Recalibration

I had a nice, steady lesson on Charlie today. He gave me just enough to work on to not be cocky (not that I have any reason to be after riding 3 times in the last month) but we made satisfying progress and I felt like I got it. Shannon's tip for when I'm riding by myself is to work on bending both ways and then going straight. She said Charlie was overbent to the left and stiff to the right. We worked on the proper response to the spooking (after she rode him this week, it's getting him in front of my leg and then letting him go up and down instead of faster forward or sideways) and then counter canter, which feels so wonky around the corners. News flash - even when counter cantering, they should bend in the "proper" direction (towards the inside). It was a great lesson, satisying on multiple levels, but I'm just too pooped from my month of work to do it justice describing it. I'm written out.

Sir Spooksalot

Charlie, with his generous heart, today gave me lots of time to work on how to ride him when he's being a little squirrely about rain and wind and boogeymen. In addition to the same old (legs under me, not behind me; left hand closed and back; right hand not gripping with death grip), what we worked on was doing the opposite of what I want to do - making him feel confident in me. I used inside leg (away from the spooky thing), and inside hand to pat, and then outside leg and hand to stay firm. And if the wind was particularly rattling, I did a bit of shoulder-in and planned ahead. In theory. In practice, I pretty much flunked every single time past, but at least we figured out what I do wrong (hit with whip and clench hands) and so now I know what to practice doing right. As we warmed up, my feet are now creeping back behind me, so I need to feel like they're in front of me like a chair. And my left hand is a wimp and my right hand is a lunatic control freak. It is very, very, very hard to get the left hand to stay firm and in place while softening with the right hand. Almost impossibly hard. So that needs a lot of practice time.

3'8" & a 4' (spread) oxer

The primary lesson from the flat from this week's John lesson was to really pull Charlie together - not to let him schlep around on the forehand. I can do this with John (or anyone) correcting me from the ground, but I'm still struggling with identifying the right level on my own. Mostly, it is pushing him forward so he has impulsion, then "channeling" it with "side-rein" hands and using my core for half-halts. I also need to work more on heels down and forward (not swinging behind me), sitting up tall, and Charlie's bend to the inside. Over fences, we started with this little vertical, and both Charlie and I (but particularly me) jumped it like we'd never jumped anything before. But as John gradually raised it, Charlie got rounder and bouncier as we came to it. I like how John gradually changes things, so I can keep working on what I'm trying to do (I am soooo slow) but don't have to think about a new fence in a new location. So I could work on coming around the first corner (the critical time period), looking at the fence, sitting up, keeping my leg on, keeping the rhythm consistent, and then a little half halt with leg on for a SPRING over the fence. Charlie really rounds up and gets interested when the fence gets taller or wider, which means he jumps easier and better and I have less to do. John said that when Shannon switched to Training from Novice that's when Charlie really started to shine, so hopefully I can pull my act together and not make him stay at Novice too long. After we got the vertical all the way up to 3'8" (from a trot) and Charlie had a couple really nice round fences, then we switched to an oxer. Oxers are easier to canter (first, at least) because they are wider, and there's more impulsion coming in from the canter. For this one, we worked on the same thing - it wasn't that high, but John gradually made it wider and wider (with a pole laid diaganolly across it). So again, I worked on a nice, bouncy, even canter, sitting up around the corner and half-halting, keeping my eye up, and then kicking at the fence. Charlie was a total rock star over this one. His ears picked up and when the fence got wide, I had to quit looking at it because it was so huge, but Charlie just ROCKED it. The take away was that when I could keep all the "tips" in my head, and when Charlie perked up, I could ride pretty easy to the fence and to the spot, and it felt really smooth. So that felt great. What still needs work is I can't consistently "see ahead" what's going to go wrong in time to fix it. I really like the John lessons. At the end, I always look at the fences with awe, but he builds them up so gradually that each lesson builds confidence without being overwhelming.

Pitiful helpless left hand

We worked more on the hard circle today - going to the right, spiraling in - and were able to further identify the problem. While I can put my left hand up the neck no problem, when I try to put my right hand up, my left hand follows it. And if I try to hold it still, my whole body bends to try to follow it. We did a few other exercises where all I could feel was that terrible limp left hand not doing its job, like riding in a straight line in the canter off the rail, and we'd just drift, drift, drift to the left because my left hand couldn't "block the water" like the Centered Riding analogy has for the hose. Shannon made me first try to bend each way (couldn't bend to the left) and then ride a leg yield (?) in to the right off the left leg, which forced my left hand to clamp down and my left leg to do its job. It was a very good, but very frustrating lesson. When we peeled that layer off the onion to "polish" I had no idea how difficult this next level was going to be. I can't wait until future me is looking back and reading this and being relieved that the phase was over with. In other words, keep the faith present Martha.

Sinister left hand!

My left hand ran amok today. After a brief warm up and review of some of the position suggestions I had from Major Beale and John, we started working on the circle that spirals in and spirals out. This was ok going to the left, but when we tried going to the right (clockwise), things fell apart. It took a while to figure out where the source of the problem was (for me), but it ended up being my left hand, which refused to obey me. We had to go way, way down - to a halt - and then very slowly and deliberately work our way back up to the spiral circle in and out at the trot. It was infuriating that I couldn't get my hand to obey me, and that it threw off the whole exercise so dramatically. It was also good to get it isolated - and fixed - so that I can work on that on my own. The list of things I am working on, though, has gone from "proficient but polishing" to "everything" and so I am wrestling a bit with overthinking every single thing and not being able to keep them all in my head. Charlie was moving nice (once we got going) and my seat at the canter felt really improved, but that hand! Good lord!

Challenged by simplicity

Today's weather was sunshine with intermittent holy fury of god rainstorms. We tacked up in the rainstorm. Got inside and watched the rider before us finishing in sunshine. Started riding in rainstorm. Had to strain to hear John in rainstorm. Then, once tired and wanting excuse of couldn't hear, sunshine. Then cooled off in rainstorm. You get the drift. Now that fall is upon us, I had my first inside John lesson. He had a very simple set-up - a single white vertical and then a 2 stride combination, vertical to vertical, but with flowers and colorful rails. First he gave me some pointers on the same posture issues that I've been working on with Shannon and that Major Beale identified. For my clamped right knee, which he says comes from too tight quad, open the knee. I was shocked, and then looked at my left knee and saw it looked the same. Rolling the knee open means the quad can't overpower the rest of my leg, and it, somewhat unexpectedly, puts the front of my calf on Charlie as my aid instead of the back. Then for the arched back, he said for dressage, think of something poking a finger right in between your shoulder blades, and you want to grab it with your shoulder blades. For the lower back, think about a flat palm against your shoulder blades and pushing into it, and also lengthening the rib cage up - like making more space between your hip and the bottom of your rib cage, but also elevating the whole rib cage, like a balloon is tied to it. Then, after you get used to those feelings, you undo them just a bit - so your knee doesn't really fly out a mile above the saddle. We did a bit of warm up, and I had a hard time keeping Charlie together instead of strung out. I think we were both tired from the clinic. Then we jumped the white fence as a cross rail, vertical, bigger vertical, much bigger vertical. My main instruction was to sit up around the corner, half halt at the corner, and then, infuriatingly, every single time I went to the left (we were riding a clockwise circle) when I landed. John put down a rail which helped a bit. I needed to use my left hand and my right leg - Charlie was coming in crooked (the same crooked from Major Beale's clinic, his haunches in, so bulging out through his left shoulder - off my right leg in other words), and I'd try to straighten him which would push us further left (instead of pushing with my left leg to straighten him into the center of the fence, I'd push with my right and get us even further towards the standard). This tiny little simple thing eluded me, and the elusiveness chased me to the next exercise on the combination. Here, we did it both directions, and for the life of me, I could not ride the damn thing straight, even though it was only two strides in between. Eventually, John had me halt afterwards, side pass to the right (off the left leg) and then turn left and go again. Shannon also said we tended to chip the first fence, so even though I was counting, I was coming in funny. John pointed out that I might be able to scoot through a double, but a triple, as I drift to the left each fence, is going to make us off on the strides and really hard for Charlie to bunch up and go over it. So the key take-away for this week's triple combination? STRAIGHTNESS! I was feeling sorry for myself and how pitiful a rider I was, but then I looked at the dressage pyramid and was pleased to see that straightness at least was not the very bottom of the pyramid. Charlie jumps like a champ though. The fences weren't really that big (I checked when we walked past cooling off - they were just BN), but he was really rounding up over them.

