Humble pie jump lesson

Meg and I had a jump lesson on Tuesday this week because she and the Caber crew are going to Spokane instead of EI to start the season at the end of the week.  It was a good lesson, but good in the sense that I was learning things the slow, hard, stupid way instead of the naturally talented way.
First, I asked John my series of questions (why is my truck squeaking (ball needed grease), should I worry about Charlie's stifle (no, I will just make myself neurotic; it would swell if the suspensory ligament was rubbing on the end of the bone); did I ride the tall bank correctly (maybe); how do you ride the downhill with a half stride (he didn't know); can I do my lesson next Tuesday (yes)).
Then we rode.
We started with a vertical, but Charlie got a bug in his ear and couldn't handle it and I had to stop and try to get it out, and then we rode anyway, but he spent so much time shaking his head, we kept coming in wrong.  I didn't stop again because I wanted him to learn he had to work even if there was a bug in his ear.  After we did that jump several times, John stopped us and rubbed Charlie's ear for him.  John is apparently a better ear rubber than me.
Then we did an oxer going both directions, and I had some trouble getting Charlie uphill but not strung out (same problem I was having with vertical, although I thought that was because of the ear bug; and spoiler alert, the same problem I had all the way through the lesson).  It was a big oxer.  I think it was at John's belly and I meant to get off and check afterwards but forgot.
Then we did an airy vertical plank on a 4 stride line to an oxer, and angled the oxer.  I could not get the first fence and jumped it like a spazz several times.
From there, we went to a combination with three - a one stride to two stride.  John had me do the plank going the other way, then whip Charlie, then do it again.  That definitely sparked Charlie up.
From there, we did the combination backwards - the oxer - two stride - vertical - one stride - vertical - 5 stride to an oxer.  Both Meg and I flubbed this.  My flub was that we rode this - like two lessons ago and the lesson before that too - and the line is a straight line, then bend - like 1 1/2 strides of straight, not a bend in the air over the final fence of the combination.  John was mad because we both had ridden it, knew the line, and yet neither of us thought to ride it that way.  We just kept riding it as a bending line and coming in at a weird place.
This is where I got really frustrated.  I would have just ridden it with an awkward leap over and over and over again, never stopping to think how it needed to be ridden differently.  As soon as John gave up and reminded me, it rode perfectly.  But I'm mad because it didn't occur to me; and I already knew it.
John said that I need to ride Charlie uphill to the fences, that yes, he needs to be more responsive to my leg (each fence, it felt like we were just running out of steam as we got closer, but John says I am actually charging at each one), but that the fences are getting big enough that Charlie comes in cocky and ready to launch and then is like "oh shit" (my words) and kind of scrambles over it and that's where we get in trouble.  If I bring him in uphill, even if he doesn't have as much forward, he can rock back and get over it.  But if I bring him in forward, he comes in flat and downhill and can't get over it without some histrionics.
We ended with a discussion about clients, how there are some who expect John to fit them in the very next day (same for Meg, same for me) and others who are regular.  I may not be John's most talented student, but I'm nothing if not diligent in planning ahead and trying to keep a regular schedule.
I talked with John about this several lessons ago, but I am sliding back downhill again on the curve of competency, realizing just how much I don't know, but more, when I watch Meg, how much Charlie saves my ass and how must I trust him to do that.  I'm not sure that is making me a better rider, although the fact that I'm able to complain about Charlie taking care of me too much shows that I am truly capable of complaining about anything.
I am quite nervous about the show season.  I really want Charlie and I to rock the region and get ready for prelim.