed up Mercury for Dave's lesson, I was able to lunge Mercury very well. So that felt tremendous.
But yesterday, after struggling around, I asked Bob to ride. Today, 5 minutes in, I started crying and refused to ride the rest of the lesson. So Bob rode and made Willig look amazingly fabulous. I've been all weird and easy to set off all week, but it was irritating to me (and probably Bob too).
What set me off is that Bob said that Willig is not "maintaining" at his current level. In the two weeks I've had him (most of which has been walking or lunging), he has started to develop an awful lot of bad habits. Bob is worried that he is going to be hard to fix if we use him as my "learning" horse, and he thinks he has the potential to go Intermediate or maybe even Advanced. He said he's my horse and I get to choose what to do with him, but I don't know what's best, and I have a pretty limited budget until Mercury sells.
Mercury, by the way, had a beginner lesson for Dave, and both Bob and I were very impressed with how patient he was during it.
Anyway, to help me think about it, here are the options I can see:
A. Sell Willig now. Buy a horse that is more "in between" Willig's potential and Mercury. (i.e. not so much potential but already trained)
B. Pay for a couple months of training with Bob working Willig only (or me riding lessons on Willig), and then if Bob feels he is more consistent, start riding again in the spring. Practice on Mercury.
I think this was Bob's choice, but I could ride other times if he or Alice was watching me. He also suggested that I take him to some dressage shows in the spring to get him used to show grounds. He said he's not ready to jump without learning bad habits because he's scared to be off the rail and doesn't know how to balance himself in the canter, so he'll get scared of the fences. He already said he'll need studs for the xc because our ground is clay.
C. Pay for a couple months of 1/2 time training with Bob working Willig, and me lunging and working my way up in lessons. I don't mind lunging and walking a couple more weeks while Bob gets him tuned up.
What I am afraid of is that with either B or C, I'll have to learn that I can't ride. Maybe I am good enough on Mercury, but just not going to cut it on a "real" horse. I know that the road is steep, and it's even harder to work with a youngster instead of a school master, but in the long run, if I can do it without ruining him, I'll be a lot better rider.
But Bob seemed to think there's a chance my bad habits will ruin him - will turn him into another Mercury, or keep him at the Novice level. Then again, Mercury has come a long way from where I got him, but he never had the potential Willig does.
So I'm not sure what to do. I'm leaning towards C, but remaining open to adjusting. I think if things haven't improved for me after a few months, I'll have to sell him, but if I quit riding or try to find a more suitable horse, I don't know.
So it's another week where Bob kept me humble, I learned a lot, but I didn't learn what I wanted to (i.e. that I'm a natural and totally fabulous).
So my first lesson, Friday, we started out with Bob watching me lunge. I learned two huge things (in addition to everything Alice taught me). First, today when I lunged, I drew a circle in the center of the arena where Bob's feet were yesterday when he lunged Willig. Then I stayed inside the circle when I lunged Willig, which helped so much because it was one less thing I had to think about. (I mean, I still had to watch and stay in the circle, but I didn't have to think about where I was in the arena in relation to Willig). That helped a huge amount. Second, when he is bad - I step outside the magic circle and pop him on the butt with the whip. That usually puts him back in an obeying frame of mind for several minutes. I was able to do walk, trot, and canter successfully both directions. Then, when I warmed up Mercury for Dave's lesson, I was able to lunge Mercury very well. So that felt tremendous.
But yesterday, after struggling around, I asked Bob to ride. Today, 5 minutes in, I started crying and refused to ride the rest of the lesson. So Bob rode and made Willig look amazingly fabulous. I've been all weird and easy to set off all week, but it was irritating to me (and probably Bob too).
What set me off is that Bob said that Willig is not "maintaining" at his current level. In the two weeks I've had him (most of which has been walking or lunging), he has started to develop an awful lot of bad habits. Bob is worried that he is going to be hard to fix if we use him as my "learning" horse, and he thinks he has the potential to go Intermediate or maybe even Advanced. He said he's my horse and I get to choose what to do with him, but I don't know what's best, and I have a pretty limited budget until Mercury sells.
Mercury, by the way, had a beginner lesson for Dave, and both Bob and I were very impressed with how patient he was during it.
Anyway, to help me think about it, here are the options I can see:
A. Sell Willig now. Buy a horse that is more "in between" Willig's potential and Mercury. (i.e. not so much potential but already trained)
B. Pay for a couple months of training with Bob working Willig only (or me riding lessons on Willig), and then if Bob feels he is more consistent, start riding again in the spring. Practice on Mercury.