2nd day of Major Beale clinic

One freak change led to fortuitous happenstance at today's clinic. Due to some scheduling changes, we brought my dressage saddle for Charlie. Even though things shifted again and I didn't need it, I was too lazy to take it off, so I started my ride in it. Major Beale said that it helped my seat tremendously, and from now on, to ride Charlie in that saddle. So hats off to fortune! Today's ride made me feel a little less like a waste of his time and a lot more like the cherry on the slice of humble pie. First, and the most glaring follow up from yesterday, was he took my whip and set it on the saddle behind my butt (so it ran up my back and ended at my helmet). Then he had me put my hand behind my back to feel how big the gap was between my back and my whip. Then he had me try to suck my back into the whip - which was close to impossible for me to do without rounding my shoulders. When I finally got it right, it felt like I was hunched forward in my shoulders, even though actual hunched forward is a very different feeling. So I am going to tackle that all winter - with the mirrors in our arena, and at work and home with one of those inflatable balls and mirrors. I am pretty sure what I am missing is "stacking the blocks". Next, we worked again on straightness. The big revelation here is that the source of the problem is I can't feel straight - I can't feel the back end of the horse, whether it's crooked or straight or which way (or which hind foot is stepping underneath). So this is another one Shannon is going to work with me on over the winter. Another instruction was to watch my leg - it likes to creep backwards, and I need to give the aid from the girth. Major Beale suggested thinking of my bringing my seat forward over my leg, instead of my leg backward under my seat. Then we did a whole series of different exercises from yesterday, which sadly I am not going to do justice to. The main take away was how good Charlie felt, and the consistent things I needed to do were: keep my hands the soft "wall" that stopped the forward energy and let it "poof" up - but the "poof" comes from using my core as the real brake, not my hands pulling backwards; continuing to work on knees and toes pointed forward (toes feels pigeon toed) and the front of my leg giving the aid and the rest of the time staying off his side; steering Charlie like a wheelbarrow, with both hands making a tunnel for him; using the left leg as a block - to stop him from bulging out from the strong right leg; in the canter, again using my stomach to root my seat into the saddle - when this plugs in it feels so solid and wonderful. We worked on shoulder-in down the long side, then lengthening circles or halt transitions; and leg yields down the long side facing the wall keeping the momentum going and not slowing down. Major Beale explained what I call the poof as kinetic vs. potential energy. Kinetic energy is a horse moving forward. Potential energy is impulsion. I get the idea of impulsion, and I feel like I'm just the hair's breadth away from the light bulb going off so that I can make it happen on my own. Just like yesterday, it felt amazing, and Charlie was, like always, a total champ and good sport, helping me out as best he could. It was such an incredible experience and I'm so lucky to have had this opportunity.

More humble pie

I'm pretty close to as humbled as you can get. Today was my first time riding in a clinic with Major Beale, and for my overview, I told him that as I've worked closely with Shannon on Charlie this year, as we progressed, I began to realize that I was fudging the basics. As one example, Charlie is usually bent to the right. Major Beale then proceeded to turn my whole world on its ear. First, he had me walk both directions. Then I rode a circle at the trot, each direction without my inside stirrup. Then he told me that my right leg is clamped on - without the stirrup, it doesn't move, but with both stirrups, it is so dominant that I post crooked - up and to the left. So that makes Charlie's left shoulder bulge out, which makes me clamp on with my right hand, which bends him to the right, which ends up in that "C" shape to the right. So he said, innocently enough, that we'd work on correcting that. Here's my confession. I wanted him to see me ride, identify a tiny fix, and then praise me for having a wonderful natural seat despite really only having a couple years of good training from Mike and Shannon. I didn't know I wanted this until I was pouring sweat at the end of the ride. So the primary exercise we did was standing up in the stirrups, at the trot for half the arena, then a shoulder-fore or haunches-out down the other side of the arena. Then we worked without stirrups completely on the canter, on a circle, and for this one, we worked on pulling my legs away from the saddle (hard to do, even without stirrups), and then tucking my tail-bone under but not arching my back. For both of these, we also worked on asking Charlie to keep his impulsion with only the whip - no leg - because the second I'd quit thinking about my leg, it would start clamping on him again. We also worked on the inside track - I think to keep me from using the outside rail as a crutch. Every once in a while, I would pull it all together, and there would be that moment of magic like I had in the lesson with Shannon a couple lessons ago - where I felt everything fall into place, and I was completely and utterly plugged in to Charlie and felt perfectly in place. Most of the time, I felt like my body had a mind of its own and was impossible for me to control. Major Beale will say to stretch my leg long, and I would try to stretch it long, but it would pretty much blow me off. We also had very humiliating moment (for me) where he asked me how to steer, and I guessed pretty much everything under the sun BUT the reins. I can't even bear to repeat everything I guessed other than the reins. It was a brilliant lesson, and he did a great job seeing all my foibles (the humble pie for me), and those moments felt incredible, but it's just that I thought I was an ok rider, and it turns out I know close to nothing. I WANT to know this stuff, I just wish I had learned it earlier. It's also just a bit out of my grasp. I feel it when it is right, I am just not sure how to control my body to make it right. Also, my right hip and my sacrum are SORE already!

Ride every step!

Today's jump lesson at John's started like we'd been shot out of a cannon. Instead of my usual style of poking around for 30 minutes "warming up", we did our flat warm up, a cross rail at a trot, a vertical at a canter, and then moved right into an oxer with a hard left turn to a panel (I missed it the first time). From there, we did several courses, the only common element being oxers and a bendy line (oxer to vertical to vertical). What this showed was my weaknesses, and doing so many variations gave me several chances to fix them. What would usually happen would be I'd fix one, but drop another one, so while I had good fences, I don't think I ever rode an entire course without errors (error = sloppy jump on my end). For example, I'd kind of angle the oxer to vertical to vertical to make it a straight line, because I had trouble making the two bends (sitting up, half halting was key #1). When I tried to ride it bend to bend, I'd miss the strides and we'd have to chip or launch. What I needed to do was ride straight to the middle of each fence, which required me to ride very precisely and not just shoot around. But usually I'd have to not screw up on the oxer - if I did, my reactions weren't fast enough to correct in between the two. A couple of times I got it right, which felt amazing. The big lesson was to ride precisely. Second, adjust my canter - lengthen it and then half halt before the corner to the fence - then sit up tall, ride to it, and keep my hands planted so I don't mess with stuff at the last second. Like always, look ahead to the next fence, and use that outside rein (and outside leg!) to make those tight corners. I was panting the entire way through the lesson, and bright red, but afterwards, we walked the fences and they were just regular old beginner novice height, so making the course more technical really worked a number on me. Although the one line I did that Holly got to skip (thank god Shannon trained Charlie to be such a champ), had an oxer in to a 2 stride (?) to a vertical. I am pretty sure I have never in my life ridden an oxer to a vertical (it's always vertical to oxer) and it was amazing the difference it made in how I looked at the line. It was a GREAT lesson that made me wish I had more time during the week to practice so I could hopefully speed up the retraining of some of these sticky bad habits. Actually, it makes me wish I could only ride - be a working student half time for a dressage trainer and half time for a jumper. That would be pretty much the coolest life ever.

Dyno move - or Flip Side of the Coin

Today's lesson is going to be one big analogy and not a lot of description about what we were actually doing, but bear with me for the explanation why. Ok, this summer, as we progressed into 2nd level movements, it dawned on me that I have been, perhaps, fudging the basics. I am the walking, talking example of why going the long route is the short route as we re-start my basics and undo my bad habits. That means that over the last month, I have spent my time riding thinking this: 1. toes in; 2. heels down; 3. legs forward; 4. hips open; 5. stomach tight (keeps my back from being sway back); 6. shoulders up and down (slide my shoulder blades down my back); 7. stomach tight (I have to do it again after my shoulders); 8. hands even (horizontal and vertical plane); and 9. elbows on hips. What this did was neglect the other basics - moving forward and not slogging around the arena, so today's lesson brought that to the forefront. We ignored my stupid heels and worked on Charlie moving forward. This is what I both love and hate about riding. I love that it is always a challenge - that there is always room to grow. But I hate how I can have been riding for 20 years and still need a lesson on moving a horse forward. I KNOW that if you could get to Grand Prix after 5 years of riding, I would have quit riding at year 6, but sometimes I wonder whether I'm the worst rider in the universe that at 20 years, I'm still working on what feels like basics. So I have to look for objective information, and what I'm going to focus on here is the training pyramid and impulsion. But I think the training pyramid should really be a training staircase - or, more realistically, a dyno board. I used to do a lot of rock climbing, and one of my least favorite exercises were pull-ups on the dyno board. You'd hang from it and do a pull up, then launch yourself up one level and do a pull-up on a slightly smaller grip, then launch yourself up and do a pull-up on just your fingertips, etc. And making the jump from one stage of the pyramid to the next is kind of like this wall, and you're beating your head against it, and then you figure out how to leap, fall off, and then leap again until you get the grip and scramble up. Then you fall off again, but this time you climb up faster. So the flip side of the coin is that I ride for the challenge, but I also prefer the times when I'm victorious on top of the step. But after a little while up there, I'm ready for the next step. And the tricky part is that you can't really see the steps above you until you're on them - you think you're doing ok because you can't see just how many steps there are. At least, I have. It feels like I have been beating my head against this particular step for a year now. While I'm glad to be improving (now I know the step is there, which I did not know two years ago), I'm ready to be scrambling onto that step instead of still looking at it. Today's lesson was a good example of how I'm standing at the base of it looking up. At the end of the lesson, I have a few glimpses of the top of the step, but I am completely incapable of describing what I DO when I ride to get that feeling. When I am alone, getting that feeling is the exception rather than the rule, but I can now get it every once in a while. And I recognize it when it's there, but I don't know to get it. So that means I can't really describe what we did today. I know it's the step, and I like how it feels on the top, and it's the essential next step, I just wish the reward was coming a little faster.

Rider, correct thyself!

