Draw rein lesson with John

Today we had a dressage lesson, but after Charlie refused to bend his neck (and quit tilting his head), even after I rode around with my inside hand up and back for FOREVER, John got the draw reins and a whip and made Charlie work his buns.  Charlie had the nerve to kick out at John when he used the whip.
Peaches rode Charlie the last two days, and I could totally feel the difference when we got on, but I just could not make Charlie bend or engage his hind end.  Peaches said that the first day was a stretchy ride, but the next day she really made him work, and he kept his ears back and under protest until the last five minutes when he finally softened and she could ride with a loose rein.  She said she just kept pushing him into it until he did the work himself and then worked him for just five minutes and quit.  She said some horses (not all ?!?) are lazy like that about dressage.
When John put the draw reins on, Charlie's shoulders suddenly lifted and he got easy to sit, but it was still a struggle to keep him going.
John suggested that he needs a couple rides in draw reins just before the show, and Peaches said that draw reins are an aid until I learn how to coordinate the leg/seat/hand aids and don't need the draw reins to help me with it.
It was a good lesson, but I was in a mood, and so I feel really frustrated.  I'm ready to start getting it instead of just pounding my head against the wall.

John did say that organizers can split open classes however they want, and that it is usually "experienced" and "less experienced".  So it wasn't an accident that all the pros were in one class, or that I was in that class (with other amateurs).  I am going to try to take it as a sign that Charlie and I are doing well since it is still our first year riding Training level, and we didn't get in the class with the regular peeps.