Dressage in the dark

The time changed, and the weather changed, and it felt so much darker than it has ever been before on the way to John's.  It was odd.
The wind was blowing sideways and it was pouring rain when I left Olympia, so I left the trailer windows closed and poor Duke got too hot in there with his medium weight sheet on.  Lesson learned.  I cracked the windows open on the way home and he did much better.
John said it's ok not to clip him yet, to watch for the goat hairs and clip him then.  He got sweaty working during the lesson, but I don't think I've seen him sweat when I ride him for at least a couple weeks!  John reminded me that in the winter, it's not good to let them get sweaty, then cold, then heat up.
While John was at Galway, I rode Duke a couple times in the draw reins, but I couldn't get that same feel of Duke bending around my leg that I get in the lesson; it felt more like he just cocked his head sideways.  So although it was windy and chilly (and dark), Duke was a really good boy.  He thought about looking at what was making all the noise a few times, but if I gave him an inside aid, he'd flick his ear back to paying attention to me.  Like the snow and his two days in a row off, I was really impressed with his willingness to pay attention to me.
All that being said, we did work on 10 meter circles, to 20 meter circles to try to hold it, back to 10 meter, and then change direction.
It was one of those lessons where John told me each aid and when to give it, so he had to talk non-stop, and I had to stick my tongue out to focus to try to keep up.  I could feel when Duke got balanced, because the 10 meter circle didn't feel like we were a motorcycle cornering, but felt like we were a train on tracks - which isn't quite right - but his shoulders were up and even instead of leaning in, so even though the circle was the same size, it felt more square.
The good news is I can feel the difference.
The bad news is that it is so many aids, so quick and so different (right leg is different than left leg, and left hand is different than right hand, and the whole time I need to sit deeper), that while I can sort of - maybe - keep up with John, there isn't a snowball's chance I could figure them all out by myself.  And John said that's ok, that it's ok to just ride around and have fun on Duke some of the days when I ride him at home.  (Fun, what's that? Ha ha.)
What he did was sometimes inside leg, a lot of times half halt with the outside hand, sometimes (probably always) the half halt needs to go with inside leg just a fraction before it, sometimes both legs (when he got balanced), inside hand to help him bend - which varied from just a squeeze and release to a couple inches higher, a couple inches inside, and a couple inches back, sometimes a raised hand (to get rid of that head tilt), sometimes some leg yield out, sometimes haunches in, etc.
I had a moment where I gave an aid and Duke reacted (probably I put on inside leg and he tried to move out instead of bending around) and I thought of physics and there being an equal and oppose reaction, and then I had a tiny flash of insight into what it must be like for John to ride, in that he KNOWS if he puts on his inside leg, a horse like Duke is going to try to pop out of his outside shoulder, and so he can - before Duke evades, go ahead and stop that outside shoulder.  He doesn't have to wait for Duke to evade (and unlike me, he doesn't have to wait even longer while he tells me and then I give the aid, so the movement has already been going on for like 5 seconds), but can preemptively nip it in the bud.  That must be the next level up, anticipating the reaction.  That, plus also being able to give 15 different aids at once and thinking ahead.
I don't think two years ago I could have given two different aids with my legs (one aid for each leg) - if I squeezed with my right leg, my left leg squeezed too.  So there's that progress, but man, I am starting to appreciate (once again) how little I can do.  I am basically walking and chewing gum, which is better than just walking, but John is juggling, while riding a unicycle, on a tightrope, with a wolf chasing him.  Probably something is also on fire.
Duke is going to be a good teacher, I think.  I'm so grateful to be able to work with John.