Yesterday Shannon and I went down to Caber for another lesson with John. Starting at the end, we both jumped this whopper fence - an oxer that I think was at least training level height! Shannon did it on Holly, which was amazing to see a good rider teaching a young horse, and I did it on Charlie, who thought it wasn't a big thing, but it looked enormous to me! The lesson from the flat was to turn from the outside, when Charlie cocks his head instead of bending, lift that hand up (and then drop it when he corrects), and to sit up long and tall. The main two lessons over the fence were to keep my eyes up (look at the last rail of the last fence in the grid until we get there - don't gaze off unfocused into space), and to correct myself and not wait for John to tell me (or Shannon) - I kept drifting left along the grid from the start to the end, and I didn't fix anything until John told me to switch my whip and then use that left leg. After the fence, the lessons were to sit up around the corners, and to keep those damn heels down! After our warm up on the flat (some lengthening and collection with proper bend), we did a small cross rail which very quickly turned into a vertical (changing direction after it like a figure 8), and then the vertical to a much bigger rail with a vertical and the same figure 8. John said that we tend to relax after about 5-10 fences, and that at a show, that'll come up a lot sooner, so to keep riding every fence. Then we did a grid with three fences, and John turned the final vertical into an oxer, and then gradually raised it. It was an excellent confidence-building exercise because the grid worked on us, and the oxer was so gradual, that by the end, looking back at it, I was amazed at how smoothly it rode. It was another GREAT lesson.

Sit up tall

Today was my first jump lesson with Shannon at John Camlin's (Caber Farm). I was nervous, and as we pulled up, he had his stadium course set almost to the top of the standards, which I did not find soothing. I think Shannon could do those on Charlie, but that's still a long way off for me. Interesting wildlife spotting: a garter (?) snake - a big one - cruising across the arena, which John took and put back outside the arena while Shannon and I rode far away to the far, far side. We did some warm up, and my main points to remember were: keep him round and "up" (not long and low), going left - bend him to the left, and push him into the outside rein and keep that contact. I had to do some half halts and it was a bit more than I usually do, but Charlie was really responsive and pushing him just that extra tiny bit made a big difference in how "bouncy" he felt. That same approach also (surprise!) applied to the fences. If I balanced him in the corner, especially using the outside rein, but used some leg and half halt a few strides out from the fence, we'd approach it with more of a "bounce", and he could lift his front end over instead of kind of flop over it. (Not that Charlie ever flops, but the tiny adjustment I made helped make the fence feel a lot more "floaty".) In addition to the ever-present "heels down" my other big fix was to sit up tall, shoulders back. As the course continues, I hunch more and more over, like I'm rolling into a ball. It was amazingly hard to do, just to sit up tall, so I walked around the rest of the day, reminding myself to stand tall. That's a muscle memory issue I have no excuse for not fixing (other than 36 years of not fixing it) because I don't have to be on a horse to do it! It was really fun to be there with Shannon on Holly, and I really liked John's approach - gradually building as we progressed, more than I would ever push myself, but not too much (as Shannon aptly described it). Plus, if Holly is ready to compete next year, then we can go together! We did a cross rail from the trot, then canter, making a figure 8 (from right, from left, etc.). Then we added a 5 stride line, then a 4 stride line, then a 4 stride to a 3 stride, then the 4 stride to 3 stride to 5 stride back to 3 stride. Charlie was excellent. He's an absolute delight to ride. John said to keep my eye on training level and keep him working, not just slack because we're only going to do novice next year, and that the number one thing I'll need to keep in mind is to (my words) ride Charlie every step - I let him flop around because he can get away with it (at this level) and I need to start riding him like I'm going to ride Training level. It made me feel like a rock star, to ride in a lesson with Shannon - like I've finally proven my worth. Even if it's all to her credit - she did all Charlie's training and got me to the point where I could actually ride him. It was such a great way to spend Tuesday morning.

Pincher legs

Today was a big, fat slice of humble pie. It hurts my pride to even relive the lesson again, but I think it's a necessary step if I want to improve as a rider. Even though it's only a few tweaks to bad habits, to build new muscle memory, they are making me ride like an idiot who has never been on a horse or even seen someone ride a horse. I am struggling particularly with my big poofy butt that likes to sit out behind me, underneath a horrible sway back which is on the other side of a rotund buddha belly. When I try to put my poofy butt underneath me, I lift my pelvic bone (the third leg of the stool with the two seat bones) up in the air, and lean way back. When I try to suck in my stomach to straighten my back, I lift my shoulders up to my ears. Anytime I think about anything going on with my butt or back, I clench my butt and thighs, making me a pellet rolling around on top of the saddle. It's horrible. The bright light is at least I quit sticking my tongue out from the concentration anytime Shannon asks me to do something and my left toe is a tiny bit more forward. And - I have Shannon's help, and hours to look forward to on Willig where I'll have nothing else to do but concentrate on body position. So if I'm ever going to fix it, now's the best possible time. It's just horrible - not only to have to go through this gangly awkward phase, but to question all the hours I've spent on a horse so far and how I blustered my way through so many shows. And why so many horses have forgiven me. That being said, from when we started today (me sitting still, and moving my body around to try to make it right so I could feel when it was right - which I would immediately not be able to repeat and we'd have to go through it all again), to where we ended, was pretty cool. What isn't so cool is that I can't say (yet) why or how to repeat it. What happened at the end was all of a sudden, I felt like I was in the right place. I was relaxed, didn't have to fight or struggle or squirm, and could just ride. I could do transitions and sit and go around in a circle and not need to mess with anything. So it was great to feel that - like a glimpse of nirvana - to remind me of what I'm working toward. And it's great to know I can do it, I just have to figure out what got us there and how to stay there on my own. So thank god for Shannon's patience (and Charlie's), and many long hours of work appear to be ahead. But it's for a good cause - I don't want any pictures or videos of my left toe pointing out NW next year, and I want to help Charlie do the best job he can. (Speaking of, I'll probably drag him down a bit while I work on this - thank goodness for Willig to pick up some of the slack and spare Charlie a bit - so that will be depressing once I realize it's happened.) So the light bulb moment when the humble pie smacked me in the face? After the still body, I said I couldn't do the leg aid right, that it seemed like what Shannon described as the correct aid was to pinch my legs together underneath. Like that crane game where you pick up the toy? And Shannon said "like draping down and around?" and suddenly every single time I've read that in every book and article came and slammed me in the face. I am a classic leg lifter - I pull that heel up and back towards the saddle pad and kudos to all the horses who figured out that meant the same thing as "down and around". It felt completely and utterly foreign to me.

Bends and turns

Today in my jump lesson we did some work without stirrups (brutal is the only word I can apply to how it felt and looked), and then worked on some bendy turns on a small course. While none of these jumps were perfect, when Shannon first picked the first line (hard right, roll back left, angled vertical, hard right) I took the "stay quiet and show her she's a lunatic for asking us to do it" approach. But much to my surprise, it actually flowed pretty well. We did it a couple more times, adding in a combination after another roll back, and interestingly, the hardest part was that in the combination, just like in past lessons, I drift very, very far to the left between the first and second fence (a 3 stride line I've ridden now many times), and it took me three tries and one of the ground poles on the side of the fence before my left leg even tried to scoot Charlie right - even then, we still went over the edge of the pole. Charlie is a very sweet, honest jumper, no matter how brutal I look and feel. And I think I forgot to say from my last lesson - included in my basics is: LEGS FIRST. No more hand aids first! I practiced this on Willig yesterday and today, who is very responsive to me stopping my seat using my core, but even hopped up on sedi-vet, he managed to spook twice today.

The year's wrap up

Charlie got: 1st - 1st level test 3 - 60.645% - 10 riders (Dressage in the Park I) 2nd - BN Champs - 35.5 - 8 riders (Aspen Sept) 2nd - BN Rider - 33.7 - 21 riders (NWEC May Classic) 3rd - 1st level test 3 - 65.806% - 10 riders (Dressage in the Park II) 3rd - BN Open - 33.3 - 16 riders (Caber) 6th - BN Rider - 38.8 - 19 riders (Aspen June) And 2 of his 6 scores for the USDF Bronze Medal (now we have to move up to 2nd and then 3rd level) Silver Medal for USEA (BN) Blue Ribbon Award from USEA Certificate of Achievement from USEA Go Charlie!

Back to Basics

Today I asked to start the lesson with a focus on the most basic body position because one of the themes I've noticed through the lessons is that I make a lot of stuff up - things that it seems like I should have been taught when I started riding, never asked about, and have faked my way through it so far. And now that faking is starting to catch up with me - I can't get Charlie truly collected if I don't use my core as the brake. So I sat on Charlie at the halt, and we went over correct position of my heel, toe, leg aid, seat, hands, arms, and shoulders. Then we did it at the walk, and then we tried to do it at the trot. At the trot and canter, it became wildly apparent how ingrained my bad habits are, particularly for my toe (likes to point out to the side instead of forward), leg aid (I like to scrunch my heel up into Charlie's side, instead of squeezing with my leg in its correct position), and right hand, although actually I think this is the left hand (left hand likes to turn sideways (knuckles up) and inch forward, which is why Charlie always looks bent to the right - my right elbow is next to my hip, but my left elbow is way out in front). What's embarrassing about this last one is I've been looking down and seeing how I've got both hands on the same place on the rein, but not noticing how my left hand is like 3" further forward than my right. So we worked on walk/trot/canter/transitions with and without stirrups (the final five minutes without stirrups pretty much turned my legs to jelly) and my toes and lower leg (pointed forward, long and down) pretty much ignored my brain the entire lesson. There is a lot to work on there! My goal for the winter is to retrain my muscle memory on all these aids, so that I have nice lower legs, nice aids, even hands, and use my core as the half halt and brake. I'm going to work on these every ride, and on Willig rides, and also do at least 5 minutes without stirrups each ride and using the mirror to help remind me to stretch that leg long and get my toes forward. And then I'm going to practice coming from a trot to a halt without any hands at all, to teach my core how to do it. It was a good lesson, but kind of humiliating because I couldn't even make my body do some of the things - so that also prompted me to finally buy Beth Glosten's book - I suspect part of the problem is tight hips from all the sitting I do in a terrible chair at work, and so I'm going to add that into my routine also for the winter and hopefully that will help too by next spring. I don't want to handicap Charlie at all for next season!

