Lesson on 9/2/06 - Bending

I spent the end of this lesson talking about the training level jumps at the show from last weekend, and only the first part riding. I wanted to ride outside because Mercury has been spooking at the gate every time we go past it and driving me crazy. All the things I normally try to do (talk to him, make him do something, go past 100 times in a row) don't make him consistently stop shying. So Bob watched me ride and his very first observation was that it's not Mercury - it's me - that Bob is my security blanket, and when he's there, the reason Mercury is better is because I'm relaxed because he's there.
Later, when Mercury finally acted up, Bob said to be more gentle with my hands, to give him space and push him past, and to talk quietly. He said definitely don't make a big deal out of it, because it just gets Mercury's tiny little brain more wound up.
We worked a lot on bending - on seeing the inside of Mercury's eye in the direction I want him to bend. I need to hold the reins a little shorter - between "2" and "3" on the inside rein and between "3" and "4" on the outside rein. I don't give enough outside rein for him to bend his neck. I also need to practice scooting my fingers up and down the reins.
Bob said I'm still making things too boring for Mercury by just going around the outside of the arena (he's said this one enough now that it's like a broken record, and it's such an easy thing to change). He said make more circles, serpentines, change of direction, and change of speed. The reason I can't is because I'm so busy thinking of the other 50 things, moving him around is just beyond my grasp. Bob said it will get easier with time - the new things will become habits, opening up room for the other new things.
Part of why I just talked the last half of the lesson was because I felt like I had enough to work on for a week, and I wasn't going to absorb more anyway. It doesn't sound like it - typing it out, but it really felt like a lot to handle - wiggling my fingers, keeping him bent, keeping him moving forward, not letting him spook at the gate.
We had the same conversation we always do when I'm feeling insecure. Bob pointed out that the kids riding Training Level probably take 3-4 lessons a week (he named a couple names who do most of the lessons). He said some people benefit from that, and that while I don't need more than one lesson a week, I might benefit from it because what I tend to do is focus so hard on the one thing we worked on that I forget to work on other things. For example, at this lesson I concentrated so hard on bending that I would forget to move him forward.
What I really want Bob to tell me is how good I could be. I know he won't, and I understand why, but I still want to know if my talent combined with hard work is going to get me to Novice and keep me there, or if I can work above that.
I'm writing this too late to capture as many details as I'd like. Some of the stand-out points were:
Don't look down.
Ugh. Hopefully I'll remember when I ride next. Unfortunately Mercury got three days off with the show coming up because we were in Oregon, on the road for 13 hours instead of 8, and then tonight I completely forgot the locker combination and couldn't get in. It makes me want to tear my hair out. I spent a long time today trying to get organized and planning out how to juggle horses and levels and time and lessons and money, so it is frustrating to not remember more of my lesson to get it written down.