I think this was Bob's choice, but I could ride other times if he or Alice was watching me. He also suggested that I take him to some dressage shows in the spring to get him used to show grounds. He said he's not ready to jump without learning bad habits because he's scared to be off the rail and doesn't know how to balance himself in the canter, so he'll get scared of the fences. He already said he'll need studs for the xc because our ground is clay.
C. Pay for a couple months of 1/2 time training with Bob working Willig, and me lunging and working my way up in lessons. I don't mind lunging and walking a couple more weeks while Bob gets him tuned up.
What I am afraid of is that with either B or C, I'll have to learn that I can't ride. Maybe I am good enough on Mercury, but just not going to cut it on a "real" horse. I know that the road is steep, and it's even harder to work with a youngster instead of a school master, but in the long run, if I can do it without ruining him, I'll be a lot better rider.
But Bob seemed to think there's a chance my bad habits will ruin him - will turn him into another Mercury, or keep him at the Novice level. Then again, Mercury has come a long way from where I got him, but he never had the potential Willig does.
So I'm not sure what to do. I'm leaning towards C, but remaining open to adjusting. I think if things haven't improved for me after a few months, I'll have to sell him, but if I quit riding or try to find a more suitable horse, I don't know.
So it's another week where Bob kept me humble, I learned a lot, but I didn't learn what I wanted to (i.e. that I'm a natural and totally fabulous).
Monday, November 19, 2007
There's even a lot to learn in lunging!
I had to stop by stores for my final T-giving shopping tonight, so Willig was going to get lunged, and Mercury was going to get off scot-free. Tomorrow the kittens get spayed (and are way, way overdue by their behavior), so tomorrow night both horses get the night off while I protect the kittens from Kappa the bounty hunter.
Fortunately for me, but not fortunately for my ego, Alice was out. I asked her to let me know whenever she saw me do something wrong. Turns out - after all these years - I have no idea how to lunge a horse, and tonight I just learned how little I know. I knew I was missing something, from watching Bob lunge and lunging Mercury, but I couldn't figure out what I wasn't doing. Turns out - almost everything, and certainly all the same things I do on their back.
I'm going to make an analogy to the law, which probably most people will be fortunate enough not to get. But all lawyers - no matter how brilliant - face a steep learning curve when they start to work. For some people, it might only be a few months; for others, a few years. But it is frustrating, steep, seemingly impossible at times, and it turns out, just as I am beginning to level out just a tiny bit in the law, I am now facing that same learning curve with Willig.
My ferrari/beetle bug analogy, my riding a rainbow vs. a 2x4 analogy - all those still apply. Willig is so nuanced.
This is what one minute of the 30 painful minutes I'm out there is like:
Willig: (turns head towards me) What the hell are you doing?
Me: Why is he looking at me? Did I just do something wrong? Oh shit!
Willig: Well, now she's yanking on my mouth and popping the whip at the same time. Which one should I do?
Me: Why isn't he responding? Did I just do something wrong? Oh shit!
Willig: I guess I'll just stop until she figures it out.
Me: Why is he stopping? Did I just do something wrong? Oh shit!
So - Alice taught me to keep my hands down low and still. Move towards him (this one was hard) but don't push him into the walls. Don't ever pull on my hand and tell him to go forward at the same time. React quicker - when he is about to hesitate, push him forward. Use my voice - use my voice - use my voice. Face his middle - not in front of him and not totally behind him. Move with him, but don't shove him into the walls or make a square "circle". Use a half halt. Make him obey. If he doesn't whoa, make him whoa. Don't let him walk into me in the center. Don't follow him (I lead, not him). Don't ever, ever chase him. Repeat commands if he doesn't do it the first time.
And, horrors, when he goes crazy, make him whoa, put him back to what he was doing, and then whoa him and calm things down. And then do it again, properly.
There are probably like 100 little steps I have already forgotten, and this was just Alice watching me for a little while. My lunging improved so much, just from that little bit of help.
For a few precious steps at trot, we got good movement. But it was like being on every second I was out there. And everything happened too fast for me because there were too many bad habits to change at once. And Willig got frustrated.
He is going to be a great teacher if we can make it through this steep part of the learning curve. He is so amazing. I know so little and have so many bad habits, and it is just repeat, repeat, repeat 100 times and then add something new and start over.
Alice and Bob know so much. I am just in awe all the time. I just hope I can adapt and learn and live up to Willig's potential.
Fortunately for me, but not fortunately for my ego, Alice was out. I asked her to let me know whenever she saw me do something wrong. Turns out - after all these years - I have no idea how to lunge a horse, and tonight I just learned how little I know. I knew I was missing something, from watching Bob lunge and lunging Mercury, but I couldn't figure out what I wasn't doing. Turns out - almost everything, and certainly all the same things I do on their back.