Charlie's show jumping round

The beginning and end of Charlie's xc course

Yes, that is a spook at the end, where I made the circle - some animal rustled in the bushes (LOUDLY) just as we were going past.

Charlie's September 2012 Aspen Dressage Test

BN A

Work with Charlie that I can practice with Willig

We worked on some basics today that were pretty infuriatingly hard. First - legs draped on Charlie's sides, toes pointed forward. Simple, right? I couldn't even hold it for a single stride before things would flop out of place again. And asking for a transition? Hopeless. Second - keep those fingers closed - all the time - so it becomes new muscle memory to hold them closed instead of flopping open. Third - down transitions. First is "seat" (which is back and core going still), then legs, then hands, and hands are just like a "stop" not a pull back. Three "easy" things that are currently impossible. But I also thought there was no way I'd ever sit the trot, so it's just a matter of putting the hours in doing these correctly until they become a new habit I don't need to think about. So I immediately dedicated some time to it, for the first half of Willig's ride. Until our honeymoon with sedivet ended and he used some birds as an excuse to spin, bolt, and buck down the long side of the arena. He's really pretty much the opposite of kind, gentlemanly, handsome Charlie.

Charlie was great at Caber!

The only real error we (and by we, I mean me) made was not enough left bend on our left circle in our dressage test (we got a 5 for it). Charlie did everything else like a champ. Our 33.3 dressage test score had us tied for 7th, but with only a 4.7 point difference between 1st and 7th. Then after Charlie's awesome cross country round - while we had to slow down at both our check points, he jumped everything in stride like a rock star, even the "big" brush box - we moved up to 4th. Today was show jumping, and 1st-3rd were in a tie and ranked based on their cross country scores, and then Charlie went perfectly clear in show jumping, again, with no bad jumps, and then after 1st place had an error, we moved up to 3rd! Charlie got to do a victory lap (my first victory lap!) and head home. He was, like always, a total and absolute delight to ride. I was a little nervous, but all that hard work we've been doing in our lessons paid off - I could feel the improvement from the first show. And Charlie is just the world's greatest horse, which lets me work on those little details and turn them into good habits. I (heart) Charlie! I had so much fun!

Charlie's 33.3 dressage test

Caber's BN XC course - GPS magic

My amazing boyfriend mapped the course and then calculated the speed (and the too fast) for me after we walked the course Thursday. https://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&gl=us&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&msid=214725165407047817459.0004c7ff8ebf7209ccaeb#bmb=1

350 mpm

Yesterday we worked on feeling the correct pace for 350 meters per minute. I measured out 350 meters with a start and stop, and set up four fences (kind of airy 2'9"ish verticals) (side note - I've got to start work on adjusting my eye - these still looked a bit big to me) and then after warming up, we rode it twice. The first time, I rode it in 58 seconds, but with a bit of an odd fence and then a cross canter that I didn't fix; and the second time in 55 seconds, with improved consistency all around. We go a bit faster at the shows from excitement and nervousness (Charlie, me, respectively, I'm pretty sure I can speak for him and I definitely can speak for me), but I'm pleased that my internal clock had it correct at home. Of course, the downside is that next season, when we go up to Novice, I have to reset for something that's going to feel super sonic. I can't even imagine Training speed. Then we did the 3 stride combination since I've been riding it goofy the first effort, and because I concentrated, it was fine (and I know that particular combination by now). Then we rode it with an easy roll back turn to the combination, and fine again. The secret is not letting Charlie get all strung out and riding him up to the base, not launching him out like I'm prone to do. He's such a champ. I'm so lucky to have this time in the saddle with him. He's making everything fun again.

Charlie jumps like a rock star, in case I haven't mentioned that recently

We had a jump lesson this morning before the heat wave starts, and Mr. Charlie was once again an absolute delight. Shannon's focus was on getting a responsive Charlie ahead of my leg, keeping my leg in the "defensive" position (really just so I didn't nag him, I think), and then keeping my chest open. We did a few courses, with some bendy lines, a 3 stride combination (that I unbelievably, twice rode in 2 strides before fixing it the third time - which is a miracle if you look back 6 months ago where I consistently puttered around like I was running on fumes and almost out of gas), and a line to an angled vertical. The work we did on adding strides a month or so ago made a huge impact on how I see the spot, and I'm now far more comfortable riding up close to the base of the jump (at least, it feels close to me, but now it's a doable close instead of my previous tendency to launch at everything from 10' away). The other thing that feels a lot better is bending from the outside rein and leg. I've started to think of that much sooner on the bend, and if I start asking for it at a reasonable time (not when we're towards the end of the bend because I can be really, really painfully slow in sending the message from my brain to my hand and leg), it really helps us make tighter corners much more smoothly. Next week, Shannon wants to measure out the distance with the meter wheel and set up fences along the outside so that we can work on speed and try to get a better feel for BN speed with the last two shows coming up. Like always, Charlie was a blast to ride, and we felt really smooth and connected today, without some of my weird disconnection.

Willig's first day back under saddle

It feels like it's been forever, but looking back through the blog posts, the time was just dragging. Regardless, Willig was a cool, nonplussed cucumber about going back to work. We walked in hand 5 minutes, walked under saddle for 20, and then did another 5 minute walk in hand. No biggie. Then he got a hair cut - like my hair, his mane gets extremely scraggly when it gets long - neither of us have thick, flowing hair - and ate some carrots and apple and went back into his turnout, like it was no big thing. We do have some things I can devote some work on - getting my left foot pointed straight ahead instead of all wonky out to the left like a maniac, teaching my fingers to hold the baby birds and not let them fly free, open chest and nice elegant position, using my core and hands as the brakes, instead of pulling back with my hands, getting an A+ walk out of Willig in frame, working on his engagement in the walk (and nice steady connection and frame) including some collection, free walk, and lengthening with a medium walk, square halts, and backing.

Willig's search for a new home

Now that Willig is going back to work under saddle, I'm going to start looking for a home that will be a better fit for him. Here's his history in a nutshell: Willig is a 17 hand 2001 American Warmblood Registry chestnut gelding. His sire is Wizard (ARF) and his dam is Hi Fidelity (Trakehner). Willig injured his medial collateral sesamoidian ligament (old name: suspensory ligament of navicular bone). He's been under treatment by Dr. Revenaugh. He had about four months of stall rest with hand walking and three shock wave treatments, then four months of tiny turnout and stall rest, and has just started back under saddle. It's possible that in the future he might need injections in his coffin joint and/or navicular bursa. He has x-rays and an MRI on record with Dr. Revenaugh. Before his injury, Willig was showing 1st level and schooling some 2nd level movements. He's a natural lateral mover and has the potential to progress well beyond 2nd level. Because of his injury, Willig should never jump again. In 2011, he scored 50, 56, 61, 57, and 60 (twice) at recognized shows. That was my first year showing 1st level. He got 63s at training level in 2010. (Keep in mind, I'm an eventer, not a dressage rider.) I'm looking for a new home for Willig for two primary reasons. First, my primary interest is in eventing, and while Willig will likely return to full dressage work, I do not have the time for two horses, so plan to focus my energy on an eventer. Second, over the next year, while Willig will be in need of consistent rehab work, I'll be extremely busy at work, and I'm not sure I will be able to devote consistent time to him. My best guess for a good match for Willig will be an experienced rider who is assertive and calm. Willig has a busy mind and prefers regular work. I'm asking $1,500 for Willig, and anticipate doubling this about every 4 months as his rehab progresses. Because of Willig's injury, there will be strings attached. I will require any sale to be conditioned with an obligatory return to me in case he reinjures himself so that he can go back into treatment or out on pasture, if appropriate. I'd be pleased to provide further information and answer any questions. It's easiest to reach me by email if you send me your email in a comment (I won't publish it). Here is a link to a video of a 2010 training level test: http://vimeo.com/12902590

Counter canter

With the two final shows of the season rapidly approaching, I've suddenly lost all confidence that I have any idea I know what I'm doing on a horse. It would be really interesting to be a totally different person who had fun instead of putting all this pressure on myself all the time. We worked more on the Martha classics - close my fingers, keep my legs long with heels down, and make sure Charlie is responding to my leg (so I can use my core to halt or slow - with hands as a quiet, firm brace). I noticed when we were warming up that my left leg falls sloppy and loose, while the right leg is steady against the saddle. Shannon suggested thinking of some of the Centered Riding exercises to help focus attention in the right way, especially the one where your knees point towards the ground and your legs end as stumps. We did the classic work of getting Charlie moving forward, then round (leg first, then hand), then REWARD him by softening when he gives. Then we worked on trot to halt transitions (minimize walk steps in between). And then we did a wild and crazy counter canter loop (both directions) where I'd try to bend Charlie's neck to the outside, and interestingly, would come off posting on the wrong diaganol. It was a good ride, but it's frustrating that I'm still working on the same old things. Maybe the silver lining of my hours and hours of walking Willig over the next few months will be the perfect opportunity to turn those habits around on the basics, where I won't really have anything else to do!!

