Help wanted

Forest Park Equestrian Center is looking for a part time worker to turn out horses, clean stalls, and feed.  If you're in the Olympia area and interested, please post your contact information in a comment (I won't publish it) and I'll forward it to the owner.

Caber Farms is also looking for an upper level working student.

Willig's eulogy

I'm sorry, Willig.
I'm not sure which of the images would be your future that would make you happy, but I hope you're at peace.
Willig was a difficult horse to love, but he had his charms - his cross legged bow, his bravery chasing off his biggest fear - the deer - to protect me, and doing his best at horse shows. 
This was a terrible decision and one I hope I never have to make again. 

Charlie's show jumping round

We had a rail down, which kept us in 12th, but I'm still considering the day a success because I could feel the rail coming, and *** I knew what to do to correct it!  I didn't do it in time, or successfully, but not only could I tell what was coming, I knew how to react.  So if I had just been a little faster or a little better at the correction, the rail wouldn't have gone down.  In theory.
That's huge progress from last year!

I'm a sore loser, but I like learning lessons

I rode like crap yesterday during our dressage test at Caber.  I was pissy most of the day - although trying hard not to be - because I couldn't figure out what went wrong.  I get it that I make all kinds of mistakes, and I am still blissfully ignorant of most of them, but usually, when I flop terribly, I have an idea why.  Yesterday was a total blank, and because it was such a big jump from our status quo so far, I wanted it to be blindingly obvious why.
The day started at 4:30 am, which contributed to the pissiness, but not the flop.  On the way there, through a random bit of conversation, I realized I learned the wrong dressage test.  Ok, not the end of the world, although I also forgot my USEA book, because I had ridden it once before.  I could remember the first three movements, but that was it.  So I wandered around the show grounds until I found a rider nice enough to let me borrow her book.  I refreshed my memory of the test, and then ran it through my head several times - but I had trouble focusing on the movements the way I had been doing on the other test.  Then - lo and behold, Shannon and I both read the schedule wrong, and realized we were there all day, not just half a day.  So then I tried to get through to work, feeling like a total ass, because I had promised them I'd be in towards the end of the day.  Caber barely gets a cell signal, so I was on top of Shannon's truck trying to get an email to send to them because I couldn't get the call to go through.
And then it was time to ride.  And I just couldn't focus.
The test wasn't that bad overall - it was just one big flub of a mistake really that ruined us.  I picked up the incorrect lead on the first canter, and then did a perfect counter canter the entire next three movements.  It really was a divine counter canter - perfectly balanced.  I had no idea we were on the wrong lead.  It was not an A+ test on the other movements, but I felt pretty good about it because I could feel the little issues and could work on fixing them during the test, which is huge progress from last year.
But that wrong lead tanked me.
Then today I started having trouble focusing again.  I thought today was going to feel like a cake walk because now that I was very very close to the bottom of the pack, all the pressure was off not making a mistake.  Who cares if you make a mistake if you're already losing?
But no, I couldn't focus again, and we even had a run out over the tiny log in the warm up.
And that's when the light bulb went off and it all became worth it.  I was trying to figure out what was the difference between the derby a couple weeks ago and this show.  I have Shannon with me, so I should be doing even better, but instead, I'm riding much worse.  And then something Shannon said yesterday finally became clear - it's all the people.  The derby was relatively low key and I was alone most of the time.  The recognized show is intense - we had people almost run into us - like a couple inches away - twice in the warm up.
And let's say I have 5 units of concentration - at the recognized show I spend about 3 of them - maybe 4 - watching the other riders and stuff going on, even if I'm trying to just ride and listen to Shannon.  Shannon's voice gets through, but it's like I can't get all cylinders firing.
So I wanted to try two things - one is focus on just three things to think about when I'm competing.  Today it was "heels down, turn from the outside rein, and ride like stink".  I think my heels did ok (you can see on video), we did better than if I hadn't been thinking about turning from the outside rein, and I took "stink" to mean super fast, which was not quite what Shannon meant, but was really fun.
And the other thing I want to try is when I feel overwhelmed, Shannon said first just let her know and we can walk until there's a break, and then we'll warm up in the breaks - those weird moments where there's only a few other riders in, and just walk when it's 10-15 of them.
Of course, what I want is now that I identified what is maybe the problem, for the whole thing to just instantly be solved.
Oh, and three - I'm going to take a few moments before each ride and channel the same energy I use when I'm in court and use that in the arena.  It's bravado, I think, and I fake it in court even when I don't feel it.
I'm really disappointed in myself, but it will have been totally worth it if we made another step forward in me actually learning how to ride.
And plus, Charlie loves cross country.  It is so awesome how he perks up and just loves doing it.  He's so amazing.