I'm going to make an analogy to the law, which probably most people will be fortunate enough not to get. But all lawyers - no matter how brilliant - face a steep learning curve when they start to work. For some people, it might only be a few months; for others, a few years. But it is frustrating, steep, seemingly impossible at times, and it turns out, just as I am beginning to level out just a tiny bit in the law, I am now facing that same learning curve with Willig.
My ferrari/beetle bug analogy, my riding a rainbow vs. a 2x4 analogy - all those still apply. Willig is so nuanced.
This is what one minute of the 30 painful minutes I'm out there is like:
Willig: (turns head towards me) What the hell are you doing?
Me: Why is he looking at me? Did I just do something wrong? Oh shit!
Willig: Well, now she's yanking on my mouth and popping the whip at the same time. Which one should I do?
Me: Why isn't he responding? Did I just do something wrong? Oh shit!
Willig: I guess I'll just stop until she figures it out.
Me: Why is he stopping? Did I just do something wrong? Oh shit!
So - Alice taught me to keep my hands down low and still. Move towards him (this one was hard) but don't push him into the walls. Don't ever pull on my hand and tell him to go forward at the same time. React quicker - when he is about to hesitate, push him forward. Use my voice - use my voice - use my voice. Face his middle - not in front of him and not totally behind him. Move with him, but don't shove him into the walls or make a square "circle". Use a half halt. Make him obey. If he doesn't whoa, make him whoa. Don't let him walk into me in the center. Don't follow him (I lead, not him). Don't ever, ever chase him. Repeat commands if he doesn't do it the first time.
And, horrors, when he goes crazy, make him whoa, put him back to what he was doing, and then whoa him and calm things down. And then do it again, properly.
There are probably like 100 little steps I have already forgotten, and this was just Alice watching me for a little while. My lunging improved so much, just from that little bit of help.
For a few precious steps at trot, we got good movement. But it was like being on every second I was out there. And everything happened too fast for me because there were too many bad habits to change at once. And Willig got frustrated.
He is going to be a great teacher if we can make it through this steep part of the learning curve. He is so amazing. I know so little and have so many bad habits, and it is just repeat, repeat, repeat 100 times and then add something new and start over.
Alice and Bob know so much. I am just in awe all the time. I just hope I can adapt and learn and live up to Willig's potential.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
First two Willig lessons - 11/17 & 18
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Willig is completely different to ride than any horse I have ever ridden before. His movement is huge (and it's only around 60% of how he should move, according to Bob), and it is so soft and comfortable. He is truly a ferrari compared to beetlebug Mercury.
However, because he's so far out of my league, I am once again learning how to ride again. Alice said I have to learn eventually, but today, during the second lesson, it was really frustrating. He gets bored easily, frustrated if I don't do things exactly right, and irritable about me trying the same thing over and over. All we did yesterday and today was walk and trot (after the lunge line), and today the trot just slipped further and further from my grasp.
I don't even want to relive the agony of the lesson by typing it - I just want the message that there's nowhere to go but up, and it is a big, steep hill ahead of me - to get through.
It was the same problems I have with Mercury, only going a lot faster (with bigger steps) and with far more delicate controls. I overcompensated many times.
I love Willig. He is amazing, and I am going to learn so much, and it is going to be so cool to be able to learn so much more from Bob, but I am completely humbled and awed and the task is going to be arduous.
Wow.
Wow.
Willig is completely different to ride than any horse I have ever ridden before. His movement is huge (and it's only around 60% of how he should move, according to Bob), and it is so soft and comfortable. He is truly a ferrari compared to beetlebug Mercury.
However, because he's so far out of my league, I am once again learning how to ride again. Alice said I have to learn eventually, but today, during the second lesson, it was really frustrating. He gets bored easily, frustrated if I don't do things exactly right, and irritable about me trying the same thing over and over. All we did yesterday and today was walk and trot (after the lunge line), and today the trot just slipped further and further from my grasp.
I don't even want to relive the agony of the lesson by typing it - I just want the message that there's nowhere to go but up, and it is a big, steep hill ahead of me - to get through.
It was the same problems I have with Mercury, only going a lot faster (with bigger steps) and with far more delicate controls. I overcompensated many times.
I love Willig. He is amazing, and I am going to learn so much, and it is going to be so cool to be able to learn so much more from Bob, but I am completely humbled and awed and the task is going to be arduous.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I bought a new horse!
Bob went to California to look at him. He should be here on Thursday. I am so excited.
His owner has some other horses for sale: http://thedressagearena.com/
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