Willig goes back to "work" (finally) (notice those quotes)

Willig had his 3 month follow up with Dr. Revenaugh today. He got a very thorough exam, and here's the nutshell: He's got 2-4 months of walking, building up to 10 minutes of trotting. With the aid of drugs to keep me in one piece. Long version: He's sound trotting a straight line on asphalt He's the same amount off as the last 6 months trotting a circle on asphalt He acts as if he's in "pain" (my word) for the flex test. On both front feet. Dr. R used the word "drama queen" to describe some of his behavior. In our arena, with good footing, trotting on the lunge line, he doesn't appear off at all. When he got on the lunge line, he immediately decided to freak out and rear and spin and be naughty because - horrors - he'd never seen a lunge whip before. So he got a new drug - sedi-vet. 1/4 cc dose. Which gives him 50 extra IQ points. He's going to stay on his little turnout for 1 month, and then I'll see how he's doing under saddle. He's going to get 1/4 cc of sedi-vet every time I ride him, which is going to start at a walk and build up to an hour over the four months, with an equally gradual build up to the 10 minutes of trotting. And then I'll see how he's doing and get another check up. Next shoeing he'll get another pad (so he's even) and switch to a straight bar, and then take the pads away for winter since this is the Pacific Northwest and it'll be too wet. I was really anxious about the appointment, and then hadn't strategized for what would happen if he got the green light (a "B+" according to Dr. R) to go back to work. And, horrifyingly, my face fell when Dr. R said I could ride him again.

A spread, some serpentines, and an angle

I started today's jump lesson like I'd never been on a horse in my life, or even seen someone ride one on tv. It was excruciating. My body refused to do all of the things I was telling it to, but also refused to default to - ok, nowhere near perfect, but at least riding - behavior. My right seat bone was jabbing into the saddle, and I have no idea what messed up body thing is going on that causes that. Shannon had me jump a teeny cross rail several times without stirrups, first at the trot (if I had been a watcher on the ground, I would have had to shut my eyes because it was so hideous to look at) and then at the canter (a little better, but still close to making eyes bleed). Even without stirrups, my feet wanted to squish into Charlie's sides and I'd be behind, ahead, sideways - any way but just in balance with him. I was about ready to give up - throw in the helmet and just confess that I'd managed to fake my way this far in life and it'd finally caught up with me. So Shannon walked off and was messing around with the fences - although someone had changed them from last week to little intro level, I assumed she was going to have to make them even easier after my spectacle. Instead, she fixed the distance a bit on what I thought was a 3 stride, and changed its direction, turning the second fence from a vertical into an oxer with about a 3' spread. Then she had us ride two little courses - and lo and behold, all that work we've done on the distances, and riding up close to the fence, has had an effect! It went pretty smooth - with me being able to trust that we could fit in one more stride and not launching Charlie from way out. Then we did it again, but with a tight turn to an angle, and so I rode the first fence, the tight turn, and the angle at a more "collected" (pulled together) canter, then went back to the normal, bigger canter for the last couple fences. And again, we did it! So it's the same old same old - keep working on even hands, not bending Charlie to the right, not digging in with my heels, keeping the rhythm even. But the big difference from when I jumped by myself last week was to get him out in front of me - responsive and light to the aids with a bigger canter than I would pick, and then I could slow him down or lengthen him out, but I had him adjustable instead of sluggish. And - a tiny glimmer of hope of progress. I am learning some of this stuff, even if I'm slow. Then we finally had a chance to watch my DVDs from the first two shows together, and other than my doofus moments that even I can clearly see, Shannon pointed out that I have a few chippers on the cross country fences, and that she's done that too, and when she does it, it's looking down at the fence instead of up and out at the next fence. So that's another one to keep in mind - making sure I don't stare down the fences just because they're big and solid and impressive looking.

A 3/4 empty glass; or 1/4 full

Today's lesson was a big slice of humble pie. I struggled at the start with getting Charlie moving forward off my leg, and then gradually, everything else slowly fell apart. My right hand was pulling back, my left hand was twisting, my right heel was scrunching up and digging into his side, my left leg wouldn't stop twitching, and it just went on and on - it was like I couldn't think of more than one part of my body at a time, and the parts that were habits couldn't remember what to do without my brain actively focusing on them. Shannon's message was: one squeeze. If Charlie blows me off, he gets a tap with the whip. If he blows that off, he gets a belt. Then when he moves forward, he gets a pat. So the big obstacles seemed to be my right hand pulling - it never really gives, so Charlie gets tense and stiff on his right side. So I need to think about making sure that it softens when Charlie softens to it. And then my left hand (mostly, but my right hand too), keeping my fingers closed. Every single time my brain stops focusing on them for a second, blammo, they open up again. Keeping my hands steady and even. Push Charlie forward and then softly stop with my hands. And nice forward into the transitions - don't have that moment of "hanging" that I tend to do. And legs long - no heels in Charlie's side. Now, here's the slightly more sophisticated version from last year. My heels don't need to be in Charlie's side when I get him light and responsive off my leg aids. So the real trick right now seems to be me learning how to do that. I suspect that I have bumbled my way through 1st level, and that if I went and looked at the training pyramid, I would realize that I never did the ground level foundation, and that's why 2nd level is like hitting a wall going full speed. I think that what I need is to go back and learn how to get him light and responsive off my leg - get better control over all four of the basics (right & left hand & leg) - and then 2nd level will just flow. After that excruciating start, we did some shoulder-in and haunches-in, and once again, it was pretty much like I'd never even been on a horse before. Shoulder-in steps are: 1) perfectly straight; 2) moving forward with impulsion and on the bit; 3) then inside leg on; 4) then hands move TOGETHER to the inside, like making a circle; 5) then outside leg keeps him from moving his shoulders back to the rail. Legs on shoulder-in are kind of like the canter aid, but with hands moving together on his neck to the inside. Haunches-in is more natural for me. And turn on the haunches is haunches in, and then turn towards the haunches - so sort of like he's making a C and his nose is going to touch his haunches - turning towards the haunches. After we did that, Charlie got much more responsive and light - just like the last lesson, although I am so behind the 8 ball at this point that I have no idea what I was doing or why it made him responsive - I was just glad to feel it. I have to say - if I'm barely firing on 1 cylinder, I am grateful to all those horses in my life who have put up with my lousy riding up until this point. And to trainers who have had to stand there and watch me suffer through a lesson. The positive side is if I've enjoyed riding this much on not even 1 cylinder, man, I'm going to love it when I really learn how to ride. It's going to be spectacular. And it's got to be pretty much just improvement from here. It doesn't feel like I could go much lower and even sit on a horse at this point.

Shoulder-in is NOT the same thing as leg yield

If I had any pride left associated with my ability to ride, I'd have to swallow it after the humiliating lesson I had today. Ok, so first, I realized dimly that the reason that Charlie has been a bit harder to ride is because Shannon has been really busy, so I'm doing most of the riding. And so Charlie is like a living, breathing exhibit of all of my riding flaws right now. I ride crooked, I pound on his poor sides with my legs, and I scrunch up trying to get him to go. So: #1 - One forward aid. If he doesn't respond, it is the aid with the whip. No more kicking, begging, pleading. And no scrunching up my heel into his side - ride with elegant, long draped legs that have contact, but don't squeeze every stride, and definitely no heels lifting up. #2 - Watch my crooked hands. When we're going left, I should see his left eyelashes. For the right, right eyelashes. No more sloppiness on my end here! To help with this - when we're going left (counterclockwise), my right hand is the outside hand. It stays steady and I ask for the bend and flexion with my left leg and left hand, respectively. Always, I ask for collection and contact with both hands. And it is give and release, give and release. Don't forget the release. Riding on the #3 notch on the reins is about right, but my left hand opens and my right hand pulls back, so I have got to keep a careful eye on them and keep them even - in space and in the amount I pull. #3 - I let Charlie ride kind of heavy, pulling down on the forehand and bracing with his mouth. It took Shannon many, many minutes and a lot of different exercises to get him light in my hands. (The good news is, even though she had to stand there repeating herself like a broken record, eventually I did it. So I can do it - I'm not a limp rag up there completely.) This is hard for me to feel because Charlie is already so light (so pulling and bracing feel light to me), but after a few laps with him carrying himself, I was like, "oh." This took asking him to transition, spiraling in and out, and getting my hands and aids consistent. #4 - Transitions when I ask for them. Not 5 or 10 steps later. Walk to trot to walk should be CRISP! Then, I told her I was working on the 2-1 movements, but suspected I wasn't doing them right. I said the turn on the haunches felt awkward. This led to the realization that I don't know how to do shoulder-in and haunches-in. Shannon said, "Ride him in a straight line and then do haunches in" so I did, and she said "Not leg yield! Haunches in!" so I went the other way, and she said "Not leg yield! Haunches in!" and by the third try she said "Show me haunches in." So no wonder haunches in and shoulder-in have seemed so easy - I just leg yield down the long side and call it shoulder-in or haunches-in. This was great to learn (and quickly filled up my head) but excruciating. Ok, I've never been officially taught 2nd level, but why in the world would I think that the movement was just leg yield on the long side? Obviously, I can't underestimate myself. So a shoulder-in and haunches-in are his body straight, and, for haunches-in, a canter aid position leg placement. It's three tracks, but three tracks with only one part of his body moved (butt or shoulders), not his whole body at an angle like in leg yield. A shoulder-in is easier because you think about being about to ride a circle to the inside. To do a turn on the haunches, you ride straight, power-up like a piaffe, do a haunches in, then turn. So the haunches in sets him up for his hind leg to cross. Now I will re-read the dressage books and see if something "clicks". I always wondered why they said shoulder-in should be like the start of a circle and now it's clear.

