Plant a seed and water it

Today John taught me the different canter aids to get a lengthening from Duke on each side, since his right canter lengthening is harder to do than his left.  We also talked about the methods of teaching it, and how although many people like to teach canter lengthening on a circle (which is the way it rides in Training test A this year), it is harder to do, because there are more aids needed (the circle aids) in addition to the lengthening aids.  Duke does a better lengthening (and come back) on a straight line, which is what is in the Training 3 Day, but I have been asking him first on the long side, then using the same aids to ask him on the circle, so he puts them together, and he seems to be catching on to that.
John suggested that maybe what I want to care about for the test is having him on the bit as my #1 priority ...
First, the geometry of the circle is important because if I have a weird squashed circle, Duke can't properly lengthen because he is having to lean in or lean out or move in or out or push his haunches in or out because the circle isn't really a circle.  So I need to pay attention to that and not be sloppy on the shape of my circles.
For the right lengthen, I ask for it with my hips instead of so much with my legs.  I put my right leg up at the girth and my left leg a little behind, and then I push him longer with my hips and then bring him back by thinking "slower slower slower" with my hips.  Where the "come back" aid goes wrong is I make my hips go still, he goes to trot, then I kick him with my legs and he's like "What?!" and lurches forward.  So I have to do a gradual slowing with the hips.
For the left lengthen, I ask more with my legs (but same, outside a little back).  Here, I think more about also asking for sort of a leg yield, pushing him out with the inside leg at the same time, to keep the circle shape.
To get him ready for it, when he's stiff, I counter bend, and then keep the outside hand still and ask for bend with the inside hand.  If he just needs a little correction because he's just a little stuck, I can twitch the outside rein instead of counter bending.
John said his method of teaching me is to plant a seed and then water it, and then he can tell I've thought about it, because a few weeks later I'll come back with questions based on the seed he planted.  He said he has some students where they're more instantaneous light bulb, but this way, I get there myself after he plants the seed.  He also said that what he was preventing in the lesson last Wednesday, when I wanted to stop and overanalyze it, was just to ride through it and ride by feel and instinct, which is contrary to my preferred style.
We had a philosophical discussion to start, because on the way down I was thinking about how grateful I am that he is so patient to teach me, even though it must be really frustrating because he has to keep telling me the same thing over and over and over, and that this is the only thing I've really done in life where I have to keep being told the same thing.  And how it's frustrating for me too (and how two years ago, he told me to tell him when I was frustrated), but that I also think that's part of why it's rewarding - I work SO HARD to get a tiny bit better, and I am SO GRATEFUL to have John patiently helping, helping, helping, helping.  When I think about where Duke was a little less than a year ago to now - no, it's not what I want to be going Training level, but it's also so, so much better than our first few months.  And John told me it would take a year to get to know a new horse.  And when I think about where I was the first time John taught me, and just how much fortitude it must take to watch someone who sucks so badly and help them, step by step, suck a little less and a little less.  That made me think that John has been the most stable part of my life the last five years, and out of all the bad decisions I've made, he wasn't one of them.  More than that, he's taught me about myself, and he's taught me how to trust myself - the HUGE lesson in trusting what I felt with Duke, even though what I wanted on paper was a different horse, and how *I* had to know that, I couldn't pass it to him.  It was a great lesson and a great conversation, and I guess the takeaway (and I'm not sure why I'm in such a sappy mood) is that if I die tomorrow, I hope my last thoughts are happy ones (and based on the Charlie crushing me experience, they'll at least be peaceful and ok with it), and most of my happy thoughts have been on horses, in the last few years, thanks to John.  Plus Easy Ridge.  Plus Odin.  Plus Zeb.  And K2.  Maybe a few other rocks, mountains, and wild places.