Rough start to a nice day

Today was the first day of our portion of the Adult Eventing Derby. Today was the play day. (We didn't go to the clinic portion.)
We had a terrible start. I couldn't sleep last night and thought I was getting sick - last night Willig was a loony tune on the lunge line, kicked at me, got it wrapped around his leg (I should be ashamed how frequently this happens - he won't make a round circle, and he tends to kick on the flat side, so the lunge line is more often loose on that side), then when I let go so as not to break his sweet little leg - he went ripping off and ran around and around for 10 minutes not letting me catch him, like a total jerk-face.
After a solo-hitching at 5:45 am (one that the neighbors AND me want to avoid happening again), I went to get Willig. He was all sweet and quiet in his stall, apparently a sleepy Willig is a docile Willig.
I noticed a little piece had snapped on his halter (oddly, since it was ok last night when I put him away), and I made a mental note to fix it after I put on his bridle at the show. That's called foreshadowing, readers.
So we went out to the trailer, and I was using the light my dad got me to light up the inside since it was still pretty dark out, and that ding dong would not go in. And he was pulling, pulling, pulling, and SNAP - the rest of the halter broke - it flew off his head, and he ... thanks to last night, possibly? ... ran away again. With his shipping boots and his tail wrap, he ran all over Forest Park's trailer parking lot. This gave me time to get his back-up halter and move the broken one, and then he let me catch him, but had gotten himself quite worked up.
So then I put him in, but with the lunge line through the tie, so that I could stand next to him but pull him in at the same time. Well, the lesson he learned was "if I pull hard enough, I can get loose and not go in the trailer" - he was rearing and thrashing and sparks flew from his hooves like he was the devil hisself. By this point, unlike last night, I didn't care if he killed himself.
Eventually, he got so worked up he started shaking, and then, for reasons unknown to me, he just walked in. I was just about ready to quit. He gave me rope burns on my hands.
So I was upset - I was like "I can't even load this horse into the trailer, what the hell am I doing going to a show?" and I thought I'd just drive him around the block (so he didn't get away with being so terrible then going right back in his stall), but we went to the show anyway, because I reasoned that once I start chickening out, there's no going back.
We got there late because of the trailer incident. I registered, ran out and half ass walked the course, rubbed him briefly with a brush, lunged him about 5 minutes, rode him about 3 minutes (once over each fence), then made it to my start time with 30 seconds to spare - and no breakfast for Willig.
So given that, he did pretty well, though given what he should be able to do, it was pitiful. We were clobbered by 6 year olds.
He had a refusal at fence 3 (an odd shaped log). We stopped in front of it, he looked at it, then he jumped it kind of funny but jumped it. Then I pulled him off of 8 (another log) because he was so busy looking at the scary ditch to the right of it that I thought he was going to slam right into it. The rest of the fences were fine. It wasn't timed, so we trotted and were calm. (Interestingly, I just read in Practical Horseman, while sitting in the sun later in the day, that it is harder to trot a fence than canter it.)
This resulted in either a:
- 3rd place finish (two refusals were the third worst ride)
- 10th place finish (out of 17) (there were 8 or so ties for 1st place since it wasn't timed and they didn't refuse)
- Last place finish (everyone below us was eliminated; no one had three refusals)
But - with a bunch of horses screaming in their stalls - and at least three loose horses (which made me feel a LOT better), Willig was actually really, really good in his stall.
I went and walked BN, what we had planned to ride. It looked bigger. It had a ditch.
Just before I was going to get him ready for dressage, he got bored, so I got him ready early and we just rode around all over the show grounds. That was really good for him I think - to just see a bunch of stuff happening and it not be a big deal.
Then, our dressage test was with Francis O'Reilly, and Adult Riders set it up so you got to talk to the judge after. This was genius (thank you Adult Riders!). She came out and explained HOW to ride him with contact, and how to do down transitions. It feels TOTALLY different than how I've been riding, and I am so excited because she told me, it took me a few minutes to get it, and then I got it, and I felt it!! And of course, he fought it. So it's: steady contact on the outside rein - and by contact - really solid contact. And then when he tries to lift his head or act out, squeeze with your legs, but counter it with your hand so he doesn't go faster, but you push him into the contact on your hand.
For down transitions, it is pushing him down into it - not letting his head pop up. She said to work at home on a lot of transitions to help him with this, and I think this is the same as my prior Conrad Schumacher post about the young horses and poles and turns-on-the-forehand.
It felt GREAT - and totally different. I can't wait to practice.
And our dressage test was a 44.5.
Then I let him graze about an hour (which rocked to him - I think the ding dong might not really "get" grass, and maybe that's why he doesn't appreciate the turnout at FPEC), and we watched some of the training and prelim riders.
I left him with his dinner and some extra local hay, and I'm getting up again at 5 tomorrow for our 7:56 am dressage ride. I'm a little worried about him overnight, but he's got horses around and lots of people are there in their campers, and I've got his stall sign (thanks, mom) up with my phone number and the vet's number on it.
I am so excited about the judge showing me how to properly ride. I hope that is the missing link.
Though I watched the jumpers - I just can't see us ever doing prelim. And I heard people talking "oh, he's a project - he's JUST prelim potential".
Also, the sun was awesome today. Yay sun and warmth.
A future post is going to discuss me being stubborn and plodding away at him, vs. him one day turning into a good horse, vs. the need for me to learn how to ride him for my personal growth with horses, and once again, whether I should keep him. I think we've made progress, and I think he's going to turn into a nice horse, but I don't know when you know that for sure and when you're just wasting time with a horse that's too much. And I'm not sure he's ever going to be confident enough to be an eventer. Those training/prelim horses WANTED to do it.