New shoe for Willig

Let's hope this is his glass slipper and he turns into a sound fairy princess. Today he got a silicone pad and silicone under his orthotic shoe.

We jumped training level height(ish) again!!

Today in my jump lesson, we worked more on keeping the even rhythm, keeping Charlie in front of my leg (this means having "go" when I use a leg aid), and waiting for that spot - retraining my eye on how close we can get. Shannon inched the fence higher and higher until it was training level height, and it is just AMAZING to jump on Charlie! Even if I was sometimes floppy and ugly, he is so smooth over the fence, and training level is just a blast because you're actually finally jumping and flying. This was a great lesson, and cemented for me that I need to continue to work on retraining my eye and cementing some new habits, but that I understand the basics and just need the hours of practice to get them as habit and not something I have to think about. The big lesson, I think, that is an overlap between lessons and among lessons is getting Charlie responsive. I will kick and kick and kick and scrunch up instead of giving one aid and he better respect it. So that is my #1 goal right now - why do I have a hard time with that, and making sure I don't do it when I ride. My mom is in town and afterwards, I made her walk out and stand next to the fence and admire how big it was. I was very proud.

Poof on Charlie!

Today Mike worked with me on the foundation for the second level movements. He noted that one of the judge's notes was very correct, I tend to allow Charlie's reins to get longer and longer, allowing him to stretch out and eventually fall onto his forehand. We used that to continue our work on Charlie being quick and responsive to the aids (collect/lengthen/collect/lengthen, and to do it very promptly off my aid) and focusing a bit more on not letting the reins slither out (or my heels slither up). Mike also had me tighten my abs at the walk, sitting tall, even, quiet, and elegant, and that made an immediate difference in the "poof" in his shoulders - it lightened him instantly. Until I asked for a transition and threw my hands away. So, oddly, every time I ask for an up transition, I let go of the reins. There isn't a lot to say, but there is tons to work on. It is SO COOL to be able to ride Charlie off of my seat, and while I still have the same things to work on, I really feel like we've made some good progress. Once again, I just need some time to practice it the new way to start to make it a habit. Have I mentioned I looovveeee Charlie? He's a darling, and so patient with me.

Charlie's second 1-3 ride

Me & C thinking; C being handsome

Charlie's 1-3 ride at Dressage in the Park

Revving up the engine

I believe that my next big riding hurdle is to learn how to rev the back engine. I can't ignore the symptoms anymore - when I rode Charlie while Shannon was on vacation, when I rode George while Mike was on vacation, whenever I ride Willig, and this week, when I rode Charlie all week - he was sputtery and slow by the end of the week. It is pretty easy to get the nice movements when I have the engine revved up, but I'm not very good (and maybe that's even being generous to myself) about getting it revved. I started my lesson with Shannon showing her test 1-3, and what I thought was wrong with it (at the canter, his nose was going up in the air, but if I tried to get him on the bit, he'd do a down transition to a trot). And the cause was, as you probably guessed, the sputtering. The way we worked on it was lots of transitions. Halt to canter back to halt to trot, and then lengthening and collecting within the gaits. My instructions before the show today were to do about 5 minutes of loose rein walking and bending, and then the big, confident, assertive transitions to get the engine going for less than 30 minutes. Which we did. And had a nice ride. But this is still a bit out of my grasp, so I am going to need to think more and talk more and ride more on it in my lessons - I think it's a very deep habit that's going to take some real effort to change, but I think it's my next big step to get to the next level of riding.

Handsome, Goofy, and Wet Charlie

4, 5, and 6 strides on a bending line

I thought today was going to be a dud lesson because I've been in a snit and I assumed that meant I'd be difficult and not very receptive. Instead, much to my surprise, it was one of those lessons where I could hardly keep up I was learning so much. Here's the top takeaways: #1 - Ride him forward into the down transition. I was watching Shannon do this at her clinic last weekend, and I started to suspect that I haven't been doing this right. Just like with most things Charlie, it helps me enormously to watch Shannon riding him because I see things that I am doing wrong without realizing it. I think it was the last clinic when I realized she really almost never uses her hands (at least, compared to me) and when I ride him with my seat, he understands better and is far more responsive. So I've been trying to down transitions with my seat only (no pulling back on the reins) and we go down, but we also kind of plummet onto the forehand instead of rocking back onto the hind legs. And this one was one of those slap the forehead it's so obvious lessons - use leg at the same time. Halt the forward momentum with the seat, but use the leg to keep the impulsion and eureka - a nice down transition. Like with everything, it's simple, but going to take some practice to recalibrate the way I've been riding. #2 - Turn from the outside rein. Seriously, how many times do I have to keep being reminded of this? It's sooooo much easier to approach a fence when I turn from the outside rein, but the second I don't think about it, I turn with the inside hand. Use outside rein, outside leg. #3 - Slowing down cross country for the next show. We'll find a nice, long flat stretch and I'll go slower there on purpose. My rhythm was consistent, just a hair too fast at Aspen, so if I just use one flat stretch to go a bit slower, I should hit it just about right. Instead of trying to take my nice consistent 1-2-3-4 and go oonneee-ttwwooo-thhhreeee-foooourr and risk going too slow. #4 - Ok, the exercise for today. To help me spot the distance (something I used to be able to do), first we rode a cross rail with the poles spaced close and rode in on a tiny "piroutte" canter. We did this fine - it was just like our 10 meter circle dressage work only going over a fence. Then Shannon turned it into a bendy line that was a 5 stride. So first we rode it at 5, then shortened the canter to ride it at 6, then rode 5 again, then lengthened for 4, then 5 again. But it took me approximately a million times to get the 6. The 4 I can do no problem. The 5 I do inconsistently (sometimes we launch). But the 6 felt like we were standing still on a merry-go-round (just going up/down/up/down in the canter) and it would still be a 5. Most of this was **the take off spot looks way too close to the fence to me**. So we'd be coming in tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny and I'd think "oh, lord, we're going to go straight through the fence" and launch him from the tiny canter instead of waiting to get to the spot. And then second, it takes me a long time (2 strides) to sit back up and half halt him after we land. I need to get much, much faster at that. Once I finally got the spot a few times, it turns out it's much, much closer than I thought it was - especially on the tiny canter. So it was a really good "feel" test for how off my spot perception was. And it was a great example of how easily I launch (the 4 felt smooth) and how hard it is for me to collect (not Charlie, he was a champ, like always). So it was really good to get it in my head how close we can get and how I can ride right up to the base of the jump - something we'll need to continue to work on, but is step 1 in getting that readjusted in my head. Have I mentioned I love Charlie? Shannon was right a year or two ago - at 36 and not actually all that experienced, a horse like Charlie is what I needed - not a Willig.

Same old, same old; I'm inconsistent

Last week I had the brilliant dressage lesson. We shone like the sun. Today, it was like my entire body was stuck in something sticky. I don't know what makes the difference between the days when I can pull it together and the days I can't, and that drives me crazy. I can't fix it or improve it if I can't at least label what's not working right.

Charlie is AWESOME; I need some work

Our results at Aspen: Dressage - 32.0 (2nd place) Show Jumping - 4 faults (one rail down on fence 2) (6th place) Cross country - 2.8 time faults (too fast) Final - 6th place out of 19; 38.8 1st place for BN rider was 35.0 Our results at NWEC Spring Classic (which I think I forgot to post); Dressage - 26.5 (1st place) Cross country - 3.2 time faults (too fast) (still 1st) Show jumping - 4 faults (final rail down) (2nd place) Final - 2nd place out of 21; 33.7 1st place for BN rider was 31.8 Charlie was awesome, and my goal had been to improve a little bit on each of the three phases - get a slightly better dressage score, go clean in stadium, and get no time penalties in cross country. While I did slow cross country down, I didn't ride any better in show jumping, and in dressage, the razor thin edge between being brilliant in the moment nerves and freezing up nerves slipped into the freezing up side. I lost my left stirrup twice - just before I went into dressage and again after the 2nd fence in show jumping (at NWEC, I lost it over the second cross country fence, so hopefully that is my symmetry for the season and I'm done losing my left stirrup). Although the first walk of the xc course was kind of intimidating, it rode like a charm - thanks to Charlie, who was, once again, a total champ. I felt like my riding (other than dressage) was maybe a micropoint better, but I'm still making dumb mistakes that are messing up a nice blue ribbon. At least this time my pants didn't rip.

