Tough lesson.

It was about 85 today, but it felt very hot.  Charlie was sluggish and didn't want to bend.
He got pretty round, but he had to lose speed to do it.  John said that round and a bit slow is better than fast and strung out for his dressage test.
He was doing the thing where he refuses to bend to the left, so John had us do turn on the forehands, and when he still wouldn't bend, John took my whip to whip Charlie from the ground.  Charlie was so surprised he kicked his own inside leg with his left hind leg and left a nice big gash.
The lesson should have been satisfying because even though Charlie started out stiff as a board and like we were moving through molasses, he ended up pretty nice and round.  But it was frustrating because I was exhausted trying to ride him, and I'm not sure I can accomplish it on my own without John talking me through each step.
I said if I got him round and rode him round consistently, eventually he would add the speed, and John said not necessarily.  He said he had some advanced horses that never really connected (I forget which verb he used) and he just worked around it because they had other strengths.
So what did John do to get him round?
We did some canter serpentines, leg yield, 10 meter circles, and shoulder in.  10 meter circles were both trot and canter.
Every once in a while, I could feel Charlie lift his shoulder and all of a sudden it was all there, but it only lasted a few steps and went away again.  It was like he was saying "I CAN do this.  I am just choosing not to."  I couldn't tell anything I was doing different that made it happen sometimes and not other times.
We also did some work at the sitting trot, including some bigger sitting trot.  As much as I hate this, it doesn't feel quite as horrible as it used to, so I guess that's progress.
John had me shorten my reins, use a steady outside rein, and then ask for bend with inside rein and inside leg.  Sometimes with a leg yield step to the outside.  Once he had me jiggle the rein so that it was out of sync with his strides, and that got Charlie to snap to attention for a second.
I think what is hard is I feel the couple of great steps, but I don't know what makes them happen - they seem to be blind dumb luck.  But I don't really feel the round over the top line (although it is easier to feel at the sitting trot - I can actually sit, vs. when he's strung out and it's like having your back shaken like a rag doll), he just feels slow.  So I need to get that feel in order to know when it's a good slow vs. just a lazy slow.