Patience with Willig = ROCKSTAR Willig!

I got Willig about 3 1/2 years ago (if I'm remembering correctly). Because we couldn't get his hives under control, I ended up leaving my trainer's barn, and spent the next year working with him by myself.
I am pretty sure, in hindsight, that the last 3 years have been undoing the damage I did in that year by myself. This wasn't entirely by myself, because I also took Willig to some clinics, and that's where we ended up with the really bad fall (trying to jump a ditch - well, successfully jumping the ditch, and then bucking until I flew off) that made me scared until ... today.
And yes, I had nerves again on my way out, and earlier in the week tried to back out using the weather as an excuse.
Well, weather be damned, we just had a great schooling cross country day, even with a total downpour at the end.
Willig jumped EVERY. SINGLE. FENCE. except the "last" one, and then Shannon made us do the course we were doing three more times (mostly because I didn't make a big deal out of it).
He has a harder time with courses than single fences, and an even harder time when there's multiple fences (I think it's horse ADD, and he doesn't know where to focus). So Shannon said at the next show (we're signed up Beginner Novice!) to give him nice long approaches, put his attention on the fence, sit down a few strides out, and ride him assertively! Kick, cluck, growl, use the stick.
He jumped a bunch of log piles of various sizes, some of which looked Novice to me. He jumped off a bank. I had a hard time not jumping, and keeping my butt planted in the saddle and letting the reins run out, so this took a few tries, but he was a trooper every time.
He went in and out of the water, and jumped a bank out of the water.
He had a couple jigs were he came close to a halt (definitely a walk) but jumped BN height totally, totally fine from a walk/halt.
And mostly - he jumped like a dream. We go left pretty badly after each fence (I have no idea what I'm doing to make that happen), but my heels and legs felt GREAT, and even with the few awkward ones, I felt nice and balanced over his back.
And then we did a little 4-fence BN course, with brush in front and a hill and everything, in the slick wet tall grass, and other than the jig and half-ass refusal (and then jumped from the halt), he was gorgeous! It was fun again!
Except for Shannon, her daughter, Willig, and me were just completely soaking. Shannon and her daughter's feet were totally soaked (mine were too from the lunging), and I had my helmet, but each time I glanced down water just poured onto my saddle. So I really, really, really appreciated them being out there to help me out.
And now I am actually looking forward to the rest of this year's show season. We may just make a recognized show at the end of the season!
A few other reflections:
Shannon came out and schooled with me last year sometime. That time, he had a few bucking episodes, and it took us like 20 minutes to jump the bank the first time. NOTHING like that this time! Progress! Grass growing!
The "good rider" book I was raving about a few posts back talks about how even a great rider gets nerves, but the good reward feeling he gets at the end is proportional to the nerves at the start. I've been reminding myself of that when I get that knot in my stomach. That knot means good things are coming ... even maybe sometimes a few hours away.
The patience approach that Mike and Shannon advocated worked. We backed WAY off from what we were trying to do in the clinics, and they told me to trust it and take my time, and lo and behold - he's like a different horse. And he's not jumping them out of terror, but actually jumping them. And he's a gorgeous jumper to ride - he has a moment of suspension that is just divine in the air.
So, yes, of course I wished that I didn't mess up for those few years, but I learned some good stuff. And since we're not superstars (just rockstars), Willig has lots of good years left (he's 10 this year) to really improve on this stuff and make a lot of progress in dressage.