A spread, some serpentines, and an angle

I started today's jump lesson like I'd never been on a horse in my life, or even seen someone ride one on tv. It was excruciating. My body refused to do all of the things I was telling it to, but also refused to default to - ok, nowhere near perfect, but at least riding - behavior. My right seat bone was jabbing into the saddle, and I have no idea what messed up body thing is going on that causes that. Shannon had me jump a teeny cross rail several times without stirrups, first at the trot (if I had been a watcher on the ground, I would have had to shut my eyes because it was so hideous to look at) and then at the canter (a little better, but still close to making eyes bleed). Even without stirrups, my feet wanted to squish into Charlie's sides and I'd be behind, ahead, sideways - any way but just in balance with him. I was about ready to give up - throw in the helmet and just confess that I'd managed to fake my way this far in life and it'd finally caught up with me. So Shannon walked off and was messing around with the fences - although someone had changed them from last week to little intro level, I assumed she was going to have to make them even easier after my spectacle. Instead, she fixed the distance a bit on what I thought was a 3 stride, and changed its direction, turning the second fence from a vertical into an oxer with about a 3' spread. Then she had us ride two little courses - and lo and behold, all that work we've done on the distances, and riding up close to the fence, has had an effect! It went pretty smooth - with me being able to trust that we could fit in one more stride and not launching Charlie from way out. Then we did it again, but with a tight turn to an angle, and so I rode the first fence, the tight turn, and the angle at a more "collected" (pulled together) canter, then went back to the normal, bigger canter for the last couple fences. And again, we did it! So it's the same old same old - keep working on even hands, not bending Charlie to the right, not digging in with my heels, keeping the rhythm even. But the big difference from when I jumped by myself last week was to get him out in front of me - responsive and light to the aids with a bigger canter than I would pick, and then I could slow him down or lengthen him out, but I had him adjustable instead of sluggish. And - a tiny glimmer of hope of progress. I am learning some of this stuff, even if I'm slow. Then we finally had a chance to watch my DVDs from the first two shows together, and other than my doofus moments that even I can clearly see, Shannon pointed out that I have a few chippers on the cross country fences, and that she's done that too, and when she does it, it's looking down at the fence instead of up and out at the next fence. So that's another one to keep in mind - making sure I don't stare down the fences just because they're big and solid and impressive looking.