Charlie show jumping at Aspen

Charlie's Dressage Test at Aspen

Working on 1-3 with Charlie

Today we had one of those lessons where even though it was in the 50s, by the time I got done, my hair was soaking wet in my helmet. i.e., a success. Other than a few little bobbles, BN-A was fine - I made the same mistake I did in the show and hesitated in the trot to walk transition instead of committing, and I could have slightly improved the right trot to canter transition, but other than that it was rock solid and consistent and smooth. So fingers crossed for tomorrow. For 1-3, we worked on improving the individual movements. We started with some respectful transitions. Charlie was blowing me off just a tiny bit, so we did some walk-canter-walk transitions, and he got a smack with the whip if I gave the aid and he ignored it. After a frustrating 5 minutes or so, I realized it was easier if I smacked him just before he did whatever the bad thing was (blew me off, or down transition before I asked for it) and lo and behold everything went much more smoothly from that point forward. I can't feel them coming 100% of the time, but I can do something about it when I do feel them coming. This helped us with lengthening and then with the collection back to regular canter at the end of lengthening. We'd do a lengthening on the long side, a 20 meter circle where I'd collect him back up, and then either a down transition or another lengthening. Once Charlie caught on to what I wanted (and that it varied), he paid attention instead of "guessing" and offering what was supposed to come next. We also worked on the simple serpentine. I RIDE it (ride being the operative word there, instead of just pointing him in the direction I want him to go), with my inside leg forward, a soft seat, and just a touch on the forehand, so that he doesn't try to offer a flying change. Then we worked on the canter-trot-canter transition across the center line, and again, if I actually ride each step, I get a smooth, flowing transition. For the trot lengthening, that's going to be more of a long term project, so for the dressage show at the end of June, we're just going to ride what he's got (probably a 5) and make up for it on the other movements. I tend to kind of fling him forward and rush it, which is worse than just having it be a somewhat "meh" movement. Oh! And for stretchy trot circle, he tends to get a little fast, so I ride him by halting with my inner thighs, kind of like thinking about asking him to walk. We also started with the leg yield-shoulder in-leg yield exercise, which really helped for those first two movements, and on the two 10 meter circles, I need to learn my 10 meters better (I kept blobbing them out all big) and also have about three steps on the center line and clearly change the bend from left to right on those three steps. About half way through the leg yield, just think shoulder in, and that helps me put his hind leg back underneath him and keep his shoulders from leading. It's much harder going to the left than the right - which was the same on Willig, so it must be something about my confirmation. For the long walk, I need to let my hips rotate (like bike pedals going around) so that I don't restrict his good stretchy walk.

New Eventing Book!

"Fiel" by Diana Vincent.

I need a mnemonic

I had, what is now a "duh, of course" great jump lesson on Charlie today. I have a list of the things that I "get" but just need to keep working on to make them habits - here's the top 8: 1. In warm up, ride him rounder and more forward. 2. Don't bend forward to suck up the reins (after they've been loose). 3. Sit in my two point, light two point, seat down, and then WAIT for the fence - no more launchers!! 4. Keep it even - 1-2-1-2 (a corollary to this is not to get faster, looser, flatter, more strung out (get the picture?) as the course goes on) 5. Turn inside leg to outside hand - not with outside rein 6. Chest open (squished together shoulder blades - chest out, like I'm proud) 7. Commit to the fence and don't wiggle around those last couple strides 8. Make any corrections fast - no dawdling around for 5-10 (ok, sometimes 15) strides before I get it back together again What was nice today was Shannon made things a little twisty, and at the end, just a hair big, and I felt like we did it pretty smoothly. I am having a little more trouble with the combination - I don't correct quickly enough, so that will continue to need some work. Charlie is such a delight to ride. I seriously can't say that enough. I look forward to every ride on him, I'm smiling while I ride, and I'm smiling when I get off.

Willig check up

Willig is still off on his right front. He appears sound going in a straight line, but on a circle (on a very hard surface - asphalt), it's visible to the naked (vet) eye. Three more months of hand walking (or riding, on the days I am terribly brave) for an hour a day. Since most of the last three weeks I thought "there is no way I can subject myself to more of this" I am going to have to dig very deep for the willpower to hand walk him for three more months. The silver lining - ok, there's two - is that 1) he was quite easy to jog in hand, thanks to the hours and hours and hours we've spent together walking; and 2) I have had lots and lots and lots and lots of time to "ride" my dressage tests in my mind by walking them on the ground with Willig. I not only know them, I have thought through every movement my body makes, every potential movement the horse makes, and how my body would correct it. Of course, when I'm on a horse it happens at lightning speed compared to when I'm walking it, but still - it's something. Dr. Revenaugh thought that the lameness was prevalent enough that if he went back to work now, even light work, he'll be lame again sooner rather than later. I agree, but am not sure he is going to recover. The three months is the outlier - if Dr. Revenaugh checks him again in three months and there's no progress, then he said he'd likely "revise his prognosis down" which I translate to "Willig will be permanently lame." I believe the best case if he finally passes his soundness exam is the 2 minutes per week of trot, up to 20 minutes of canter something agonizingly far away, like 16 weeks later. So Willig is looking at a long, long, long, slow recovery (if at all). Stay tuned in three months. And thank god for Charlie this summer. I cried already, but it would have been harder without Charlie to look forward to.

Stick with the commitment

For today's jump lesson on Charlie, Shannon took it up a notch and put me back in the "stretch" zone where I had to really think and work to ride what she asked. After our warm up, we started with an easy little course. Then she rearranged the fences, starting with a vertical jumped at an angle, with some sharp(er) turns. What I foresaw in my head was chaos and clutziness, but we actually rode it ok. Then she changed it again, making it a little harder, and we were a little sloppier, but still did it. Victory! And finally, she set a barrel on the ground with two "wings" and we had to jump the center of the barrel. This took three tries to get right - first I was staring at one of the wings, then I was weaving and couldn't commit to the center, and then finally got it right. She said she once had a lesson where she had to jump an upright barrel without wings!! The thing I struggled with today was making a decision and sticking with it. We started with a little fence with ground poles and rode in with the extra stride. My job was to sit there and not allow the launcher. It's Charlie's job to decide to put in the extra stride, but my job not to go ahead and launch him - it's a bad habit I need to break, especially for upper levels on cross country where it can be dangerous. My preference is almost always to launch, but that's because I've only ridden Beginner Novice where it works ok because the fences are smaller. So that was much harder to do than it is to type. To wait-wait-wait for the fence even if it felt like we were about to ride under it. Then we worked on the sharper turns and the angled vertical. Both of these were the same action by me - make a decision and stick to it. Shannon said she could see as we got closer, I'd start to second guess myself and wiggle all around and poor Charlie didn't know whether to go ahead and go or if I was actually asking for something else. Since I'm really just getting in the way that last stride, my job is to make a decision and commit to it and not mess around at the last minute. It was another fun ride on Charlie. He is an absolute delight to ride and I am enjoying every single minute of it. And anything with a spread still looks a little big to me. It will be very satisfying to look back from the future and think that spreads are easy-peasy.

Happy happy joy joy dressage lesson

Today Charlie and I had a fabulous dressage lesson. We started out with a suppling exercise - leg yield from the quarter line towards the wall, shift it to a shoulder-in, and then shift the shoulder-in to renvers. We only did renvers counterclockwise (since my right bend is fine and doesn't need any further encouragement). This is extremely hard to do without sitting the trot, and Mike says our bodies kind of fake it, which is why he made me (try to) post it. Then we added a canter at the end of the long side. Mike had a great mental image to help with the clenched up right side, which was to open my rib cage on the right. He had to keep reminding me, but he said that he could see it collapsed, which actually means my left side is the one clomping down heavy (coming straight at a mirror, my left stirrup is longer than the right - he said I also cinch up and clamp on with my right leg). Doing the suppling, plus Charlie and I were clicking, meant we got to move right on to some really nice moving. We did an exaggerated exercise next on a 20 meter circle where I took the reins up about 8 extra inches and then asked Charlie to trot without throwing him away, so that I could feel how he lifted his shoulders up into the trot when I don't flap everything loose. Then we worked on the canter, and did a leg yield type move along the long side, then turned it into a 20 meter circle, then into a 15 and 10. This got Charlie's shoulders really elevated, and I'd think 1-2-3 walk or move out of it. When we trotted after doing this exercise, Charlie was really moving through his hind legs, and so he wasn't perfect in his shoulder "poof" but he definitely had a lot more vitality and energy coming through - he felt lighter in my hands, unbelievably, because he's already delightfully light. It was an elevated light, which makes me sound like a hippie. The big takeaway is that I'm still satisfied with far, far less than what Charlie is capable of, and I don't think to ask for more on my own. He got a little resistant, but after one good smack with the whip, he kind of let out a sigh and was like "fine, I'll work hard too". We were both sweaty by the end and got a break in the rain to go on a really nice walk in the field and a short loop on the trail. This also felt like a eureka ride - I think I'm finally starting to chip away at the wall that we've been at. Most of the corrections I made today were to ride with my back and stomach as my brake or to think "elegant" (long and tall) instead of with my hands. I think you need a) enough impulsion and responsiveness to the aids to get the hind leg coming under, and then b) use your back for your half halts and down transitions instead of your hands to keep the energy from going onto the forehand. I think my problem with a round frame has been not doing those two things consistently. It was a really, really fun ride, and I felt really good about it. One of those beaming, grinning, happy lessons.

