The good news is it's not me being an idiot by myself

Willig can be kind of a snake in the grass about jumping. He darts out, really fast, sometimes at the last minute, without a whole lot of warning.
So I can:
- Feel the dart coming sooner; and/or
- React faster.
But that's about it. I know what to do, I'm just not recognizing he's going to dart in time, or reacting in time once I feel it about to happen.

So today we started with the wall. Here's three pieces of good news. First, I can now ride him on a loose rein past the scary end - ho-hum - that just a few months ago I was enviably watching J do and thinking I'd never be able to do that on Willig. Second, I don't get a knot in my stomach the day before my jump lesson. And in fact, this week when I jumped him by myself, I was looking forward to it all day. Yippee! Third, we started with the wall. The solid wall that a year ago I wouldn't even try, and 6 months ago, I did pretty much crying and definitely holding my breath only because I was in a lesson with Shannon. Now it doesn't even look big or imposing. It's just a jump. Yay! Yay! Yay!

Shannon wanted to start with the wall instead of dinking around over a cross rail to make him snap to it. She also suggested that I try some baby spurs she's got because he's getting kind of lazy and inclined to ignore my aids, even though I've gotten better about not anaconda squeezing the aid non-stop.
So as we turned towards the wall - I mean just turned, like 20 - 30' away - he refused. He ran out. So she made us make 10 meter circles in front of the wall, thinking leg yield him toward it, and inching closer and closer and then popping over it.
We did this both directions and then with the lattice and then with the skinny (the three he refused when I was by myself earlier in the week). The point was that it's way more work to be all ditchy, and he might as well just go over it when I point him at it.
The other big thing was getting his attention. He's trying to look at the jump, or another jump, or a thing under a jump, or the poodle, or the pasture, or Shannon, or anything that is not listening to me. So giving a leg aid, asking him to leg yield, giving a smack with the whip, making a noise - so that his attention refocuses on me. This applies in between fences too.
To fix this Shannon also suggested taking scary stuff (like the tarp that's out there and hanging it over a fence) and not jumping, but just riding 6" past it, so that he learns he has to go where I say when I say it, and that it's less work and less scary to just be obedient. She said there was no obvious reason for the ditching (a couple times, I was grabby, but it wasn't causing the ditching).
So then the other big thing we worked on was rhythm. Coming in saying 1-2-1-2 (at the canter) and then when he lands, he likes to dive and kind of barrel along on his forehand, so give him a few really strong half-halts, pull him back up, and then get him back to 1-2-1-2, but not plummeting to a trot or walk (like I usually do) and not riding him all grabby and scared after every fence. It helps me enormously to say it loud to myself on the way to the fence and as soon as we land.
And then to try, even if he comes in fast and flat, not to pull back before the fence, but to let him go.
Although it was lame he was ditching, it was good to deal with it, so that I know that I'm working on the right thing when I'm by myself (and not making it worse) and to just keep plugging away at it. He's kind of a kook. Today he didn't give a rat's ass about the blue barrels, which are normally the bane of his outdoor existence.

I have NEVER ridden with spurs in my life - my lower leg has always been too bad - so it will be very interesting! Which is another good thing - whether Willig comes in short, low, fast, long, or just right - I have been feeling so good and balanced in the air. Shannon got me my jumping seat back!

Another thing I learned from Pony Club D Manual, which apparently every one, including 6 year olds, knew and I didn't, is that you are supposed to clean your tack, then oil it, then saddle soap it. My entire life I have been saddle soaping and then oiling. And clean the tack with a moist, warm sponge after every ride.

I also just finished Jane Savoie's, "It's not just about the ribbons" which I liked. Some of the visuals were helpful, and it was a good reminder to have a positive attitude instead of thinking about negatives. I've been trying to visualize riding my dressage tests instead of just thinking the pattern.