Cones are ho-hum, but jackets? Oh my!

Thank goodness I have had time and money for extra lessons this month, because Willig has been a handful. Today was my third jump lesson of the month, and we are now unafraid of the cone, but one of us (ahem, me) remains afraid of jackets.
With that ...
I thought Willig might be a bit mellow today, since he had a hard dressage lesson Wednesday, got ridden by me and J on Thursday, and then I got out there and was warming him up just a few minutes before the lesson. Oh, no. He was looking at the little jump, just trying to see what surprises were in store for him today.
Let me back up. J used his "box o' scary stuff" on Thursday to jump him and reported that he doesn't like to trot towards something new the first time and will try to get out of the approach, but that he'll walk towards it no problem, look at it, and then trot it fine the second time. Then I put out the giant Popeye we got (I'll have to take a picture and post it - he is enormous - like the size of a toddler) and Willig snorted the whole way into the arena, but being the crafty human, I thought ahead and brought sugar cubes and gave him random rewards for approaching Popeye. He couldn't get ENOUGH of Popeye after that.
But all of that was forgotten by this morning when we started warming up.
I had a couple "feel" questions for Shannon that I thought I got from my dressage lesson but then didn't seem to have when I rode the next day. Mostly, what is the difference between the body position that means "halt" and the one that means "half halt" (and thus, collect)? Shannon said the "hold". You "hold" until he halts (or does a down transition) but the half halt you ask-release-ask-release, usually while you're also using a leg aid.
She also pointed out that my description (which includes pushing down and tilting forward with my pelvis) could just maybe suggest that I shouldn't be doing it (just describing it makes me want to hollow MY back), and then noticed that my saddle is sitting a bit close on his withers and I should try riding with a gel pad.
This goes with an off-hand remark that one of her boarders/instructors/helpers made while going past us, about how much weight Willig has gained in the last year. And then she said something so obvious that I hadn't thought of it, "I bet that has made him kind of spunky."
Why, yes. Yes, it has. THAT'S why I could ride him two years ago. He was skinny and weak and I could "overpower" him. Now he is healthy and happy and glossy and, yes, spunky.
The two easy take-aways from today's lesson:
- On the flat: Quit riding with my hands and ride with my legs!
- Over fences: Ride towards the fence like I mean it!
The details:
Willig wanted to look to the outside while we warmed up on a 20 meter circle, and we got in this big fight with my hands where I try to crank his head back to the inside while Shannon says "use your leg!" and I use my leg and he ignores me so I crank his neck again. This is EXACTLY what we worked on with Mike and it worked (but nasty tricky Willig is always good and does it immediately and perfectly in front of Mike) so I think I need to master these aids at the halt and walk and then be consistent with them and retrain him away from my heavy hands.
This was to the point where Shannon had me hold onto the breastplate with my outside hand so I would stop using it.
I also ride around with them uneven, and slipping out, and she's constantly telling me to even them up and shorten the reins.
He was a bit frisky, so she had us ride harder than I would - canter, canter faster, trot, walk, canter, canter faster, until he was listening.
Next, we took the same old fence and he popped right over it from the trot.
Then she put out two ground lines, about 7' on either side of the fence (instead of the normal 9'). She asked us to make a 10 meter canter circle, to collect him up (also what we worked on with Mike two days ago) and just like with the bending, we couldn't get our act together. I got so frustrated I actually started to cry. I miss sweet, reliable Mercury. He wanted to look out the door or look at the fence or whatever was looking somewhere else and not working, and then because his head was looking around, I'd start wrastling with my hands like he was a gator and then Shannon would tell me to put my hands down and keep them still so we'd start drifting all over the place (I kept being afraid we were going to run her over) and then we finally got it together enough to go over the fence, which he did perfectly fine. Several times in a row.
Then we tried it the other direction and the fight got worse. He REALLY wanted to look outside, and I REALLY didn't want him to, but then his head would go up and my hands would go up and we'd just go crazy spasticy all over the place in this weird cantery-trotty circle that was nothing like the shape of a circle and at one point I even made a very frustrated "Arrgghhh!"
From this side, oddly, he wanted to put his head up and race towards the fence, which was hard to stop while I was trying to have him all collected up, AND while thinking about leaning back and keeping my heels kicked in front of me.
Plus, those 10 meter circles and the collected canter? Oh my lord. I'm panting and sweating. When I got to the gym an hour later, my shirt was still soaking wet. (Sorry, gross.)
So, the good part was that for all those fences, he just went towards it and he figured it out, and even when he came in funny on the collected ones, he sorted his legs out without just blasting through it. The hard part was the stupid collected canter we just did, just fine, two days ago. I don't know why it didn't work today. The second time he kept picking up the wrong lead over and over and over and over.
Then Shannon turned the jump onto the long line, turned it into a vertical, had us canter it. No big deal, other than the entire approach before we make the U-turn, I start (on the left lead) yanking on my right hand about five minutes ahead. Even when Shannon is yelling "stop pulling on your right hand!" it just keeps pulling and ignoring me.
Then she put the cone under it. No big deal.
Then she put the cone under it and added a diagonal rail. No big deal.
Then she put the cone under it and turned it into a little oxer. No big deal.
Then she put her jacket on it. YIKES! We went shooting off the right and so I ran him into the wall to make him stop.
We walked back to it, he sniffed it, we made a circle and he went over it.
We came around, came around the corner, and he ran out again. This time we came back to it and he jumped it.
So we did it AGAIN and he did it just fine.
And this part is where it turns out it's me. Shannon said he would have jumped it just fine the first time, but I saw the jacket, don't trust him, and so instead of ...
kicking him forward and riding him assertively and defensively to the fence ...
I started pulling back and tightening him up.
She said I need to get faster and more assertive with my corrections (stop being afraid to use the whip and use it at the moment I need to - we also worked on how to hold my reins both in one hand, like a bridge, so I can use the other hand for a quick smack), but if I want to be an eventer, I have to want to go over the jump.
It's become a huge mental block. I'll make these baby steps, like last week's lesson going over the fence kicking as soon as we round the corner and approaching it, but then the second he does something different (raise his head) I panic and revert to curled up, tipping forward.
Shannon said my lower leg has improved a lot this year, so I'm a lot more stable on him, and she concurs with Mike that I need to learn to ride this or accept that I'm going to be a ploddy-around rider the rest of my life.
It was a great lesson, but oh boy. I just want to learn fast and easy, not this long, difficult way.