Charlie is the greatest horse in the whole universe & Maxims

Charlie was also a total rockstar at show jumping yesterday. I got pretty nervous because I was the very last rider - and the rain came back after those two glorious warm sunny days - and I definitely felt the pressure of being in 1st. And then, sadly, lost it, with another beginner error. So the good news is that the mistakes I made are definitely mistakes I can learn from and improve (not "huh? what happened?" sorts of mistakes, which I am all too familiar with), but the bummer is that I made them at all. And yes, it was ME making them - not Charlie, who was a total champ. Our show jumping course was quite smooth (to me) - it was very spacious ridden - it looked harder from the ground than it was to ride. I had walked it the night before and then confirmed with Shannon what I thought - I had only missed one thing, which was jumping the purple vertical at a bit of an angle to make the line easier to the next oxer. And then I got to watch how it rode for several other riders which was nice. Shannon told me that Charlie might have difficulty in the striding to the oxer, and in the classic snowball effect, we were excellent until fence #8, when he launched (and I let him, instead of squeezing in another stride) and then I reverted to my usual habit and didn't pull him back together fast enough, so I was still pulling him together as we turned to the combination, and then I didn't want him to go in short so I kicked him long for the first fence and through the two strides, so he was a bit flat and .... just ... barely ... rubbed ... the very last pole of the very last fence of the very last ride of the whole day, and like a tragic novella, I heard it thump behind us as we went across the finish line and it was the thunk of us going from 1st place with the fabulous cooler for a prize to 2nd place with a lousy leftover ribbon from last year's event and some weird ass stall bag thing. Sigh. But it does give us some things to work on (and a manageable handful at that!) and some progress to make over the next three shows. And Charlie was SO MUCH FUN and so fabulous to ride and I had the best time of my life. It was such a pleasure and an honor and the reason I've been riding my whole life and I am so, so, so grateful for the opportunity. My new maxims: - A beginner rider should not have an inexperienced horse. Beg, borrow, but do not buy until you save the money for a horse who will let you have the space you need to learn. - You are probably less experienced than you think you are. This one is hard because you will not realize how inexperienced you are until you acquire more experience. I have consistently, no matter how hard I am on myself and how much of a perfectionist I am, overestimated my skills. Ah - yesterday I had a whole list of these, so I'll have to fill in the rest later.

Show Jumping

BEST. DAY. EVER.

Ok, today was an absolute blast. The low point? My wardrobe malfunction and no back up pair of breeches. Shannon had to safety pin the hole in my butt closed and then she was nervous it would spring open and poke me, so she duct taped it, and I had a little flashy tail right on my butt. The second lowest point? The second fence, where we both popped out all crazy. For a nanosecond, I thought I was going to fall off, but by sheer fear of letting Shannon down, I willed myself back into the saddle (and thanks to my iron grip from my right leg) and then rode the distance between fences 2 and 3 trying frantically to get my left stirrup back before anyone could see that I had lost it. The third lowest point? The day ending. Tied with the fact that cross country went so fast it was over right after it started. And it really did go fast. To my absolute and total surprise, I went faster - not slower - than expected. Since I am so slow, I had completely ignored all of the rules about what to do when you're slow. Thankfully, in passing Shannon had mentioned it, so I knew I could trot between fences, but I was too scared to make a circle and have it count like a refusal. So I ended up with time penalties - but for being too fast! Charlie was a superstar. He was totally responsive, but once I took my hand off the brakes, he just flowed over the ground. When I'd sit up, he'd slow down. It was incredible. After fence 5, I decided to just trust him and hope that my muscle memory did what it was supposed to do and I just remembered our "signposts" (like ride to the fence then turn to the ditch). It'll be really interesting to see how the video comes out, and whether my riding was as fluid as Charlie felt. It felt like Mach 10, so it'll be interesting to do the math to see just how fast it was. Other than that - just amazing. Just heavenly. I loved every fast second of it. And the tiny spread? Nada to Charlie. He's a rockstar.

Preliminary (my) analysis of dressage test at NWEC

It went much better than my lesson. There were three little wrinkles which could have been improved - I hesitated on our trot to walk transition, which meant Charlie got ready to walk, felt my hesitation, and then finally walked; our right canter to trot transition was not as graceful as it could have been (again, my fault - I was thinking "this is going pretty well! I hope I don't screw up!" and so my stupid brain was thinking about that instead of about riding the next movement - which is a shame because the right side is my "easy" side); and then my trot to halt transition, I let Charlie take several walk steps. I thought the rules said that was ok, but once Shannon asked me, I'm wondering if I was reading something else and applied it because I'm lazy. So I'm going to check the rules tonight, although it's too late for this test of course. Oh, and Shannon said Charlie can do better at the free walk, so we'll work on that. I can't take credits for the braids - Shannon did those. She showed me how, so I'll be practicing that before Aspen. Charlie was a rock star, as I expected. He pulled out some flash for me, was consistent and on the bit, and didn't bobble about anything at all. Thanks to him (and Shannon), I had a BLAST.

Polishing our dressage test before NWEC

And oh man, we needed it. After my last lesson, and then the following week's brilliant ride, and then last week I did conditioning instead, I have been watching this video of us in my mind where we are COMPLETELY KICKING ASS in our dressage test. Well, that was not what was projected onto the screen of reality. Instead, it was like riding through wet sand - everything felt sluggish and in slow motion and while very steady - also very dull and flat. Mike gave me three things to keep in mind tomorrow that we practiced all lesson, but I'm going to add a couple other gems I picked up during the lesson: 1. Bend Charlie to the left when we're going left. Shannon also pointed this out when I was warming him up and when she rides him after I've ridden him, but I curve him to the right - something is off in that leg! So I don't need to think about it to the right, but I do need to think about it to the left (and coming down the centerline). 2. Think "behind the bit" because my feeling of behind the bit is like not even close to vertical. This one is perplexing. Why am I not getting this? I went and walked the course at NWEC afterwards, and like 50 people were warming up, and they ALL had the vertical head. I don't understand what my problem is. 3. Be flashy. This is a show. Ride with some ooomph and pizazz. I was trying to do this and not succeeding, so #6 is how Mike got our flash back. 4. Brake with my back. Using my hands as brakes is like the emergency stop on a bus - Charlie is trained so light and responsive that he just plummets down to a stop. 5. Transition from trot to canter - give him a few good jiggles with the reins, and then DO NOT LET HIM toss his head up! I've been letting him get away with it. 6. Ok, as best as I can tell what we did in my last lesson, and what I did the following week was (same old theme) actually ride him, and then I reverted to my tepid, passive style. So he gets a little warm up, then he get a good konk, then I get my legs off him, then he goes a few strides and gets another konk. If he doesn't leap forward, he gets a smack with the whip. I only have to do this 3-5 times total and then he is like "ok, fine" and goes to work. Then, to keep him fresh, listening, and responsive, I ride each gait big and then little. I extend the trot, and then I collect it (my versions of extension and collection) - I ride him on the cusp of breaking from canter to trot, then lengthen it. And I do not let him drop his head too low or get too strung out. So we improved a lot from my first run through of the test to the last, but I wanted to saunter out like a rock star, and instead I feel like we have so much to work on ... and a class of 21! Charlie is such a great horse, and I don't want to let him or Shannon down. So I'm going to think the three main points tomorrow: bent left, behind the bit, and flashy! And then really ride him in my warm up, and brake with my back. My fingers are crossed. It's a great forecast (even better for Saturday) and I think this is going to be the best riding weekend of my entire life so far!

Bascule!

Today's lesson was our final jump lesson before NWEC next weekend. Shannon made the fences just shy of training level height, so that at the show Beginner Novice will look puny. We had a really smooth first round, where I felt like some of what we've been working on over the last month has started to stick - I'm smoother at the two point to light seat and slightly better at keeping my hands pressed into his neck, although Shannon said when I got nervous, I'd start see sawing with my hands. I also felt like I was collecting him up faster and everything was going smoother. That changed when she added the extra few inches, mostly because then Charlie jumped with a bascule (I've felt it a couple of times with Willig - it's the moment of suspension in the air where you're flying perched above the saddle - it's amazing), but it was over almost every fence and so big! I had to just perch above the saddle and hang there in the air, and I wasn't even giving enough of a crest release, so it was so big I had to keep slipping the reins! It was an amazing feeling and really fun to ride, but it took me by surprise. We did just a little course, twice, after the warm up, and Charlie was a total champ. No matter what I screwed up coming into (or after) the fence, he'd take care of me and deal with the fence. So my checklist is: chest open, hands pressed into neck, no see-sawing with hands, legs in front (defensive), two point until the corner before the fence then sit up into light saddle, use my back for half halts not hands, if I have to slip the reins be fast on collecting everything back up (same goes for if something goes a little wrong - recollect quickly), and even rhythm. Other than that, Charlie takes care of the rest. Those fences were so cool to ride. I can't wait to do it again. We also looked at a couple of my lousy braids, and Shannon showed me how she does it (waxy thread and some quick braid spray), so before the next show I'll have to practice some more. Oh, and we talked about the dressage test - I've been having a hard time feeling the line between a big free walk and when he's ready to break into trot. Shannon pointed out that I'm rushing, not doing a big walk, and he needs to lower his head more.