Another draw rein lesson

Duke was a little stiff yesterday, after his hard workout in the draw reins on Saturday, so instead of jumping today, John had us do another flat lesson.
This one was kind of easier and kind of harder than Saturday.  It was easier, because it was just a couple days after, so I felt like what John said Saturday was still stuck in my head and he could build on it a little bit.  It was harder because I felt like he was mostly having to repeat what he said Saturday, and then I got frustrated, and then I got mad and then didn't ride well.
We worked on leg yielding, lengthening the canter and the trot, and bending.
I had a few really good moments, where I could feel the connection from inside leg to outside hand, and I also had a moment where I realized "wow, John can ride every horse every step with what he is telling me (and probably 1,000x more) and that's why when he rides a horse, even for 15 minutes, it is amazing to get on that horse."  But then I was mad because *I* want to be able to do that by myself, not with John having to say an aid every second.
One way I can help Duke is by making my aids more distinctive.  The lengthen aid is both legs on/off/on/off, the bring back aid is squeezing my legs and doing a half halt with the outside hand.
I don't PULL him into a down transition, I push him into it with my legs.
I have to give with my hands when he has responded, not just squeeze and hold.
It was a good lesson, and Duke felt really good, and much softer than when I rode him yesterday (by myself).  But I had to race there and then race home to work again, and I'm getting burned out by this job and it is undermining my confidence and I just want some tiny amount of control over my own schedule and not a bunch of crises that were completely predictable and yet land on my desk once they're blowing up.