Dressage

Duke and I had a great dressage lesson today.  John worked us pretty hard on getting the correct bend, and asking Duke to put his weight on his hind end ("sitting back") while still going forward.  We had a few good moments, but good god - my fucking hands were like somebody with Parkinson's.  It was agonizing.  I could not get them to be still.
Duke was good about stepping forward and under, bending to the outside and inside, leg yielding in and out, and his transitions.  He was just jerky with his head (making the reins bounce).
We talked a bit about how I don't have enough imagination to ride the flat by myself without lessons; I need what we worked on in the last couple lessons to work into my routine.  John suggested trying music that gets me motivated.
I also asked for help with the training schedule for this year (which technically hasn't started yet).  John said he was working on it tonight, and would think about it, but let me know he was disappointed in me last year, for being a sore loser.  I asked him if I showed the signs of being about to quit, and he said he hoped not, but that if I kept up like last year, yes.
He said he can still see progress, but he thinks I can't see it, and he thinks that is what will make me quit, feeling like I'm no longer making progress.
Lesson was trying to re-ingrain what we were doing a couple months ago, getting him round, bent properly, moving off of my legs, but stepping forward and under.
I told him when I sit up, Duke does a down transition; he told me to make sure my hips keep moving, so then we did really big hips at the canter, got him moving really forward, and then used outside rein to rock him back onto his haunches.  Duke was pretty good about this, but I had to really concentrate.