Charlie the slightly slowed down lightning bolt

Charlie the lightning bolt

Jumping with John; Flatwork with Erin

Erin started my lesson today with some flat work, and having a new person saying the same thing was just what I needed.  I noticed the two rides before this one that my legs felt more drapey, but I can't figure out if it is the pilates I'm doing with the Beth Glosten video, or just (FINALLY) all of the concentrating on my legs clicking into place, so I was really curious how it would look to John and in a jump saddle.
What made it nice was we could focus on the next layer of the onion - which is keeping the outside hand steady with the contact, so that I can bend Charlie on the inside into the outside rein, which then helps him lift up.  The other thing Erin said, when Charlie was lugging around, was "off-on-off-on" with my legs, which is a helpful way for me to think about it, because my natural tendency is to "squeeze-squeeze harder-squeeze-squeeze harder". 
The other thing we worked on was being clear with the aids for the transitions - do a half halt with the outside rein, then add inside leg, then add outside leg.  When I do them clearly and in steps like that, Charlie leaps up into the canter, instead of tossing his head and falling forward into it.
Then John started with one of the same ideas - hold that outside contact steady, do a leg yield off the inside leg - have the proper bend - and THEN ask for impulsion in the trot.  This way, visually (sort of), Charlie's withers are the high point, and the front of them sort of tips down while the back lifts up.  I can feel this when it's right, but it is harder for me to get all on my own.

Then we worked up to a little course, and although it was nowhere near perfect, it was wonderful because - for the second time - I felt some of the things John and Shannon have been telling me click.  And not just click, but click in time for me to do something about it.  And not just do something - know what to do!  It was amazing!  Like a couple lessons ago when all of a sudden I could feel my hands pulling a few strides out from the fence, and once I could feel it, I could stop doing it, and I had the immediate gratification of as soon as I stopped doing it, it cleaned up the lines and made them perfect distances.  This was similar - I could feel a few strides out what needed to be fixed, and I could at least start fixing it - even if I wasn't fast enough to fix it all the way.  John commented on it too - that instead of sitting up there passive, I am finally reacting.

We also talked about next year and some of the upcoming shows, and John is going to make me a five week training schedule to get ready for NWEC.  Then I watched someone's youtube video of their training level course in the spring and thought there's no way even with five weeks, or maybe even all next year, I'll be ready!  I know Charlie can do it, but man - what a step up.  Not on the height, but on the ... technical side?  The fences are closer together, there are more turns, and more combinations and it's faster. 

Also, I need trailer driving lessons.  Mark had to get me out from between the fence and ditches.  I didn't fit through the fence, and then was unable to back out the way I came.  It was mortifying.

