Clinic Day 1 with Major Beale

There was a major breakthrough for me, and then a lot of really cool stuff that I think is still a bit out of my grasp.
Major breakthrough:  One reason I prefer jumping to dressage is how much more comfortable I am in my jumping saddle.  Well, lo and behold, that's because I trot behind the motion in my dressage saddle.  Which is likely why, despite my clumsy sitting trot, I feel like I have better control over the delicate movements when I'm sitting.  In my efforts to have a dressage posture, instead of posting over the movement, I have been launching my shoulders backwards at the top of each post, and therefore, falling behind the motion on every single step.
One teeny tiny correction (thinking of posting up and over my hands) not only made me feel like I was moving with Charlie, but also let my toes turn in and kept my legs from jamming so far forward.  It was huge.  Because I wasn't lurching around, Charlie could move better, and I could do more because I wasn't always behind.  It was really amazing.
Moving into the harder to capture, we worked on my position and posture.  There were three things going on here.  At least, to be kind to myself I'll clump them in three categories.
First, I have this big hollow in my back.  Major Beale was too nice to call it swayback, but that's what I'd call it.  It makes me look like I'm riding titlted forward onto my pelvis with my belly pushed out, which maybe I am, but when he took a whip and set it behind me in the saddle, and there was a huge fist sized gap between my lower back and the whip - I could NOT make the hollow part go flat.  Afterwards, Shannon showed me how she can.  And I can't in yoga or pilates either, so I don't know if it is a function of poor posture, or if it's the way I'm built and I'll never be able to get it back.  But I need to try to think of lifting my rib cage, sucking my belly button into my spinal cord, and then relaxing my hips and legs.
Doing that leads to the second, which is my toes.  In a dressage stirrup, you should think of lifting your toes, not pushing your heels down, because someone should be able to put their finger between your toes and the stirrups and you wouldn't smash it.  Toes should be the part on the stirrup, and your pinky toe should be near the outside of the stirrup bar (big toe to the inside when you jump).  Thinking heels down pushes your lower leg forward (into a defensive jumping position actually) but is hard to use for delicate dressage.  And when you point your toes all crazy in like you're pigeon toed (if you're me) and look down, they're just barely straight.  So when they feel all crazy and pointed in, with loose hips and soft but light touch legs, and the pelvis tucked under and the ribs lifted, for a moment - sitting there still - I could feel that wrap around softness and how if I could stay like that, I could ask Charlie for anything.
Third - my hips.  I'm crooked.  I post crooked - like a snake wiggling back and forth above the saddle (video coming eventually).  I put more weight in my left stirrup.  I sit off to the left, which makes going to the left fine, but is part of why (maybe all of why) we're having such a hard time when we try to go to the right.
Major Beale thinks if I fix my posture and toes, most of that will correct itself, but I need to stand up, shift to the right, and sit down again before cantering to the right.  Until that horribly, horribly awkward canter feels as good as the left side.  This exercise really helped me feel the difference in the weight between my feet also.
Charlie was an absolute dreamboat for the work, which was a lot of transitions and a lot of changes to keep him sharp.  He made it easy for us to focus on me.
Oh, and focus on him.  Instead of sitting there thinking about where my body is supposed to be, look at Charlie (use soft eyes) and see how he's reacting to me and then fix myself using his reaction.
Also, Major Beale said I can get away with this for now, but it's going to catch up with me, and I agree, although I think it already has with all the right turn stuff.
It was really eye opening, maybe a little too eye opening for me to fully absorb it all - especially the parts I can't feel I'm doing - but some of it I could feel a huge difference right away. 
The only downside is how did I get this old and not know how crooked I was?!?
I'm going to see my rolfer to talk about that gap in my back to see if there's anything we can do.