Day 2 with Major Beale

Today we did some crazy collected canter that neither I nor Charlie had any idea he could do!  We worked hard the entire lesson, but the only thing I can remember, just a few hours later, is how bouncy that canter was.  It was basically like Charlie was a carousel horse, going up and down on his pole.  We alternated it with some medium canter, and Charlie made it clear that he prefers doing one or the other, once he figures out what you want, but not switching all willy nilly back and forth.  He got tired towards the end, and started using any excuse he could to break to trot.
And I gave him lots of excuses because what we worked on was trying to time the transition from canter to be on the "1" beat (first hind leg underneath) so that he could step right into walk.  It was really cool, because like yesterday, what is amazing when he starts to engage his hind end is how much better I can feel everything (in addition to him being easier to ride), but I can feel the 1-2-3-hang of the canter so I know when the "1" is.  The problem is I'm thinking 1-2-3-hang and so even if I give the aid at "hang", by the time my brain thinks it and translates it down to my leg, we're already at 2 or even 3 and the aid is at the wrong time.
The other mistake I make is that I still throw my hands forward right when he does the down transition, so he stumbles into a trot instead of easing into a walk.  That one is "easy" to fix (although I haven't fixed it yet, despite Shannon telling me I do it probably two years ago), because I just have to think about planting my hands when I ask for the transition and give them some of my attention so that they stay planted, until I reverse that muscle memory.
It was so amazing, though, to be able to ride that, and to have asked for it and gotten it by myself! 
We also did some half pass at the trot (half pass is a leg yield but with their head bent in the direction of travel - so if you are turning up the center line and half passing right, the bend is to the right), and ended with some shoulder in at the trot.
I think I forgot to mention that when we worked on lengthening yesterday, you have to give a little bit so he can stretch over the topline.  I used to do that, but I was throwing my hands away, so then I quit moving them at all, and a happy medium is much better.  Too much forward and he gets unbalanced and rushing, too tight and he can't lengthen.
It was really fun and useful, and I hope to make more progress before he comes back in October.

Day 1 with Major Beale

Charlie has had a bit of a cough and was a little cranky yesterday, so I wasn't sure what to expect in today's first clinic ride with Major Beale.  Well, a sick Charlie is a perfect Charlie, as it turns out.
We did four major exercises.  First, we worked started on a 20 meter circle (at the trot), then gradually brought it down to about 12 meters, and then did haunches out on the circle, brought it back out to 20 meters, and transitioned to canter.  The amazing part about this was when I could feel Charlie's hind legs start to cross underneath - it made his shoulders lighten and poof up, and it made for a delightful transition up into canter.
Then we worked on crisp transitions with just a few steps of each in between.  This is the type of "jazzing up" that Charlie needs to get attentive and responsive to the aids, and it made a huge improvement in the other gaits.  At the walk, Charlie should feel ready to spring into canter, but this is done with some leg and whip, but NOT the seat.  It was hard to not want to grind into his back with my seat, but Major Beale pointed out if I want him to lift his back, why would he do it when I'm smashing into him?
Our third exercise was, after some shoulder in, looking at my lower leg.  Major Beale took my leg and put it in the right spot so I could feel it - because at the shoulder in, I am swinging the inside leg way, way back (knee is a pivot, spur is basically at the saddle pad), and so the little hoppity skip I felt in shoulder in was not Charlie trying to do a lead change, but Charlie saying "holy crap that tickles".
We also worked on draping my lower leg, wrapping the heel around, and keeping my toe light in the stirrup (he actually put his finger between my toe and the stirrup - I was terrified I was going to smash it), which has the secondary benefit of not letting my knee swing open.  The problem here is I get tense and then make my thighs tense, and everything goes haywire.  This will be a good thing to practice until he is back in October.
Our final exercise was shoulder in at the canter, which is crazy hard.  I have no idea why shoulder in at the trot is easier, but now that I have tried shoulder in at the canter, I now appreciate only doing a shoulder in at the trot.  Here, again, my inside leg was trying to swing way back, and I also tended to overbend his neck instead of actually doing the shoulder in.  But again, when we got it correctly, I could FEEL his shoulders lift up underneath me.
It was another really great lesson.  Because Charlie and I had our A game going, we were able to start doing some new things that I've never tried before.  As we were warming up, Major Beale said the big thing missing is putting Charlie together, and those "jazzing" exercises did that, so that's something I can definitely work more on between clinics.  The shoulder-in at the canter was a bit advanced - I'm not sure I'd want to try it and perfect doing it incorrectly before he comes back next.